Saturday, February 18, 2006

School life again

Well, enough about adults for the moments. This post, I am going to feature about assholes among students.

Ever seen the kind of students who are so uncharismatic that you hate them and feel like slapping their bloody face, and every thing they say, even if its saying 'the moon is beautiful', it offends you because well, they are the ones who said it? If you haven't, then feel free to come to HSBP. HSBP is the nesting place for such people, aptly labeled as 'Assholes' or MFs.

Well, just to prove how interesting it is, let me just show a couple of dialogues, though not exactly precise, not word by word, but the general idea is there. No Names.

Asshole number 1. A Form 4 guy who just have the knack to make everyone pissed. Here's a few examples.

I am the vice president of St. John ambulance of my school. This happened many times already, but what the heck, I'll take this one time as example. I was discussing with a form 4 member, who happens to be a potential president to replace us when we retire, and along comes this asshole 1. We were discussing about duty for members, and I was giving instructions, so Asshole 1 was sitting close by and listening to our discussion. Then, just to attract attention, he just suddenly yells

Asshole 1 : 'St. John sucks!'

Me and Form 4 Member : *gives the omgwtf? look*

And not only once, everytime he sees me he just suddenly yells St.John sucks! Wtf is this guy's problem?

Asshole 2. A form 5 guy who happens to share a class with me. This guy likes to be know-it-all, and have the tendency to comment about everything, even with stuff he doesn't know anything about. Statistics have shown that 95.9% of the people hate him, 4% avoid him, and 0.1% tolerates him. He likes to act like he knows everything, and when he stumbles across people discussing stuff, he will listen to a few words to get to know to the topic, then he will butt in himself and give comments, often offensive and blunt and the words of a fool. Heck, even his physical stature is offensive, he is a short guy with an asshole face.

Zhi Wei once quoted some famous guy I can't remember who, that Asshole 2 is the embodiment of the wise words.

"A wise man speaks when there is need to speak. A fool speaks because he has to speak."

So, well, here is one example of him with his dumb crass joke, oh wait, make it two. Apparently he likes this girl, who happens to be taller than him. Let's name the girl 'Girl'.

Asshole 2 : Actually hor, me and 'Girl' is about the same height, I think I am taller also.
Everybody : *Rolls eyes*

Here's another example..

Teacher : Asshole 2, what did you do last night? Why cannot answer my question and look so tired?
Everybody : OOOHHHhh!!! Naughty last night!
Asshole 2 : No lar, I only raped 'Girl'

Enough said.

Asshole 3 : A form 4 guy who happens to have a very provoking physical appearance. Fat and giggly, and is constructed of 60% fat, 30% rubbish, and 10% clothes. He likes to talk crap, and just practically annoys everybody the wrong way. Yeah I know, but I annoy people the right way, I mean, they know when I am trying to annoy them just for fun. But this guy annoys even when he says nothing.

Here's a couple of example.

Me : Eh, check this out man! *shows a namelist for first aid duty*
Form 4 Potential President : Hmm?
Asshole 3 : *Squeals!* *Giggles* *Fucking sounds* *Loads of crap*
Me : Oi, shut up lar! Damn noisy..
Asshole 3 : Shut up and smirks and grin and shows a stupid face.

After a few moments... Asshole 3 complains to President that I practise favourism and is bent on scolding him and giving him all the shit while others get the cake.

Well, I suppose this post is long enough. To tell the truth, there are many assholes in St John as well. In Batu Pahat St John I mean. Maybe feature them in my next post XD

Oh yeah, I suppose High School guys should be able to figure out who are Asshole 1, Asshole 2, and Asshole 3. There are a couple more, but well, they are not as hateable as these few. Damn, I need at least 2 hours to feature one by one. Maybe I even make a poem if I feel like it XD

What about you? Don't you meet people whose existence offends people?


Zhi Wei said...

WAHahahahaa... yeahhh i know who asshole 1 and 2 are... unfortunatley for asshole 1, he's finally realised that I can be more annoying than HE can be, so now I annoy him pulak.hahahahaa.

MF 2 is BEYOND asshole lah wei. that guy is a (&#%!(!1..... some more said that about 'girl'... -_- ...

not sure abt the third tho. haha. though 'provoking physical appearance' brings a very familiar person to mind. haha.

..WEI YOU FORGOT THE KING OF LEBIH-NESS!!!! you surely know who I'm talking about... pencegah jenayahhhhh waakakaka.. hahaha.. HOW CAN YOU FORGOT THE KING OF LEBIH-NESS!?!!!

Zhi Wei said...

..and btw that quote was from Plato.

oneaisyah said...

lol ..ur school sounds like an asylum lah wei . with all the psycho teachers and annoying jerks .. :P hahaha .. kidding !!

Leslie said...

I think at least in asylums the nutcases are happy... its worse than an asylum man..