Thursday, February 23, 2006

Busy Week

Been too busy to update. With all the activities ( monday cross country practice, i did first aid. Tuesday tuition and Undang, Wednesday double tuition and undang, thursday friendly debate, friday actual cross country more first aid ) just freaks me out. Well, in case you are wondering whyI went for Undang for two days, I didn't go for the test on Tuesday. The driving school didn't register me, that aunty still want to gan pao with me. Say is my fault lol! Then, me and Zu Da combined forces and gan pao back with that aunty, shoot until she speechless. :D

And anyway, just a small part about school. We have learned that the principal's way of starting a speech is 'Bersyukurlah kerana kita dapat hidup satu hari lagi'. I know, its not wrong. But coming from a person you hate, everything is annoying and stupid.

And heh, the Prime Minister is landing in my school on Sunday. Apparently there is some UMNO thing to honour the late Dato Onn at the stadium, so the PM is landing his helicopter in HSBP. Apparently because of that, they are repairing and making the toilet a 5 star toilet and renaming it 'washroom', principal's idea no doubt. I don't think we want the PM to suddenly get the urge and find our toilet full of Djinns do we? Of course not. And on top of that, they are trimming all the tree branches around the field. 'Takut ada orang dengan pistol' With all these security, initial thoughts of having a picture taken with the PM is dashed. Imagine me walking into the field and ask the PM 'Can I shoot you?' I will be dead long before I can even show them the camera.

Anyway, regarding the PM, much work has been done to improve the school. Well, areas around the field anyway. He will only be here for a couple of minutes, and it takes days to prepare. Big balls indeed, but of course, he is the most important man in Malaysia. His arrival will certainly put HSBP on the Malaysian Map ( maybe newspapers will feature us XD ) and I seriously doubt there will be assasins hiding in our toilets. They will meet our djinns man.. Seriously, I saw djinn in my school many times already. He always wear a black coat, has white hair, looks frail and arrogant, have a lecherous and pouty lips ( but not the sexy kind like Amber Chia has, his is dried up like.. like.. a persimmon? ) And his name is the Principal. Assasins will die from an overdose of nonsense before they get to kill.

Two cases of scenario when the PM arrives. One, he doesn't bother about anything, gets in his limo and goes off. Two, he gets the nature call, and he uses our toilet ( omgwtf ).

Two cases of scenario if he gets the nature call. One, he goes 'Great! Your school is great! I will give you some kind of reward or anugerah!' That will be great, unless he wants to tour the other toilets and meet the other djinns. Two, he gets freaked out. 'Your toilets sucks, and now that I notice it, the field sucks too. Even your roads are uneven, your trees are bare, and your principal is an idiot' He gets freaked out, yells at everybody, and then goes 'I will give you two million dollars of budget. Get everything fixed. This is a disgrace.'

Disclaimer : meant as a joke, that is never going to happen right? No offense intended, except maybe to certain parties related to djinns.

On to more activities :D On Wednesday, the Timbalan Pengarah Pendidikan of Johor retired, and the function was held in HSBP. The principal's head is swelling to sixty six times its size, and apparently the TPP is a typical Italy character. ( Italy in chinese is One big ball ) He was scheduled to arrive at 10.30 in the morning, and I was supposed to command the St John contingent to give tabik hormat alongside PKBM. HE WAS TOLD TO BE HERE AT 10.30am!! And we were told to be ready by 9.45am wtf? And the person arranging all these was Super Mario. And the Super Mario promised us drinks after the respect-paying is done. We waited from 9.45 until freaking 11, standing in the hot sun and me trying to prevent my boys from fainting. Oi, girls can take it, guys cannot? Damn pissed. So, he finally arrived at 11am. I rushed to my position, and at the last minute my scarf went loose and dropped off. WTF!!!?????

To top it off, Super Mario's promise of a drink was actually from the canteen. And the drink is given in this way. A pail of cups were given to SJAM and PKBM, which of course does not even reach 40. A BIG BARREL of air sirap is shoved to us, and we were to carry it to anywhere but canteen. -__-" And my boys were so disgusted that they had to share cups, and drink everybody's saliva that many cringed and forgot their thirst. Well, not men yet.

And the friendly debate match, I was the speaker of the house again. Our school's junior team against a friendly school's main team. And this time, I really freaked myself out. I made a couple of stupid, and I mean stupid mistakes. It was 1.50pm in the English lab. So I started with 'A very pleasant MORNING' and then proceeded to mention the WRONG SCHOOL name. Everybody laughed, and I did try to make it sound like it was a slip or an intentional joke. Damn. And then, feeling naughty, after two speakers had spoken from each side, I tried to crack a joke. "Having heard from two speakers from both sides, and much arguments about Sesame Streets, let us now hear from the third speaker of the Government." Nobody laughed, and some stared at me. Wahlao eh.... damn embarassing lar! A little side note, I found Umair extremely nervous, and didn't get to see Chern Jin perform, but heard he was an even bigger bundle of nerves than Umair was. Umair just stuttered and lagged, that's bad. But, not bad for a first time. Umair, you should just look at my first time, I couldn't even read. Joshua, well, he was too serious. I could see Zhi Wei pulling his mouth from both sides with both his forefingers. He looks seriously stupid, oh wait, he IS a little stupid in that aspect.

I guess that's it for activities. On to the next episode of 'Assholes and Mofos'.

Apparently, Asshole 2 demands for a promotion to Mofo. He has been saying things that only people worse than Mofos will say. He feels insulted that 'Girl' is going out with my friend now, and just think he is so cool talking about sex, so he just keeps on ranting about mindless sex with my friend in school. Each time, he tries to put that accusing tone that my friend is going to have sex with 'Girl', aaah well just being worse than a Mofo lar. But whenever there is one guy around, he gets shot once. Two guys, he gets shot four times. Three guys, nine times and four guys sixteen times. If those were gunwounds, he would have died many times already. Why do people think its so cool to talk about abusive sex? They are not ME for god's sake! Asshole 2 lacks the humorous and charismatic way to talk about sex like I do, and yet he thinks he is so cool and slick when he talks about it in such a nonchalant way. Naah, we just roll our eyes and chant 'Asshole, Mofo' in our minds, and then we shoot him.

Asshole 2, oh wait, Mofo Master : Has 'Girl' ever been to your house? She goes to my house THAT often before.
Friend : 'Girl' will be invited to my house, so you don't kay poh so much.
Mofo Master : Great! Then you can do THAT with her.

Everyone : rolls eyes*

Friend : Girlfriends are for us to dote and pamper, not only for sex you arsehole.
Everybody : *starts chipping in insults like in the casino where they bet with chips, you can imagine the chips piling up. Take the chips as insults, and Mofo Master is the dealer who has won all the chips.

He just like to win, eh? Let him have all the chips then.

Speaking of talking style, no one can match yours truly XD. I am crude without the 'c', cute without the 'e', harsh without the 'h', and make you go char without the 'c'.

Until then, Goodnight ;) What a lenghty post ( heaves and weezes )

3 comments:

Zhi Wei said...

eff you la. hahahaha.

function for the shooting of wei yap: f(x) = x^2, with x = number of people present. ok i've been doing too much addmaths. :P

i wonder how many times the word 'djinn' appeared in this post. mauhaha.

wackywans said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wackywans said...

hahahaha XD LOL

btw, you r one of those few ppl who'll never suffer from low self-esteem -__- ..

and r Malaysian-VIPs EVER punctual ? :P