Life

Today Professor Leslie will make the strange connection between life and survival.

The way I see it, life is all about survival.

You have to survive your childhood by not dying in some freak accident. And enjoy as much of this phase as you can.

After your childhood, you begin education phase. That's where they brainwash you into mindless zombies and tell you you are a free individual cause you are educated. You gotta survive this. Its a whole load of crap actually, and at times life in this phase is really really hard.

Then you begin work. Work for society to earn your keep in society. Contribute your part for society to be parasites of Earth. And working phase absolutely sucks so bad your shit actually smells great at times (ok disgusting comparison sorry). Working politics, politicians, wages, finances, sex, booze, sin, religion and all suddenly swirls around in a cauldron that makes a concoction smellier than your shit (ok i used it again. Real sorry). You gotta survive this somehow.

Somewhere in the middle of work phase, you have kids. You fulfill your biological role, that is to reproduce (which explains why orgasms feel so great. To encourage you to breed). Your kids turn out to be total pain in the ass. You got to survive this.

And then, you retire. You still got to battle those incoming diseases as a result of those many phases of life. You have got to survive this, though it doesn't matter if you don't.

In the end, you survived everything, you can now go and die.

Sorry it was morbid, was not meant to be. Just a ... ok maybe slightly morbid way of looking at life in the 21st century.

(And now they are telling me 2012 Feb 1 is Armageddon. WTF? The year I graduate on my birthday.)

God

Ok, if there's a God, he's on my case.

First, I got my wish from god. Read previous post. I shall not say what it is.

Then suddenly trademe.co.nz people came selling stuff that i want, all for 1$ or 2$, without competition. I bought almost 10 books off for less than 50NZD. Ok, they're mostly second hand (with a couple of brand new ones) , but what a grab!

My mistake was never acknowledging that this probable god gave it to me.

So he or she punished me.

AAAhh I made a 60 dollar mistake!! And a stupid one at that! I mistook a bed cover sheet for a DUVET cover sheet!

So yeah, I acknowledge your probable existence, oh probably god! Now grant me more good stuff.

PS : I suspect this god is Aimee, for she hath typeth to me that I have to close my eyes, speak her name out loud 3 times and the sky will open above me and she'll grace me with her presence. She said she has no money though =/

PPS : I decided Aimee is not God. She is GAWD

What a day

Today I found out one thing.

If there is a God, he's a real cheapskate.

My day started horrible.

First I had a massive headache the moment I woke up I had to cancel the gym appointment with my friends to sleep it off.

Then I overslept wayyyy into lunchtime. If Kelvin hadn't messaged me, I would have missed lunch. (bugger phone didn't ring my alarm!)

After lunch, I tidied up my room and cleaned my clothes.

Then I sat down and revised my Mechanics.

The easiest question eluded me. I couldn't solve it. God knows why, but my brain is stuck. I could not even understand what the heck the lecturer was writing in the solutions. So yeah, I failed at copying answers there.

To add salt to the wound, I realized my room keys are missing. They cost 15NZD to get a replacement.

Feeling extremely pissed, I chucked the text books away and started playing poker on facebook. Lost my trousers.

I then turned to computer games, hoping to massacre the computer players.

I got kicked in the ass and had a cucumber shoved inside (ok disgusting analogy. Sorry)

Then all the items I bid on trademe.co.nz were outbid (they were fantastic bargains)

Which, is a string of extremely bad news. To top it off, I could not find my maths assignment that I did partly before.

Which means, I lost my keys when I tidied my room, and I threw away my maths assignment together with scrap paper.

WTF

So I yelled out in MSN at god.

"Dear god, the only thing that can compensate my shitty day is by giving me 1000nzd to spend"

And what happened?

God gave me back my maths assignment AFTER i printed a new one and finished it.

God gave me back my keys, which he hid among my instant noodle stash.

AND he let me kick the computer players' ass and shove brinjals up three times over.

I say, you cheapskate you!

Above all is true except my feelings for God though, everyone knows I am agnostic hahaha xD