Penguin Lords storm KL, rendezvous with KL BRATs with conspiracies

Chapter 1 - 9th December 2006

Leslie got up early in the morning. After washing up, he went downstairs. And Hark!

What he discovered was two slices of ROTI CANAI!! At 8.15am, it was still early. His bus leaves at 9am, so he had no worries about being late.

And he finished eating them at 8.35am. What was the time to meet Zhi Wei again? Ah yes 8.30am. I am still early.

Despite his aunt urging him to be faster, he still takes his time nonchalantly.

So he arrives at the bus station at 8.45am, and saw his friend conspirator Zhi Wei. Zhi Wei ( ZW ) was with his mum, and she was busy cautioning him and all sorts of advices.

Leslie joined him, and surveyed the crowd for possible assasins on his valuable life. After all, he was an Important Emissary for Penguins and Ultramans.

The bus had a sign. Batu Pahat to Kuala Lumpur non-stop.

During the journey, amidst drowning in My Chemical Romance ( MCR ) songs and ZW reading a freaking book, Leslie suddenly felt as if the bus was not moving. The clock showed 11.30am. That was around 2 and a half hours of journey to KL from BP.

Looking around, in and out of the window, he finally found out why. The bus felt as if it was not moving because it was not moving! He looked out the window, and saw a white mercedes beside. He began dreaming of life when he is successful, with six cars, six houses and six of everything in the world.

When he stopped day dreaming, he looked out the window again. The white mercedes was still there. Had the bus travelled so fast that the mercedes barely managed to keep up?

To Leslie's horror, the bus had not moved an inch. The clock showed 11.52am. NON STOP?? My feet and penguin flippers!

Finally, they arrived in Pudu Raya at 12.45pm. Unfortunately for the world, they are not going to jail. Immediately after disembarking, Leslie scanned the crowd for more possible attempts on his life. His lowly servant, ZW stared around like an idiot. When he felt safe enough, he handed his bags to ZW and proceeded to buy return tickets.

He called his cousin, Chee Pink ( CP ). CP asked them to go to Jaya Jusco and have lunch there while he gets there. He said he was on his way to Jaya Jusco.

So the duo, a High Lord with a wretched servant went to Jaya Jusco. A plate of chicken rice costed RM 7.50. Leslie was fucked. And ZW actually said he avoided fast food because they were too expensive. Before he began eating, Leslie checked his watch. 1.30pm. He called CP again. 'I am on my way' CP assured again. Leslie began eating.

After they finish eating, Leslie called CP at 2pm. 'I am on my way!' CP reassured. He finally arrived at 2.45pm. Leslie was fucked.

They then proceeded to shop around. CP asked Leslie and ZW to visit the MPH bookstore upstairs. Leslie felt a sudden urge to yell. Why had he not been informed of the presence of a MPH bookstore so near?

And so when they came to the MPH bookstore, ZW began saying 'Master, let's go to the SPM book section.' Puzzled, Leslie let ZW lead. Upon reaching the reference books for SPM, ZW began laughing loudly "AHAHAHA I NEED YOU NOT ANYMORE!". Leslie was fucked.

After browsing around several sections, Leslie found this and ZW photographed it.

Children's books included such books? Leslie never knew that, and cursed that when he was a child all he ever read was Enid Blyton.

At night, CP brought them to Sungei Wang shopping centre. Leslie asked to go to the toilet. So ZW waited outside. And he found this.

A women's toilet with a toilet sign. Without a door.

Leslie was unfortunate enough to share a bedroom with Zhi Wei. CP's condo apartment only had one guest room. So he had no choice but to share the room.

When everybody went to sleep, ZW started snoring like a truck. Leslie was very very fucked.

Chapter 2 - 10th December 2006

Leslie and friends were supposed to met in Midvalley at 10am. ZW awoke well rested and joyful. Leslie awoke sleepy.

They met Navin Kuma in Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT station. Then they began crapping. As they boarded the KTM train, Aima stepped in. Leslie saw her first, but dismissed her. Since Leslie never saw her anyway except in photos, which she sure did bear resemblance to. Well, because she's the one in the photos.

So the trio started crapping, oblivious to Aima's pitiful existence in the train. Until she could not bear it anymore and said 'EH! You all also here??'

Upon arriving in MV, the first destination was McD's for breakfast. Leslie 'forcefully owed' Aima a Sundae, which he decided to buy it. Anything to shut her up.

The McD counter attendant girl looked innocent enough. When she asked Leslie what flavour of Sundae he wanted, Leslie leaned in and whispered 'Mixed please'. She was taken aback. It was the request for certain death.

ZW stepped in, trying to be a hero. He said 'Strawberry please'. Leslie shot ZW a glare.

Then, Aima started complaining. She said 'WHO THE HELL EATS STRAWBERRY SUNDAE??'

Leslie was fucked. Again.

Bee Bee arrived soon after breakfast. As she strode towards the gang of four weirdoes, Leslie began assessing her mind for any traces of insanity. Any residues in her mind after severe brainwashing by himself and Zhi Wei.

If there were, she did not show it.

Angel arrived soon after. And she asked a question.

"Zhi Wei, who is your friend here?"

Leslie was fucked. Again.

From left: Bee Bee, Angel, ZW, Navin Kuma, Aima, Leslie

Then Angel asked an interesting question again. "Where are we going now?"

Everybody said "Don't know.." and then started walking again. To where, it was undecided. So the entire gang decided to go Burger King, since they offer free places to sit.

Bee Bee suddenly felt like eating sugar-coated strawberries. It costed RM3.50 a stick. Seven Strawberries each stick.

Halfway through the chatting process, Aima got a seizure AND a fit. She started trembling like crazy then she grabbed Leslie and started strangling him. Leslie was yelling for help, but alas, people laughed. Apathy! Apathy causes death. Fortunately, Leslie survived the ordeal, though it was traumatizing.


This is Aima with Angel.

This is Navin Kuma. Who apparently is the 'Product Supervisor' for Carrefour. He earns RM80 a day. Apparently, when asked what Product Supervisor actually meant, he said 'In short it means Promoter lar...'

And when asked, Angel simply said 'Oh I am working for Osim now with the iGallop thing. I earn RM180 a day'. For once, Navin Kuma was fucked instead of Leslie.


This was in Midvalley Burger King. Free seats. From left : Bee Bee, ZW, Navin Kuma, Aima, Angel, Leslie

Of course, who goes to a shopping centre without at least window shopping. Aima led the gang to Rock Corner and started swearing at the shop. 'Why is it called Rock corner when the rock songs are so little' or something. Leslie suggested it be called 'Stone corner'.

This is Aima. She apparently had another fit and a seizure. She started strangling a stuffed toy of a penguin.

Soon, one by one, they left. Until Leslie, Zhi Wei, Bee Bee and Aima was left. Despite Navin Kuma's insistence that his working hours are 'flexible', he finally decided to leave. Angel also had to work. And Joshua came amazingly early and left so fast we couldn't finish a bowl of kuey teow.

And soon the question arose. What are they to do tomorrow?

Final verdict after much argument : Midvalley. Because Joshua said so.

What the fuck.

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One hour and a half for two parts. This is crazy. Update another two parts another time.

Complete set of photos can be found at ZW's Multiply since I did not bother to bring my camera. Asyraf would laugh his ass off himself looking at my camera.

Finally xD

The procrastination has come to an end. Well maybe I'll just do this later..

Ah alright, no use procrastinating again. I think its going to take me an entire night and day to sort out the photos, so I'll get down to updating the KL thingy tomorrow xD

For now, I shall update on Eragon : The movie.

The verdict : Sucked
The score : 4 / 10

Reason in General : Plot was hacked to pieces, then mutilated over and over again. Poor acting.

Reason in Detail ( Warning : Super spoiler. Do not proceed unless you do not intend to read the book )

1. Elves no pointy ear? Wtf
2. Dwarves taller than men
3. Role of side characters like Murtagh, Brom and such too short and unimportant
4. King Galbatorix is not supposed to be seen at all anyway
5. Durza was shot by Murtagh, not Eragon
6. No Jeod, no Helena, no Twins, no Katrina and millions of characters missing. Worst of all, no Solembum. And Angela was hardly mentioned at all.
7. Eragon did not jump from Saphira's back to attack Durza.
8. Murtagh was supposed to help Eragon after he was captured by Ra'zak, not stalking like a sex maniac
9. Murtagh freaking doesn't want to go to the Varden, but in the movie he offered to bring Eragon there
10. Arya was supposed to be unconscious, but there you have it, she was alive and healthy instead of alive and near death and unconscious
11. No Urgals were chasing them. They appeared out of nowhere.
12. Brom also appeared out of nowhere to take the spear for Eragon.
13. Uncle Garrow looked more like sleeping instead of dead.
14. Brom was not killed by Durza. He was killed by poisoned dagger of Ra'zak.
15. Eragon learned magic through desperation when he shot TWO Urgals in the head with one arrow, instead of AN ENTIRE COMPANY of Urgals AND a Bridge with one arrow
16. Angela looked like a whore instead of a witch
17. The battle was no battle. It suddenly ended with a victory when Durza died. No explanation were given even though the Varden were clearly portrayed outnumbered million-to-one.
18. Eragon and Murtagh's friendship were not shown to grow.
19. Hadarac desert scene was cut off entirely.
20. Plains with storm scene was cut off entirely.
21. Farthen Dur city scene was cut off entirely.
22. City where Jeod was in ( forgot the name xD ) was cut off entirely
23. Arya was supposed to reject Eragon. But in the movie it looked like she was in love with him instead of Eragon in love with her.
24. No character development is evident. In the book it can be felt. He just changed from a farm boy to a hero in an hour. Well, literally.
25. Saphira's script was way too corny.
26. Saphira's name was chosen after Eragon listed a name for her, not her introducing herself.
27. Brom could 'talk' to Saphira. It was not seen in the movie.
28. Nasuada was not introduced properly. Her role was 10 seconds in the movie. She plays quite an important role ok!!
29. Varden people looked like gangsters instead of freedom fighters.
30. Eragon did not bless the little girl.
31. Brom did not teach Eragon anything in the movie.
32. Roran's departure was abrupt and wasn't even explained at all

32 reasons why the movie sucked. Wasted my money buying it, and the director wasted his entire budget to make this film. I wonder how Christopher Paolini took this down?

I should like to see the movie for the sequel book 'Eldest', since characters like Jeod, Katrina and the twins played super important roles to make the twist in the end. But then, if they are going to mutilate it as well, there's a high chance I am not going to watch it at all.

KL trip post coming right up!

Malaysia Boleh

This will be the last post until next Wednesday ( not that I have been very hardworking anyway. My productivity has reached total zero. )

This is because I will be in KL with Zhi Wei meeting up with a couple of BRATs friends. If you want to meet us, feel free to call us. We're still too free despite the current plans xD

I won't post my number here. I don't want any stalkers on my back. So I'll post Zhi Wei's number here, contact him if you want to contact me or him.

Zhi Wei's number is : 012-3456789. Damn expensive number wei, better call and make it worth his while.

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On to today's post. Today I am featuring Malaysian Drivers. No kidding. In Bolehland, the drivers are all extremely skilled people. To make my point, I even spent the whole night drawing shit on paint but fortunately still quite comprehensible.

For starters, Malaysian drivers are the most skilled drivers in the world. This is a common thing to happen, as I have observed for quite a while.

If you do not understand this.. it means that two lanes can become four! You think everyone can do it meh?? Only Malaysians can do it you know!!

This one happened to me. Imagine you driving along the road, and suddenly one whole row of
cars parked are coming out TOGETHER and drive you off to another lane.

This is another common thing. You're approaching the traffic light and you're first. The traffic light is turning red, so naturally you would slow down. Then comes along some hot shot and overtake you JUST BEFORE THE LINE.

I say, never underestimate Malaysian drivers. Driving on a straight road with smooth traffic, one or two of us can get into the drain. God knows how, but they always manage. You ever seen this in other places? No right!???

This is a Malaysian Classic. Two super duper wide roads. One heading south, one heading north. Both one way. This can even happen in Highways. Somebody always manages to get on the wrong side of the traffic. Sometimes I wonder how they get out. It is not uncommon. I repeat. It is not uncommon.


Generally, Malaysian drivers can be categorized into two categories. One kind, is the one who cheong traffic lights, and basically cheong everything else. 2 seconds to go, and they are 1km away from the light, you bet they sure cheong.

Another kind are the slow and steady kind. Yeah, slow. Very slow. So slow in fact, they take the 15 seconds out of the normal 40 seconds in a green light just to pass the line. Ok maybe I was exaggerrating, but I have encountered these kind personally. Me and my pal Christopher. Many occasions. We were not stepping on the gas pedal, and we're overtaking them. Wtf.
Even the accidents here are special. Motorbikes tend to crash during rainy days. This special accident I saw was laughable if it wasn't so tragic. The motorbike crashed and lay horizontally in the middle of two lanes. And the road was quite narrow xD Blocked the entire road.

Malaysia is infamous for its Mamak. Some of the mamak are so good you would die if you don't put on weight there. But some are notorious mamak xD You have to becareful by what they mean by 'tambah lauk'.

To people who don't understand this post, you have to be
1 ) One who is seriously underaged and has no experience whatsoever on the road, and are freaking lazy to pay any attention when your parents are busy chauffering you around.

2 ) One who seldom drives

3 ) Seriously stupid

:D This is among the few natural phenomenon on the road in Malaysia. There are lots of others!

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This is a short post about Grandma Chronicles.

My grandmother's sense of humour still exists despite her age. There was this night, she woke up at 10pm. She slept at 7.30pm by the way.

So she called me. *in Hokkien*

"I want eat peanuts."

I was like.. 'where got peanuts.'

But being the nice guy I was, I said 'Ah ma don't worry, I go and buy now'.

At 10pm, all the shops were closed. So I pusing pusing around town until I finally found a shop. And bought a packet of peanuts.

When I reached home, she was there waiting. When I passed it to her..

"I don't feel like eating already."

WTF

Another occasion was I told her I was going NS.

"Ah Ma, I am going to become a soldier."
"OKAY GOOD! You go there become a commander come back with good name."
"Orh.."

Then the maid came along..
"Ah Ma I also want go!"
"OKAY GOOD! You go there also become good commander then don't come back."

WTF

My grandmother was saying about how she feels insecure because she has no money on her.

"You know one bowl of rice how expensive or not?"

Then she continued..

"Work all your life to buy a bowl of rice every meal. Then when you are old go find one river jump in BOOM! and your life ends."

I was like.. '_'

She actually made sense.

Alright, that's all. Now I am going to have an early rest. Tomorrow going KL woohoo!

SPM IS FINALLY OVER~!!!

First and foremost..

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!!!

Haha very lame. It is proven during SPM that I am allergic to exams. I HAD FEVER THREE TIMES IN A WEEK!! No I don't think its dengue.

Expected Targeted Results :

10As.

7/8 A1s. 2/3 A2s.

I am not setting my hopes too high. I will be happy if I get all As. I am pretty confident of 7 subjects, with the exception of Moral Ed., Biology and Chemistry. But I am confident I can get at least an A2.

I heard from friends that we're getting our results on the 28th of February. That means I'll be getting my results in NS camp. Wtf!! Oh well.. can always visit school after NS xD

And so a chapter of my life has come to an end.

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Just watched James Bond with two friends and a fiend last night. Maybe make it three fiends. Zhi Wei, Heng Leng and Yee Yong. Zhi Wei couldn't stop bullshitting the entire hour-and-half before the movie until the movie. Heng Leng's phone kept ringing during the movie and he went to toilet god-knows-how-many-times. And Yee Yong's mind can never stop spinning. He keeps asking why why why when watching the movie. And I am watching Happy Feet with them later!

On to what I think about James Bond : Casino Royale. Its pretty good.

Its the best Bond movie I have ever watched. (*that's cause its the only one I remember watching*)

Girls were hot. Daniel Craig had nice blue eyes. And the way he messed up everything and in the end turned out he was right was way cool xD He has a good style of saying 'fucker-classified' stuff.

Vesper Lynd : *something something - don't fall in love with me or something* lol i can't remember xD
James Bond : That's ok. You're not my type.
Vesper Lynd : Smart?
James Bond : Single.

The girl who played Vesper Lynd was Eva Green! I was wondering why the hell she looked so damn familiar to me. I have seen her act in Kingdom of Heaven! That is why! I am terrible at remembering actors. Well, maybe some actresses as well xD

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I bought Eragon the Game for PS2. It was not at all that disappointing. But though it tends to get quite monotonous. But its quite nice. Really :)

I finished reading Eragon and Eldest in 3 days during SPM period. I know I was supposed to be studying xD But hey come on lar.. Eragon vs. Text book. Its pretty obvious which will have a greater hold on me. Eragon is 600 pages. Text book also 600 pages. The only difference is I won't feel hungry after reading Eragon. And I won't fall asleep while reading as well.

I have checked out the movie. No I haven't watched it. But just checked it on the net. Apparently there's lots of newbie actors. But I saw the trailer, it looks quite promising. Though somewhere on the net some people mentioned that they hacked the plot apart. Aaargghh! Destroying a good story just to save millions is a crime to all penguins!

Irrationally, wouldn't it be better to pour in a couple of extra millions and a bit of time so that all the reviews turn out to be orgasmic and hit box office for 6 months straight?

At least Lord of The Rings wasn't too disappointing.

In Eragon, OMG WTF Rachel Weisz is Saphira!! How can they put such a hot girl as a dragon!!!????? Considering its a dragon, that means she will be voicing it!!!! DAMN! They should hire her as Arya!! I don't think the current Arya is hot enough. Personal preferences. Don't start hurling fireballs or eggs on fire at me. Rachel Weisz is so much hotter.

In case you do not know who she is, she acted as Angela in Constantine. If you still don't know, you're fucked. Go watch some movies. :P

My movie count is pathetic compared to my friends.

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If there's nothing I hate more, it is having to lend other people my prized story books. Yeah I know, at around RM32 - RM64 each, its not that expensive to you rich brats out there. But they are MY storybooks. My Precious. I distrust everyone when it comes to storybooks.

Not to mention I lent it to a friend, he refused to return me. Said he was at the last chapter of the story and he will not read the last chapter UNTIL the fourth book is published, which the author is currently still working on it. WTF MAN!! WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?? Its at least a year or two wait. Who the hell reads a book until the very last chapter then stops just so that he/she can read the last chapter when the sequel book comes out?

And also they tend to come back folded, scribbled and stuff. Hello? THOSE ARE MY BABIES!! I am passionate towards them!!

Erm what was it I wanted to say again? I forgot amidst my sudden outburst.

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Now that SPM is officially over. These are my plans until after NS.

December
9th - 13th : Go KL find friends.
18th - 26th : Go Singapore and knock a fortune out of my bro. Its prob the last chance I deal such a financial blow to him anyway.
28th - 31st : Go KL again. My cousin's getting married on the 30th.

Jan 1st - March 11th : NS in Masjid Tanah, Malacca. My dad says its by the seaside o_O

In between, I hope I get some good books to read. I have more books at home than the books at the local bookstore. That's how pathetic it is. I always have to travel to at least JB or Malacca to buy a decent storybook to read.

Yeah, I have 11 books of The Wheel of Time, 9 books of The Sword of Truth to mention the least. And I TRAVELED TO THEM BIG CITIES TO BUY THEM ONE AT A TIME!??? That's at least 20 times man! WTF!

But what to do? My aunt says the range of the books sold is depending on the consumers. Where there are many readers, there are many books. Which means... I am probably the only one in Batu Pahat who reads story book for leisure. Haha xD

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The world is going to the dogs. Literally. Corruption is still rampant among authorities in Malaysia ( In Chinese they are called 'dog officers' which means corrupt officers ).

We had friendster. Now we have dogster.

In China, people actually hold a funeral for their pet dogs that had died.

You know you're screwed when some dogs wear nicer clothes than you.

Criminals getting away by taking a dog a hostage?? ( Ok, that is my imagination. But we never know do we? )

The next thing you know? Some American Prez ( or maybe even Malaysia xD But since our people seems to love cats more.. ) in the future couldn't make it to a conference and sent his dog as his official representative instead.

Just wait. When the penguins come.... then we will know.

Adopt a Mat Rempit

Saw this on kennysia.com.

Picture from the same source. Sorry for taking pictures from another blog xD Just feeling lazy. But a bit odd though, I didn't seem to see this report in NST. Dang should have been a bit more hardworking and go out to buy Star.

Anyway.. asking ministers to adopt a Mat Rempit so that they will be guided towards a better life.

If you consider his proposition, it makes quite a bit of sense. Considering the fact that these Mat Rempits usually (not all, note that) learn these stuff through their friends and lack of parental guidance. Ministers could coach them! Coached by a minister!!

Sorry John Kam xD Your picture does look like you are being enlightened by a holy light of sorts. If you think he is handsome.. check out their group! Djunglepeople

Ah back to the subject. It is no easy task, shows that the minister is ready to sacrifice lots of time and effort for the nation. He should be praised!!

Why is everybody at Kennysia.com laughing at them??

Yeah yeah, ministers nowaday seems to have a bad reputation.

1 ) Building fairytale castles without permission ( 'Others can do it why not me?' )

2 ) Over-adrenaline-drive in meetings ( hey they meant well, don't take it personally )

3 ) Blaming women for being victims of sexual-related crimes ( i did mention it before )

4 ) Laughable remarks all the time though they really meant it..

Yeah that's just a couple of examples. Now this minister has taken a better approach. He believes that will work for Mat Rempits.

Come on lar... as if these Mat Rempits will come with open arms and smile at you and say 'ADOPT ME!!!'

This picture is meant as a joke. Three retards. Don't mind it too much. Consider it as a visual-stimulant ( not sexual stimulant!!!! I know we're handsome )

Adoption basically goes two ways since it involves two parties. It has to be accepted by both parties. Mat Rempits are not kids. They are full grown adolescents. Though their mental mind begs to differ, but yes they are old enough to take care of themselves.

So, this is a suggestion. Why not we follow the minister's advice?

Yeah, what I mean is, we can also use this on our ministers!!! Adopt-a-minister. So that they will not be so stressed all the time and start suggestion exagerrated stuff. They can be guided so that they will not stray from being realistic.

Or maybe its just me ( and many more people ) unable to accept such stuff from leaders.

But then.. :) After all.. Malaysia Boleh!

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NS alert! NS alert! I am being sent to Masjid Tanah, Malacca for NS. Starting from 1st january 2007 to 11th March 2007. Now who was it that said it was to be 3 months?? Its 2 months and a week! And oh yeah, minus a week from that for CNY holidays. 2 months.

4 weeks spent on physical training. Wtf..

Bee is being sent to Miri! SERIOUS OR NOT??? Wahlau I missed Miri. I like Sarawak a lot. Lots of greenery there.

A couple of friends were posted for third group. That's somewhere around.. June. My aunt says they will most probably be able to skip NS.

Why?

June, Form 6 starts already. Not to mention some of them are thinking of joining the January or March intake for colleges. There'll be lots of evading, excuses, cat-and-mouse game, police catch thief, jail for school students and all.

Funny the way we plan things.

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I dedicate a special small part for our local political party here. PAS.

Seriously, Nik Aziz never fails to amuse me. :) I don't mean to be disrespectful.. but.. well..

Here's something he said before.

"Women should always sing lullaby to their husband. This is so that the husband will sleep well and wake up a happy man. A happy man will be a productive man."

Something like that. Can't remember his exact words. There were more strange and funny stuff from him, but I can't really remember.

And currently, the latest news about him. Again, my memory fails me. I can't remember the date when I saw it in the newspaper, but here goes :)

Nik Aziz - "We should consider employing more women who are not that good looking rather than employing women who are good looking. This is because pretty women tend to get married earlier and be tied down with family affairs. On the other hand, women who do not look so good can focus on their work more easily."

Hello? Does the word physical discrimination mean anything? You are a religious and political leader for Gods sake. Malaysia is a country where individual quality is what enables us to achieve success, not because we look ugly.

Note : Success here in this context means landing a job.

The next thing you know? Suggestions like 'Ugly men should not work because they are not happy as they do not have wives to satisfy their needs.'.. might abound anytime.

Am I glad Johor is not under PAS. Can't imagine life working in the office without attractive co-workers for occasional distraction xD

Again I say, Malaysia Boleh :D

New Update

Recently the world's been pretty much at unease. Mostly, people go nuts about sex related stuff.

Porn stars fighting with movie stars for post of governor...

Religious leaders fighting with people because he blamed women for being raped....

Stupid Malaysian Ministers saying women dress sexily even though they covered up themselves like a Chinese Bak Zhang ( rice dumpling )..

What else? No, I am not going to criticize anybody. A picture is worth a thousand words. Observe.Well... If men have the ability to give birth... that's gotta hurt man.

Well, if those leaders, religious or not.. are actually able to be impregnated or raped.. perhaps they might have a different view :)

Of course there is reason to their point of view. What they are suggesting is that when women are too revealing, they might cause any random guy to harden and ultimately lead to their kena rape. That is justified, and quite possible if you think about it.

But the thing is.. it does happen. But, the probability of that being the cause is extremely low.

Come on lar.. girls as young as 3 are sodomized and raped. WHAT FIGURE DO THEY HAVE???
God they don't even have boobs yet.

Let's just face it. Some guys are just perverted. And the fact that there are women who willingly get naked and do wicked stuff while being filmed does not help.

Fortunately for them, this is not the ancient Chinese Dynasty Era. They would be castrated immediately.

Say.. that's not a bad idea even now eh? If you're suggesting we give rapists a second chance, to be fair, is it possible for the victim to have a second chance?

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Serene once asked me..

"What is your dream?"

We all have dreams. Become a doctor to earn money while helping people, become this become that. Well, some maybe 'have sex before I die'. Hey include me!

So I gave her question some thought.

"I want to experience every single thing in the world."

Become a doctor. A beggar. A baker. Know every single thing in the world. Been there, done that. Rapist. Raped. Drug addict. Policeman. FBI CIA FUCK whatever whatever. yeah I mean literally everything. Everything ever imagined.

But unfortunately I have only a lifetime, and who knows it might not even be a hundred years. 17 of it is spent in Malaysia. Learning how stupid people can be at times. Learning how there is hope for humans after all when I come across angels without wings. Valuable experience is obtained. But never enough.

That is my dream. Is there a possibility that I might be reincarnated with my memories intact infinite times? I would be the all-knowing wise sage.

People would come.. " I caught this 100 foot godzilla last night at the pond.. "

I would laugh at them and say " Done that in my 3rd lifetime. "

I know. I am such a fucker.

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SPM issues. 4 papers down ( BM, BI, MM, SEJ ).

Gonna have a 'BBQ' party soon. Guess what will be the 'charcoal'?

You guessed right! Notes, books.. everything! Everything will be burned!

Probably not. I have so much of these notes, I probably can get RM 30 recycling them. Saves the Earth as well.

As for now, Pretty confident that I have 5 As ( including EST ) in hand now. But who knows, they might decide they don't like my I.C. number and decided to fuck up my results xD

Yes I know, its very easy to blame others.

Su Lynn's birthday was on 20th November. I wished her happy birthday. What she replied was

"You are definitely getting straight 1As for SPM because I am going to wish for that for my birthday."

Damnit, I am so aroused now.

SPM!!

Alright! SPM is finally here!! Time to kick balls!!

Wish me luck guys!! Damnit MCR is stirring me into a bloodfrenzy!! DEATH TO SPM!!

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Here's some interesting stuff for you to think about. While chatting on MSN with Anjulie.. we discovered something interesting.

As we all know, Amoebas are asexuals. They reproduce by splitting themselves into two.

So.. do we use the term 'divide' or 'multiply' in this case?

E.g. - Amoebas Multiply
- Amoebas Divide

Go figure xD

Screwed!

Professor Leslie is back again with helpful tips!

Today's topic is : Addmaths.

You know you are screwed in add maths when.....


1 ) You have absolutely no idea which chapter the question belongs to.

2 ) The question asks for a coordinate of a certain point. Somehow you end up with a locus equation. [ Simple answer for a coordinate would be ( 1 , 2 ). Simple answer for a locus equation would be x² + x + y² + y + 1 ( something like that larr.. )]

3 ) The answer you get is 20,000. But the answer given is 2.

4 ) You start binge-eating on Pringles Potato Chips®5 ) You bang your table uncontrollably.

6 ) You worry about your exam and you worry you might see this :

7 ) You spend half an hour on a single question ( no kidding, it happens )

8 ) You get 6 different answers for 6 attempts to solve a question

9 ) You get 8 different values for a CONSTANT

Symptoms above quite familiar to form 4, 5 and possibly 6 students? Get help now!!

Buy screwdrivers man!! They help you get screwed up in Mathematics faster!!

P/S : I found the screwdriver picture from a weird site. Its called Alibaba.com. The screwdrivers are 'Made in China'. lol

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My grandma's acting weird again.

This morning she just suddenly cried. When my aunt asked her why.. she was....

"I received a letter this morning. My father just died."

Well.. she's 87. For great-grandfather to be alive, he would have to be at least 105. Which unfortunately he did not live that long.

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I just bought a new book from the bookstore!

Its called 'The Inheritance Series', which consists of 2 books, Eragon and Eldest. Cost ( my brother ) RM100. Haha, finally managed to knock some money out of him for something I want.


Only 100 pages into the book and I am already hooked. Damn it man!! SPM SPM SPM!!!!!!!!!


I swear I am going to devour this book after SPM.

And the last time I went to Singapore ( that was in October, which was last month ) I saw posters everywhere advertising 'Eragon' the movie. WHY THE FUCK IS NOTHING GOING ON ABOUT ERAGON IN BATU PAHAT??????????????????????????????????

For people who genuinely loved epics like 'Lord of The Rings', 'Wheel of Time' and none of that Harry Potter shit, you might try this book. The beginning's a little like 'Wheel of Time - The Eye of the World ( book 1 )'.

Will give this book a proper rating after I have finished everything.

Hmm.. what have I read so far? Complete with my feelings for the book. ( Scale of 10 )

Lord of The Rings ( Include Hobbit and the 3 books ) - Well, what can I say? 9!!
Wheel of Time ( Book 1 -10 and 'New Spring' ) - Captivating. Overall 8½
Sophie's World ( My personal favourite of knowledge-based books ) - 8½
Old World trilogy ( Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen ) - Great book. 8
Dark Materials trilogy - Running out of complimentary words. 8
Sword of Truth ( 10 Books ) - Pretty good. Overall 7½
Emperor ( Fictional biography of Julius Caesar ) - Nice! 7½
Chronicles of Narnia ( all 7 books ) - 6
Harry Potter ( Bleh.. I don't like. I don't understand why its so popular. The first book was ok, but it began going downhill.. ) - 6½
Angels & Demons + Da Vinci Code ( it was fine.. ) - 6½

That's about the list of series as far as I can remember. I would like to proclaim myself a heavy reader.. there's an entire list of single-books-that-aren't-series that I can't remember their titles. Need some time to sort out my books. I love reading... it induces a mild orgasm as I flip through the pages. No serotonin though. Its rather a kind of unnatural orgasm-ic feeling xD Avid readers can understand what I mean.

Please note : The above mentioned score is given based on my own opinion. You have no obligation to start flaming me and going like 'Wh@+ Y0U $0 $+upEEd |-|@RrY P0++Er Ee$ $uCh a GrE@t B0ok.' You don't have to type like that. It annoys me. But that's the furthest it goes. A mere annoyance. A fly that I shall swat.

Look, not everyone likes something that is popular ok??

Back to Add Maths. I am so screwed xD

Da Picta

You guys know.. sometimes in life.. we just gotta do something stupid.

But what's cooler would be other people doing stupider stuff when you are doing stupid stuff.

High School life ( unless I have to go form 6 ) ended pretty well. The last day of school totally totalled me totalifically and made me totalitarian ( whatever the fuck is that ).

Well for starters.....

Most of the ex-Montfort boys got together and took this photo in my class. DON'T EVEN ASK ME WHAT AH BENG WAS GESTURING!!! And that blardy fook Elwin blocked my face!!

Guys for sale. No refund! Once broken considered sold. Buy 1 Free 1. If premium quality, 1 for the price of 2. If fucker quality, 12 for the price of 1. All virgins no problem ( I think.. )!


This would be the fucker gang.

Back row from left :
Seek Guan - The fucker who always acts damn cool. Quiet most of the time. But when he opens his mouth, you feel the sting. Damn diao.. I think I call him the 'Diao' Fucker.

Wee Kwong - Fucker who cannot smile. Ruins every picture with him in it.

Zhi Wei - What can I say? Fucker. Period.

Heng Leng - Bitch Fight expert even though he's a gay. Eeer.. I mean Guy.

Yee Yong - Chicken Little. He seriously looks like Chicken Little.

Bottom row from left :

Yours truly - I seriously don't know what to say for myself. I am such a fucker.

Christopher - Impossible. Everything impossible. Everything won't happen. Everything also 'I DIAO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Conclusion : Impossible to fuck.

This is my Moral Ed Tuition Teacher, Mr Koh C.S!! Further introduction please refer to the photo below!

I missed taking photo with my other tuition teachers and some school teachers. Hope I get to meet them again. My tuition teachers are better than school teachers ( except moral ed. They are equally good ) But because I suck at being a moral person, I need tuition. Result? No improvement.

Well, why? You ask, is the smiley face in the laptop a fucker?

I also don't know. That smile just looks like it fits the definition of 'fucker' to me.

Oh gawrsh, how many words of 'fuck' did I use in this post?

Priceless.

More pictures coming. Takes a week to burn into a CD. Bloody hell, have to wait so long.

Though the next picture fest would be mostly of me with girls. Since all these with guys are already up... the nice ones anyway....

I won't be declaring hiatus. It is not me. It just ain't me. I shall do whatever I want. SPM come you may, LIM PEH SHALL BE PREPARED TO KICK YOUR BALLS ( if you even have them ).

Short post.. then again maybe no

Following the severe attacks by Julie and Aimee, I have been left emotionally scarred xD.

But then, I have never bothered. Because I am too lazy to be emotionally scarred.

I hereby say that, I am stopping sexual jokes for a while.

Admit it people, you laughed at the pear post below.

Alright, on to the post.

My grandmother said the cutest thing today.

Grandma : You go outside and keep watch for me ok?
Me : Wtf? What for??
Grandma : We came here illegally. Wait police come tell me then we run.
Me : Okay no problem. I go outside ar... *runs away*

She still thinks we are in Indonesia. And it didn't help that my aunt employed an Indonesian maid to look after her. Now my grandma thinks we're the ones who came to stay with the maid, and this house belongs to the maid.

Talk about role reversal.

SPM is coming. And I am not feeling anxious. At all.

Been watching school debates. Apparently, the lower six science one class ( 40 students. only around 9 boys and an idiot. wtf ) has been forced by Mr. Diva to participate in ELS's debate competition, which registered only 8 teams before they joined. Out of the 8, 2 pulled out. Leaving only 6. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.

And today, I watched the funniest debate match ever. Two lower six science one teams ( 6 girls and an idiot ). Zhi Wei was the adjudicator ( educator ).

You know why it's funny?

Both sides wanted to lose.

And they planned out the entire debate.

Such as when to POI, what to answer the POI, they read out word by word the script of their friend who debated before them including the mistakes which stood out very obviously....

And the idiot is the best part. He did not participate, because according to Mr. Diva, nobody wanted him. So, he was simply dumped as a reserve in a randomly chosen team.

So I kept yelling at him 'OI! YOUR TURN YOUR TURN!!' just to be an asshole to the idiot.

And the idiot says he wants to lose the first round. ( As if he could win even if he tried his best -__-" )

I know I am a jerk for calling him idiot.

But truth be told, an idiot is an idiot.

So, while the two teams were reading out what they rehearsed... this idiot was there telling me.

"I was the one who planned everything. Even the POIs also I think one. They planned out the entire thing with my help *brag brag brag*"

And while my juniors were training a new guy to play scrabble so that he could join the scrabble team, this idiot go kacau. He kept making moves for the new guy.

Here are the good tiles he ( the new guy ) had.

M O D A something something something

And what he did was.. he made the word 'mow'. ....3 1 4, 8 marks.

I took a look. Took the tiles back, and put AD elsewhere to form a 2x2 square, blocking around four openings and took a double word score for two words.

And I got more than 12 marks. I stared at him. He stared back.

Then he said to me.

"I forgot."

Mofo..

My Precious......

Just you and me tonight my baby....

The sight of you fills an emptiness in me. I am aroused whenever I set my eyes on you..

Yes, yes!!! I love the sight of your body! Your perfect curves.. your tender flesh... your smooth skin... you are oh so slender!

I shall savour every moment with you! *SLURP!*

I love it when I get to bathe you in clear crystal water...

You shall satisfy my deepest darkest desire now!!

Now come.......................

Let us proceed to perform a physical exerting activity amidst loud sounds of pleasure, moanings and groanings!

*
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*****
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My Pear.........................

Grandma

My grandma's seriously beginning to freak me out. She's 87, I repeat, 87. I have been living with her for around 12 years. And today, she called me when she saw me. Below is our conversation, in Hokkien. But I shall translate it.

grandma - G
Me - L

G : When did you come? Why didn't call me?
L : *Wtf* I have been living with you for close to ten years ah ma....
G : Ooorrhhh....

*Moment of silence*

G : Who is your father??
L : *WTF* My father is Charlie lar! Your son ah ma.. 4th son!!
G : Ooooorrhh...

*Moment of silence*

G : Why your father so fast die???
L : AHHHHHH CHOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOUCH WOOD TOUCH WOOD! HAVEN'T DIE!!
G : Haven't die ar???? Oooorrrrhhh...

*Moment of silence*

G : Where are you siblings? Die or not yet???
L : *WTF* NOT YET!!!!! My brother in Singapore now ah ma.. he just got married. You went to his wedding dinner..
G : No lar.. I didn't go. Your aunt everything also didn't tell me. Sometimes I think also want to cry.
L : *-_____-"""""*

She really cried. Fuck.

G : Your father also really ar... why marry a mistress??
L : Har??? Mistress?????? *WTF*
G : Yalar.. that young woman living with us. Got a baby somemore...
L : Ah ma.. that one is Ah Siang's wife. Your granddaughter-in-law lar.... baby is your great-grandson.
G : Ooorrhhh.....

L : *Pek Chek. Why liddat?*

G : I want to go back to Batu Pahat...
L : Here is Batu Pahat.
G : Nonsense!! I don't believe you.
L : *wtf*

If these are not signs of dementia/senility or whatever you call it... what shall I do??

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I seriously can't stand Tmnet @ streamyx these few days. I think I rename it as 'Steamyx'.

Why?

With these kind of connection....

They sure are making government's efforts come true.

I can't even open a browser webpage at times, and other times it takes forever to load.

So how are the rakyat going to download porn -____-""" All bullshit lar.

No, I do not watch porn.

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Recently some wiseguy said 'Bahasa Rojak sucks' and say want to fine RM1000 to billboards and signboards with BR.

The fuck is their problem.

Go open the 'Kamus Dewan'. Flip through the entire dictionary. HOW MANY WORDS COME FROM ENGLISH???????????????????????????????????

And then there is the idea of direct translation.

Section - Seksyen
Television - televisyen
Population - Populasi
Insulation - Insulasi

So.......

Masturbation is what? Masturbasi or Masturbasyen??

Turn on TV3 and watch the news. Listen to the people they interview.

"Tak lar JAM sangat.. tadi ada ACCIDENT.. tapi nak balik agak SMOOTH lar.."

Its going to take forever to crush out bahasa rojak. Its a sign of multicultural society. It happens when one is shitty in both languages, mixed together only can talk smoothly. Because some words are hard to be spoken in English, and same goes for bahasa, so people mix them. Simple.

Come on lar.. RM1000 fine?? Traffic offense the most also RM300. And at times it involves a human life. You guys can't even decide on an appropriate punishment. And you people were the ones who introduced 'MyKad' and such.
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Current plan for post-SPM adventures.

6-11th December - Go KL, if got time I want go Kuala Gandah!!
19th/20th - around 27th December - Go S'pore

After that... most prob NS. Then apply to study everywhere.

Then fuck.

I don't know what's going to happen man.

Anybody from those two places wanna meet up?? Get the form from me :D 'Sila isi borang' lol
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Remember what I said about something screwed up with friendster?

It happened again.

First, I couldn't log in. No idea why. Then I had to copy-paste my password and email, then I got in. Funny, I typed in correctly for 20 times also cannot login.

Then, I have 6 guys requesting to be my friends.

6!

It was 5!!!!

DAMN IT PEOPLE I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I know prob they are trying to be friendly. But in friendster, I do not add people whom I do not know. Because friendster's there for me to keep in touch with people I know!!

I know I do not look feminine, only very masculine. That could only mean those 6 guys are
1 ) Admirers
2 ) Gay
3 ) The usual fuckers who go 'I know you but you dunno me'

Sick... ugh.....
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Whatever is wrong with Blogger. Too full is it..... observe..

Crap.

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That's all for now. Buai :D

Welcome

Everybody get the new Album by My Chemical Romance! I don't care how you get it, legally ( which means a lot of $$ ) or illegally ( which means minimum $$ or none at all ). By hook or by crrrrroooookkk, you gotta listen to it. Wait, provided you like MCR.

But then, MCR cannot be as depressing as Evanescence. I don't know, probably cause they are more... like.. uh.. how do you say that? Punk? Aaah, they reek of energy xD Evanescence has Amy Lee. She has a very nice voice, one that is suitable for dark depressing songs.

Alright, so far. I have chosen out a few that can really make you feel high. They are...

1. Mama
2. Hidden track ( This is a very cute song. Damn strange )
3. Sleep
4. Cancer

And the others are great!

Note : This review is entirely personal and is responsible to no one but myself. Read at your own risk. Especially Aimee ( Whom I am definitely not marrying ).
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Oh and here's a funny thing going round around my house. My cousin brought down his PS 2 from upstairs ( YAY! TIME TO PLAY FF9!! SPM SUCKS! W00t! )

So his two daughters ( my nieces ) and a cousin began playing. Note : Age between 6-9.

So they began playing Dead or Alive 2. DOA!?? Reminds me of the movie I watched recently.

So.. they began playing. Damn funneh.

My eldest niece ( Age 8+ )
Loses all the time. She suck. But she can lose gracefully. Probably comes with age.

Moral of the story : My niece has no gaming cells. Disgrace to the family :P

My cousin ( Age 7+++ )
Loses everytime. She suck.
But when I play with her just to humour her...
I am the right side fighter. She is the left side.

When I let her win, she jumps and yells "Yeah.. I won!!"
When I win, she stands up and yells. "YAY!!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And I sit there going *wtf*

Moral of the story : When dealing with kids, Whatever the odds, you always lose.

My younger niece ( Age 6+++ )
Always win. And each time she plays, she gets so agitated, she stands up and starts jumping around and yelling 'Haiyah! Hoah! Wataaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!" then pulling the joypad. Is that a victory dance or what???

This afternoon, I was eating. She yelled at me.

"I always win!!!!! Hahaha! I use what also win!!!!!!!!!!!"

So I was like.. this girl is getting arrogant.

"Come fight me lar... haha" I said.

"COME LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NOT SCARED YOU!!!!!!!!!" came the loud reply.

She's a girl in case you didn't realize.

So I sat down and took a joypad. Chose random for the five matches I played against her.

Beat the crap out of her 5 times out of 5. She's 6 I am 17 what do you expect?

She goes like, "YOU CHEAT!!!!!! NO FAIR!!!!!!!!! *Pulls controller out of the PS II*"

Moral of the story : Never deflate an underaged balloon.

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Holidaze is coming to an end! I am finishing my biology!! Wheeeee~~ time to move on to Chem + History!

Damn, I hope I manage to cover it all before SPM comes.

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To friends staying in KL and S'pore. Expect me there immediately after SPM. Do contact me if you wanna meet up, specially BRATs! If you don't have my contact number, worship me and beg for it. I might feel you deserve it.

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whaddayaknow? Making lines are fun xD

Okay, just a minor update.. or maybe not

First and foremost, lemme bring to your attention something very screwed up about my friendster.

I mean, its like.. Am I attracting guys or what?? Look, I hereby announce.. I AM NOT GAY!!! In fact, I already have a girl whom I am interested in. So guys.. don't get the wrong idea man. I won't be your regular 18 year old handsome stripper. Not for any price, unless its around 12 digits without decimal points. *sighs* Why can't it ever be... 5 hot girls? I have put those guys on hold for how long?? I think around 6 months.

One particular guy freaks me out the most.

He adds me on MSN.

Then strikes a chat with me.

I shall name him 'X' and myself 'H' ( H for handsome )

X : Hi
H : Hi
X : Who are you?
H : What the fuck.. you the one who added me
X : I am X
H : And how the fuck did you get my email address?
X : Oh, a friend send forwarded email. I saw yours among the list and added you.
H : *wtf*
X : I think I know you, I also a High School boy.
H : I think I don't know you even though I am a High School boy.
X : But I now in Singapore
H : *wtf*

So what did i do? Blocked him, deleted him and every mail he sends me gets reported as spam. Then he adds me in friendster. I rejected. He add again. I reject again. He add again. Leave him be larrr... let him be on the waiting list.

I mean, look..

I look so handsome beside my good friend, triple H. Yeah, if you think far enough, I think you are probably right. My bro everyday reminds me that I am 'Nobita'. Neeehh.. that Doraemon punyak stupid kid who always gets bullied and cry that Nobita. Just that.. I am a handsome version and is the asshole instead of the bullied one.

In case you are wondering.. according to my mum, I rarely cried when I was a toddler. SO, when I was at the age of 5-10, I tried to compensate for all the trouble I did not cause when I was a toddler. I call it the 'Zaman Tangisan' or 'Crying Era'. yesh, I was a crybaby that time. But no more. After my brother knocked out two of my front teeth when we were play acting 'Street Fighter' and he was doing a 'Ho yu-ken' and sent me flying away with two teethtailing my feet.

So once again I stress, I AM NOT GAY!!!! Ladies, queue up please :P

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On to other stuff. You guys( Oh wait, LADIES!! ) might be interested in a little conversation between zhi wei and me. Two totally whacked people studying for SPM. Stress does this you see..

خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
fucker
[Leslie] says:
YES LAR
[Leslie] says:
but i am not doing
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
dunno
[Leslie] says:
if i can still stay awake after blogging
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
[Leslie] says:
the wine i had is knocking me out

[Leslie] says:
which part of it don't you understand
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
my Mum's birthday celebration
[Leslie] says:
i always feel sleepy after wine
[Leslie] says:
even if its a cup
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
z
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
a
[Leslie] says:
b
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
c
[Leslie] says:
d
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
e
[Leslie] says:
f
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
g
[Leslie] says:
h
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
i
[Leslie] says:
j
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
k
[Leslie] says:
l
[Leslie] says:
m
[Leslie] says:
n
[Leslie] says:
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
o
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
p
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
q
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
r
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
s
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
t
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
u
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
v
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
w
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
x
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Leslie] says:
Y
[Leslie] says:
WHOOOOOOOOO
[Leslie] says:
26 alphabets named

Don't even think!!

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Today I totally whacked my Biology teacher. She just obtained her Masters.

So I was reading Biology. About parameciums.. about tissues. So I just had this sudden idea that struck me like.. an orgasm?

Fact : Parameciums reproduce by 'pembelahan dedua', whatever it is called. Asexual reproduction ( ewww.. no fun ) anyway.

Fact : That only happens when the condition is suitable with ample food supply and such.

Fact : When the condition is unsuitable, they conjugate ( aaah, yesss.. )

But wait... *studies Paramecium sp. cell structure*

HOW THE HELL DO THEY CONJUGATE WITHOUT SEXUAL ORGANS??????? Okay, its organel.

So I asked teacher.

She said..

"Two parameciums stick their posterior ( meaning, their ass ) together and then a duct connects both of them where they exchange nucleus and information and stuff.."

So I began thinking. Where does the baby come from then??

Teacher got whacked. She also began thinking. No idea, she has to look it up. She thinks no babies are produced in the reproduction process.

And me? WHAT THE FUCK??? They get to fuck without having babies!!!

Fact 2 : Tissues are a group of similiar cells doing the same function. Not tissue paper you retard.

Fact 2 : Organs are a group of different kinds of tissues doing a specific function. E.g Heart.

Fact 2 : A million nefrons makes up the filtering system of a kidney.

Fact 2 : A nefron is made up of multiple kinds of tissues.

My question is : Is a nefron an organ or a tissue?

Teacher : I think its more towards a tissue...
Me : But there are multiple kinds of tissues performing a specific task!
Teacher : Yahor, maybe its an organ.. nono, its not an organ.
Me : But it forms the kidney organ!
Teacher : *whacked*

In the end, teacher tells me it is classified under a 'unit'. Means, the entire nefron, though made up of multiple tissues, is considered an entire cell or something I didn't really understand properly. I was whacked myself..

Don't get me wrong. My teacher is not ignorant. She is brilliant. Its always up to me to pop up weird questions. What to do.. I always think out of the box.. especially when it comes to reproduction and sex. Now why did I say that for..

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Won't update so frequently now. COnsidering SPM is about a month away, and I have just began CRAP scanning Biology and SHIT theraphy for my Add Maths, I seriously have lots to catch up. And anyway, since I will be so busy performing 'Information diffusion' with my text books, hopefully they will diffuse into my brain while I use them as my pillow to snooze while I am supposed to be studying. Nothing much interesting will happen.

I hereby formally declare my life ending again. Time to revert to robot mode.

All's well ends well

What a way to start my day.

First, I wake up to be informed my grandmother had a fall and has to be sent to the hospital.

Then, after a series of rushing, informing and shit, me and my aunt went off to buy lunch.

She came home and said, " I lost my wallet. Inside got IC + credit cards. Basically everything inside. "

And when I was driving, one fucking fucker motorcyclist came from nowhere and i was going at 65. Almost beat the crap out of him.

Then I suddenly realized its already 4.30pm. wtf have to do homework. Then get stupid fucking headache.

Before I even realize it, its already 6pm. Time to buy dinner for grandma. She's been hospitalised.

And now here I am. Whole day gone suddenly.

All's well ends well.

Grandma had no serious injury.
My aunt lodged a police report, and cancelled all her credit cards. Then come back and found her purse. =/
I did not beat the crap out of anybody. Though at times I wish to beat the crap out of zhi wei cause he is so fucking annoying in MSN. :P

And nothing annoys me more than a fucked up connection.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Observe.

And I can't get the photo up. What the fuck........

Zee Phawtoes... Mashter..

First and foremost, my formal apologies to blogger. Its not blogger that screwed me up. Its the photos. I did not realize they were 25 inches each and saved in BMP file format, which adds up to 6MB per photo. That means it takes practically forever to upload it. The only thing screwed up is the tagboard.

This is me and my brother. In suits. People tell me we look identical. But then, honestly, I cannot really tell. I mean, me is me, my bro is my bro. I mean, come on lar... we know who is more handsome right?????????????????? RIGHT????????????????

Of course, in Batu Pahat and in Singapore, both places, when I stood at the reception desk without my brother.. well.. people just walk in..

Stranger(s) : Eh! Wee Lee! Congrats larr!! Finally your turn to get married!!
Me : *Wtf*........ Ah-haha-haha-haha, hehe, hehe *humours him* *then* I am not Wee Lee. I am his brother.
Stranger(s) : HAR???????? BROTHER????????????????


This is my immediate family.

Clockwise standing from left :
My sister's boyfriend-husband-soon-to-be, my sister, my sister-in-law, my brother, me, my father ( seated ), my grandma and my mother.

This is the new couple, with two young men and the family mei-nus.

From left to right :
Me, Sue Lynn, Ju Lie, Hsu Lin ( My sister lar -__-") Ee Lynn, Hua An.
Seated are my bro and his wife.

Guys, stop drooling o_O

That's my cousin standing there holding his son, my nephew.
I am seated in the middle with that meat bag as my nephew, left side is Yong Hwa, and right side is Hua An. All cousins o_O

This is my mum and her friend. They sang duet during my brother's wedding dinner in BP. Damn nice.. everyone was simply wtf-ed. Compared to the wedding in S'pore.. no entertainment syot. All eat only. Sien man...

Thisis my father with an unidentified man. My dad is the guy in red, or pink, whichever you see it as.

This is my grandmother and my aunt who brought me up. :)

This is my mum & Eing Ling. My mum kept ranting about how nice this photo is =/ Probably cause she took it with a hawt girl :D

Right, lazy to fix up other photos. Other photos not so nice also =/

On to another issue. My grandmother. Anybody knows any good way to 'melayan kerenah' old folks with senility and Alzheimer?

Situation : Well, we have been living in this house ever since we sold that old wooden house 3-4 years back. Grandma agreed that time, and signed her name to sell the plot of land.

This morning.. she woke up =/

And said this is Indonesia or somewhere. This is not our home she says. She wants to return to Batu Pahat. She said, we are all trying to cheat her. Who knows what she is thinking.

Then said she was not informed that her house was sold. She almost drove my aunt nuts xD to a level I never got to achieve.

Then, after I went to school and came back, my aunt told me..

"This morning your grandma left the house alone. She said she wanted to go back to Batu Pahat, back to her wooden house."

Woah, seriously wtf-ed. She is 87. She can barely walk. And she left the house alone empty handed without her tongkat, without her umbrella and walked several doors away o_O How the fuck did she do that??????

My mum thinks my grandmother is beginning to see 'things'. My mum seriously believes firmly those stuff. As for me, I think they exist, but its hard to prove they exist. And when people see 'things', according to my mum, its almost time they 'go'.

Mum said before her father passed away, he kept mentioning 'Guan Yin Ma' the Goddess of Mercy came and talked to him many times. And he also kept saying many long-past relatives came to visit him, bringing kids. o_O

Its up to you whether you think old people are imagining stuff, or it really happened.

Now my grandmother wakes up and says someone told her to wake up cause there is a needle in her bed poking her.

I wonder.............

More school stupid stuff

Yes. I have come to realize my school teachers have a talent for saying dumb stuff. And mostly they are man. And so far, they are all Malays o_O And they have a talent for making students do extra work.

Ever since my school's GPK koko passed away, we were without a teacher or senior assistant in charge of cocurriculum. So recently, because of Pertandingan Sekolah Cemerlang, which my school miraculously won for god-knows-how-many years, they simply elected a teacher to tidy up the cocurriculum reports. And he called us, US, we who have retired from our posts, back to fill in the spaces of what they initially told us 'Tak payah isi'. What the fuck man..

First one guy tells us to do it. A second guy comes along and says we did it differently. A third says it should be another way, and both the first were wrong. The fourth comes and say no need to do at all. And now, the fifth comes along and say must do. So I think altogether we have submitted the same reports like... 4 times? Maybe 5.

Anyway, back to the main point. Stupid things these Malay-men-teachers say. Don't think I am racist. Chinese-men-teachers are full of shit too. Some of them are even a bit sissified. That scares me.

This new teacher being charged of koko said, we must all fill in the report books. And apparently, he only had a few of these reports in his hands. That means many did not hand up. And this is what he says.

"Bagi yang ada buku, sila isi dan hantar selewat-lewatnya waktu rehat ( wtf ). Bagi yang tak ada buku, anda carilah di mana-mana saya pun tak tahu mana."

For those having difficulties understanding Malay language, its literal meaning is 'You find it wherever-I-do-not-know-where'

And again, my principal has made himself into a joke for students =/ He called us to start lecturing us about the trial exam results. 5Science1, my class did very well. And he just had to call everyone and scold the low achievers, which of course are only two or three.

So we sat there for like.. 30-40 minutes listening to him making a fool of himself. And he was being a total asshole. Lemme quote him on a few matters.

Principal scolding a few low achieving students.
"Awak tahu tak awak semua ini Jebon-Jebon ini yang memalukan sekolah?"

And we were like, wtf is Jebon-Jebon????? The fuck is the old man talking about?
So I asked a couple of my Malay friends. And yeah, I tried to find it in Kamus online, but no results.

Apparently "Jebon" is a Bigfoot-like monster in a Malay legend or something. =/

And then, furthermore...

Principal scolding a few low achieving students.
"Awak semua ini memalukan tahu tak? Tetapi hal ini bukan memalukan!"

You go figure. I never understood a single fucking word he says.

Principal scolding everyone with good grades for no apparent reason.
"Awak semua pelajar aliran Sains Tulen ini memalukan. Awak semua ambil aliran Sains, tetapi matapelajaran Sainslah yang paling banyak gagal. Contohnya, 5 S 1."

*Flips through analysis paper of my class*
*Gives a "Omg-wtf-nobody-failed-any-science-subjects-in-5S1"*

"Er.... 5 Sains 1 sangat baik."

This goes to show that, he knows nothing, or maybe a little fucking idea about the students' results.

Scold us for not going to class. Keep calling us away from class.

And then, I have a Malay friend. His name is Shafique. Some of you might know him as the first speaker for HSBP debate team. Anyway, he is taking Chinese paper for SPM. So the asshole principal is shocked. The Chinese teacher asked him to talk to the 15 students who are taking Chinese, but likes to skip class because she is such an asshole.

"Shafique???? Shafique awak ambil bahasa Cina? Awak ini Melayu tulen ker.. Melayu kocai?"

Fuck you lar. Malay take Chinese means not pure Malay ar? This is Malaysia. You guys are the ones saying equality for all races. And now you say this kind of fuck thing. =/ Its damn offensive towards Shafique.

I think they are screwed.

And regarding the Pertandingan Sekolah Cemerlang ( PSC ) I seriously doubt my school's victory. The entire year, the school is like shit. But when PSC comes along, the management starts forcing everyone to clean up the class, force us to buy fucking greeting cards ( WAJIB RM 6 YOU KNOW!!??? ) then use the money to 'beautify ( like shit ) the school and everything at the last moment. Then on the day the inspectors come along, the management warns us beforehand "No funny business or your ass will be imploded".

I don't think we deserve PSC. We deserve Oscar Acting Award more.

Tell me honestly, friends from other schools. Do we share the same fate in school? I am curious.

Photos galore!

Wheeeeeeeee! Well, 6 photos for now only. My sis gave me a camera with an 8MB memory card ( OMG WTF how screwed is that? 8MB!!! ) and the camera cannot zoom ( antique syott ).

For starters...

This is my bro, Willie Ng @ Ng Wee Lee, and his fiance Jesslyn... uh... oh fuck. I am such a failure. I don't even know my sis-in-law's full name. Aiyah, Jesslyn something lar!! Anyway, in case you have difficulty telling genders apart, the one on the left is my bro. Eh wait, I think my bro's the one on the right.

Anyway, this is the new couple pouring champagne after 'cutting' the cake. The cake is a fake. Hey that rhymes. Anyway, some kid asked my bro after he came down. "Can I have some cake?" and my bro was 'Wtf the cake is a fake' lol. Damnit, cake is a fake. That sounds so cool.

This is my mum. She actually wore a gown that looks so great on her, some of us ( includng me ) thinks my mum outshone the bride. Wtf. Anyway, my mum loves singing. And she can sing. So, on my bro's wedding, my mum presented a few songs. At the reception some of the guests thought my mum was the bride. Wtf. Some asked her, 'Jit gei si sin niu ah si lao niu?' *translation - This is the bride ( Sin Niu, pronounced in such a way it sounds like new cow ) or the old cow ( old cow as in lao niu, you get the point. )? Its in Hokkien btw.

My bro seated, being forced to drink Chivas Regal. I was so fucked up when my bro said he cannot drink alcohol, and later my mum told me its because my bro said 'My wife told me not to'. Clockwise from the guy seated ( my bro ), the guy in striped red shirt is my cousin, the guy in black playing handphone is my cousin, beside my cousin is me, and the seated guy in red is my cousin. Ve are five bradder-cousins. Try and compare me and my bro. Some of them older guests said congrats to me. Wtf. They thought I was my brother. Do I really look so freaking alike with him???? Some even asked my mother after realizing their mistake, "How the fuck did you do it? Producing two identical sons! "

This is two mei nu(s). The one on the left is Hsu Lin, my sister. The one on the right is Eing Ling, my bro's childhood fiancee. Hehe, my mum's so cool. She knows she is stuck with Jesslyn for a daughter-in-law, whom she has not fully approved but close to, so she took the opportunity to shoot her for the last time. My mum loaded her triple barreled shotgun and shot Eing Ling, my bro and his wife in one go. Oh and my sister also gave herself an English name. Of all names, my sister named herself 'Jeslyn'.

She went :
"Eing Ling ar!! This son promise to marry you when he was 8. Now he is getting married, but the bride is not you lehhhhhh~~!"

I went ( quietly ) :
HAHA WHAT THE FUCK!

Anyway, during the wedding, me and my two bro-cousins was so pitiful. We were each given a Chivas Regal and a bottle of 1.5l mineral water and asked by my mum and aunt to go around the 40 tables to pour the whisky for the guests. You know how heavy or not?? Then we didn't get to eat somemore. My bro did not drink alcohol that night even though we insisted like shit, I became the victim.

"On behalf of your brother, defend your family honour."

I hate that sentence. It caused two glasses of Chivas Regal down into my tummy. Fortunately, I possess some unknown alcoholics quality that I did not get drunk. Thanks to my dad, who drinks like crazy.

Sabrina Cheong, happy with the photos? :P There's more to come. Wait until I get the photos from the official photographer. Probably a few weeks. And there is another dinner in Singapore. The bride is Singaporean. My bro is Selat-Sunda-ian. In the middle of S'pore and Malaysia =/ So that is why there are two wedding dinners, one in M'sia for my bro's side and another one in S'pore for the bride's side.

Until then :D Sorry lar, I didn't appear so many times. Only once. :P But then main character not me, and I am not a vain pot like Dickson. So, can only get a small glimpse of me. I try and take one of me and my brother together in the same coloured suit in Singapore. You guys compare then.