Sunday, October 29, 2006

Grandma

My grandma's seriously beginning to freak me out. She's 87, I repeat, 87. I have been living with her for around 12 years. And today, she called me when she saw me. Below is our conversation, in Hokkien. But I shall translate it.

grandma - G
Me - L

G : When did you come? Why didn't call me?
L : *Wtf* I have been living with you for close to ten years ah ma....
G : Ooorrhhh....

*Moment of silence*

G : Who is your father??
L : *WTF* My father is Charlie lar! Your son ah ma.. 4th son!!
G : Ooooorrhh...

*Moment of silence*

G : Why your father so fast die???
L : AHHHHHH CHOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOUCH WOOD TOUCH WOOD! HAVEN'T DIE!!
G : Haven't die ar???? Oooorrrrhhh...

*Moment of silence*

G : Where are you siblings? Die or not yet???
L : *WTF* NOT YET!!!!! My brother in Singapore now ah ma.. he just got married. You went to his wedding dinner..
G : No lar.. I didn't go. Your aunt everything also didn't tell me. Sometimes I think also want to cry.
L : *-_____-"""""*

She really cried. Fuck.

G : Your father also really ar... why marry a mistress??
L : Har??? Mistress?????? *WTF*
G : Yalar.. that young woman living with us. Got a baby somemore...
L : Ah ma.. that one is Ah Siang's wife. Your granddaughter-in-law lar.... baby is your great-grandson.
G : Ooorrhhh.....

L : *Pek Chek. Why liddat?*

G : I want to go back to Batu Pahat...
L : Here is Batu Pahat.
G : Nonsense!! I don't believe you.
L : *wtf*

If these are not signs of dementia/senility or whatever you call it... what shall I do??

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I seriously can't stand Tmnet @ streamyx these few days. I think I rename it as 'Steamyx'.

Why?

With these kind of connection....

They sure are making government's efforts come true.

I can't even open a browser webpage at times, and other times it takes forever to load.

So how are the rakyat going to download porn -____-""" All bullshit lar.

No, I do not watch porn.

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Recently some wiseguy said 'Bahasa Rojak sucks' and say want to fine RM1000 to billboards and signboards with BR.

The fuck is their problem.

Go open the 'Kamus Dewan'. Flip through the entire dictionary. HOW MANY WORDS COME FROM ENGLISH???????????????????????????????????

And then there is the idea of direct translation.

Section - Seksyen
Television - televisyen
Population - Populasi
Insulation - Insulasi

So.......

Masturbation is what? Masturbasi or Masturbasyen??

Turn on TV3 and watch the news. Listen to the people they interview.

"Tak lar JAM sangat.. tadi ada ACCIDENT.. tapi nak balik agak SMOOTH lar.."

Its going to take forever to crush out bahasa rojak. Its a sign of multicultural society. It happens when one is shitty in both languages, mixed together only can talk smoothly. Because some words are hard to be spoken in English, and same goes for bahasa, so people mix them. Simple.

Come on lar.. RM1000 fine?? Traffic offense the most also RM300. And at times it involves a human life. You guys can't even decide on an appropriate punishment. And you people were the ones who introduced 'MyKad' and such.
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Current plan for post-SPM adventures.

6-11th December - Go KL, if got time I want go Kuala Gandah!!
19th/20th - around 27th December - Go S'pore

After that... most prob NS. Then apply to study everywhere.

Then fuck.

I don't know what's going to happen man.

Anybody from those two places wanna meet up?? Get the form from me :D 'Sila isi borang' lol
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Remember what I said about something screwed up with friendster?

It happened again.

First, I couldn't log in. No idea why. Then I had to copy-paste my password and email, then I got in. Funny, I typed in correctly for 20 times also cannot login.

Then, I have 6 guys requesting to be my friends.

6!

It was 5!!!!

DAMN IT PEOPLE I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I know prob they are trying to be friendly. But in friendster, I do not add people whom I do not know. Because friendster's there for me to keep in touch with people I know!!

I know I do not look feminine, only very masculine. That could only mean those 6 guys are
1 ) Admirers
2 ) Gay
3 ) The usual fuckers who go 'I know you but you dunno me'

Sick... ugh.....
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Whatever is wrong with Blogger. Too full is it..... observe..

Crap.

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That's all for now. Buai :D

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Welcome

Everybody get the new Album by My Chemical Romance! I don't care how you get it, legally ( which means a lot of $$ ) or illegally ( which means minimum $$ or none at all ). By hook or by crrrrroooookkk, you gotta listen to it. Wait, provided you like MCR.

But then, MCR cannot be as depressing as Evanescence. I don't know, probably cause they are more... like.. uh.. how do you say that? Punk? Aaah, they reek of energy xD Evanescence has Amy Lee. She has a very nice voice, one that is suitable for dark depressing songs.

Alright, so far. I have chosen out a few that can really make you feel high. They are...

1. Mama
2. Hidden track ( This is a very cute song. Damn strange )
3. Sleep
4. Cancer

And the others are great!

Note : This review is entirely personal and is responsible to no one but myself. Read at your own risk. Especially Aimee ( Whom I am definitely not marrying ).
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Oh and here's a funny thing going round around my house. My cousin brought down his PS 2 from upstairs ( YAY! TIME TO PLAY FF9!! SPM SUCKS! W00t! )

So his two daughters ( my nieces ) and a cousin began playing. Note : Age between 6-9.

So they began playing Dead or Alive 2. DOA!?? Reminds me of the movie I watched recently.

So.. they began playing. Damn funneh.

My eldest niece ( Age 8+ )
Loses all the time. She suck. But she can lose gracefully. Probably comes with age.

Moral of the story : My niece has no gaming cells. Disgrace to the family :P

My cousin ( Age 7+++ )
Loses everytime. She suck.
But when I play with her just to humour her...
I am the right side fighter. She is the left side.

When I let her win, she jumps and yells "Yeah.. I won!!"
When I win, she stands up and yells. "YAY!!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And I sit there going *wtf*

Moral of the story : When dealing with kids, Whatever the odds, you always lose.

My younger niece ( Age 6+++ )
Always win. And each time she plays, she gets so agitated, she stands up and starts jumping around and yelling 'Haiyah! Hoah! Wataaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!" then pulling the joypad. Is that a victory dance or what???

This afternoon, I was eating. She yelled at me.

"I always win!!!!! Hahaha! I use what also win!!!!!!!!!!!"

So I was like.. this girl is getting arrogant.

"Come fight me lar... haha" I said.

"COME LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NOT SCARED YOU!!!!!!!!!" came the loud reply.

She's a girl in case you didn't realize.

So I sat down and took a joypad. Chose random for the five matches I played against her.

Beat the crap out of her 5 times out of 5. She's 6 I am 17 what do you expect?

She goes like, "YOU CHEAT!!!!!! NO FAIR!!!!!!!!! *Pulls controller out of the PS II*"

Moral of the story : Never deflate an underaged balloon.

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Holidaze is coming to an end! I am finishing my biology!! Wheeeee~~ time to move on to Chem + History!

Damn, I hope I manage to cover it all before SPM comes.

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To friends staying in KL and S'pore. Expect me there immediately after SPM. Do contact me if you wanna meet up, specially BRATs! If you don't have my contact number, worship me and beg for it. I might feel you deserve it.

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whaddayaknow? Making lines are fun xD

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Okay, just a minor update.. or maybe not

First and foremost, lemme bring to your attention something very screwed up about my friendster.

I mean, its like.. Am I attracting guys or what?? Look, I hereby announce.. I AM NOT GAY!!! In fact, I already have a girl whom I am interested in. So guys.. don't get the wrong idea man. I won't be your regular 18 year old handsome stripper. Not for any price, unless its around 12 digits without decimal points. *sighs* Why can't it ever be... 5 hot girls? I have put those guys on hold for how long?? I think around 6 months.

One particular guy freaks me out the most.

He adds me on MSN.

Then strikes a chat with me.

I shall name him 'X' and myself 'H' ( H for handsome )

X : Hi
H : Hi
X : Who are you?
H : What the fuck.. you the one who added me
X : I am X
H : And how the fuck did you get my email address?
X : Oh, a friend send forwarded email. I saw yours among the list and added you.
H : *wtf*
X : I think I know you, I also a High School boy.
H : I think I don't know you even though I am a High School boy.
X : But I now in Singapore
H : *wtf*

So what did i do? Blocked him, deleted him and every mail he sends me gets reported as spam. Then he adds me in friendster. I rejected. He add again. I reject again. He add again. Leave him be larrr... let him be on the waiting list.

I mean, look..

I look so handsome beside my good friend, triple H. Yeah, if you think far enough, I think you are probably right. My bro everyday reminds me that I am 'Nobita'. Neeehh.. that Doraemon punyak stupid kid who always gets bullied and cry that Nobita. Just that.. I am a handsome version and is the asshole instead of the bullied one.

In case you are wondering.. according to my mum, I rarely cried when I was a toddler. SO, when I was at the age of 5-10, I tried to compensate for all the trouble I did not cause when I was a toddler. I call it the 'Zaman Tangisan' or 'Crying Era'. yesh, I was a crybaby that time. But no more. After my brother knocked out two of my front teeth when we were play acting 'Street Fighter' and he was doing a 'Ho yu-ken' and sent me flying away with two teethtailing my feet.

So once again I stress, I AM NOT GAY!!!! Ladies, queue up please :P

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On to other stuff. You guys( Oh wait, LADIES!! ) might be interested in a little conversation between zhi wei and me. Two totally whacked people studying for SPM. Stress does this you see..

خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
fucker
[Leslie] says:
YES LAR
[Leslie] says:
but i am not doing
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
dunno
[Leslie] says:
if i can still stay awake after blogging
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
[Leslie] says:
the wine i had is knocking me out

[Leslie] says:
which part of it don't you understand
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
my Mum's birthday celebration
[Leslie] says:
i always feel sleepy after wine
[Leslie] says:
even if its a cup
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
y
[Leslie] says:
z
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
a
[Leslie] says:
b
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
c
[Leslie] says:
d
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
e
[Leslie] says:
f
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
g
[Leslie] says:
h
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
i
[Leslie] says:
j
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
k
[Leslie] says:
l
[Leslie] says:
m
[Leslie] says:
n
[Leslie] says:
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
o
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
p
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
q
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
r
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
s
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
t
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
u
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
v
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
w
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
x
خђỉ щξỉ :: says:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Leslie] says:
Y
[Leslie] says:
WHOOOOOOOOO
[Leslie] says:
26 alphabets named

Don't even think!!

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Today I totally whacked my Biology teacher. She just obtained her Masters.

So I was reading Biology. About parameciums.. about tissues. So I just had this sudden idea that struck me like.. an orgasm?

Fact : Parameciums reproduce by 'pembelahan dedua', whatever it is called. Asexual reproduction ( ewww.. no fun ) anyway.

Fact : That only happens when the condition is suitable with ample food supply and such.

Fact : When the condition is unsuitable, they conjugate ( aaah, yesss.. )

But wait... *studies Paramecium sp. cell structure*

HOW THE HELL DO THEY CONJUGATE WITHOUT SEXUAL ORGANS??????? Okay, its organel.

So I asked teacher.

She said..

"Two parameciums stick their posterior ( meaning, their ass ) together and then a duct connects both of them where they exchange nucleus and information and stuff.."

So I began thinking. Where does the baby come from then??

Teacher got whacked. She also began thinking. No idea, she has to look it up. She thinks no babies are produced in the reproduction process.

And me? WHAT THE FUCK??? They get to fuck without having babies!!!

Fact 2 : Tissues are a group of similiar cells doing the same function. Not tissue paper you retard.

Fact 2 : Organs are a group of different kinds of tissues doing a specific function. E.g Heart.

Fact 2 : A million nefrons makes up the filtering system of a kidney.

Fact 2 : A nefron is made up of multiple kinds of tissues.

My question is : Is a nefron an organ or a tissue?

Teacher : I think its more towards a tissue...
Me : But there are multiple kinds of tissues performing a specific task!
Teacher : Yahor, maybe its an organ.. nono, its not an organ.
Me : But it forms the kidney organ!
Teacher : *whacked*

In the end, teacher tells me it is classified under a 'unit'. Means, the entire nefron, though made up of multiple tissues, is considered an entire cell or something I didn't really understand properly. I was whacked myself..

Don't get me wrong. My teacher is not ignorant. She is brilliant. Its always up to me to pop up weird questions. What to do.. I always think out of the box.. especially when it comes to reproduction and sex. Now why did I say that for..

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Won't update so frequently now. COnsidering SPM is about a month away, and I have just began CRAP scanning Biology and SHIT theraphy for my Add Maths, I seriously have lots to catch up. And anyway, since I will be so busy performing 'Information diffusion' with my text books, hopefully they will diffuse into my brain while I use them as my pillow to snooze while I am supposed to be studying. Nothing much interesting will happen.

I hereby formally declare my life ending again. Time to revert to robot mode.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

All's well ends well

What a way to start my day.

First, I wake up to be informed my grandmother had a fall and has to be sent to the hospital.

Then, after a series of rushing, informing and shit, me and my aunt went off to buy lunch.

She came home and said, " I lost my wallet. Inside got IC + credit cards. Basically everything inside. "

And when I was driving, one fucking fucker motorcyclist came from nowhere and i was going at 65. Almost beat the crap out of him.

Then I suddenly realized its already 4.30pm. wtf have to do homework. Then get stupid fucking headache.

Before I even realize it, its already 6pm. Time to buy dinner for grandma. She's been hospitalised.

And now here I am. Whole day gone suddenly.

All's well ends well.

Grandma had no serious injury.
My aunt lodged a police report, and cancelled all her credit cards. Then come back and found her purse. =/
I did not beat the crap out of anybody. Though at times I wish to beat the crap out of zhi wei cause he is so fucking annoying in MSN. :P

And nothing annoys me more than a fucked up connection.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Observe.

And I can't get the photo up. What the fuck........

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Zee Phawtoes... Mashter..

First and foremost, my formal apologies to blogger. Its not blogger that screwed me up. Its the photos. I did not realize they were 25 inches each and saved in BMP file format, which adds up to 6MB per photo. That means it takes practically forever to upload it. The only thing screwed up is the tagboard.

This is me and my brother. In suits. People tell me we look identical. But then, honestly, I cannot really tell. I mean, me is me, my bro is my bro. I mean, come on lar... we know who is more handsome right?????????????????? RIGHT????????????????

Of course, in Batu Pahat and in Singapore, both places, when I stood at the reception desk without my brother.. well.. people just walk in..

Stranger(s) : Eh! Wee Lee! Congrats larr!! Finally your turn to get married!!
Me : *Wtf*........ Ah-haha-haha-haha, hehe, hehe *humours him* *then* I am not Wee Lee. I am his brother.
Stranger(s) : HAR???????? BROTHER????????????????


This is my immediate family.

Clockwise standing from left :
My sister's boyfriend-husband-soon-to-be, my sister, my sister-in-law, my brother, me, my father ( seated ), my grandma and my mother.

This is the new couple, with two young men and the family mei-nus.

From left to right :
Me, Sue Lynn, Ju Lie, Hsu Lin ( My sister lar -__-") Ee Lynn, Hua An.
Seated are my bro and his wife.

Guys, stop drooling o_O

That's my cousin standing there holding his son, my nephew.
I am seated in the middle with that meat bag as my nephew, left side is Yong Hwa, and right side is Hua An. All cousins o_O

This is my mum and her friend. They sang duet during my brother's wedding dinner in BP. Damn nice.. everyone was simply wtf-ed. Compared to the wedding in S'pore.. no entertainment syot. All eat only. Sien man...

Thisis my father with an unidentified man. My dad is the guy in red, or pink, whichever you see it as.

This is my grandmother and my aunt who brought me up. :)

This is my mum & Eing Ling. My mum kept ranting about how nice this photo is =/ Probably cause she took it with a hawt girl :D

Right, lazy to fix up other photos. Other photos not so nice also =/

On to another issue. My grandmother. Anybody knows any good way to 'melayan kerenah' old folks with senility and Alzheimer?

Situation : Well, we have been living in this house ever since we sold that old wooden house 3-4 years back. Grandma agreed that time, and signed her name to sell the plot of land.

This morning.. she woke up =/

And said this is Indonesia or somewhere. This is not our home she says. She wants to return to Batu Pahat. She said, we are all trying to cheat her. Who knows what she is thinking.

Then said she was not informed that her house was sold. She almost drove my aunt nuts xD to a level I never got to achieve.

Then, after I went to school and came back, my aunt told me..

"This morning your grandma left the house alone. She said she wanted to go back to Batu Pahat, back to her wooden house."

Woah, seriously wtf-ed. She is 87. She can barely walk. And she left the house alone empty handed without her tongkat, without her umbrella and walked several doors away o_O How the fuck did she do that??????

My mum thinks my grandmother is beginning to see 'things'. My mum seriously believes firmly those stuff. As for me, I think they exist, but its hard to prove they exist. And when people see 'things', according to my mum, its almost time they 'go'.

Mum said before her father passed away, he kept mentioning 'Guan Yin Ma' the Goddess of Mercy came and talked to him many times. And he also kept saying many long-past relatives came to visit him, bringing kids. o_O

Its up to you whether you think old people are imagining stuff, or it really happened.

Now my grandmother wakes up and says someone told her to wake up cause there is a needle in her bed poking her.

I wonder.............

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

More school stupid stuff

Yes. I have come to realize my school teachers have a talent for saying dumb stuff. And mostly they are man. And so far, they are all Malays o_O And they have a talent for making students do extra work.

Ever since my school's GPK koko passed away, we were without a teacher or senior assistant in charge of cocurriculum. So recently, because of Pertandingan Sekolah Cemerlang, which my school miraculously won for god-knows-how-many years, they simply elected a teacher to tidy up the cocurriculum reports. And he called us, US, we who have retired from our posts, back to fill in the spaces of what they initially told us 'Tak payah isi'. What the fuck man..

First one guy tells us to do it. A second guy comes along and says we did it differently. A third says it should be another way, and both the first were wrong. The fourth comes and say no need to do at all. And now, the fifth comes along and say must do. So I think altogether we have submitted the same reports like... 4 times? Maybe 5.

Anyway, back to the main point. Stupid things these Malay-men-teachers say. Don't think I am racist. Chinese-men-teachers are full of shit too. Some of them are even a bit sissified. That scares me.

This new teacher being charged of koko said, we must all fill in the report books. And apparently, he only had a few of these reports in his hands. That means many did not hand up. And this is what he says.

"Bagi yang ada buku, sila isi dan hantar selewat-lewatnya waktu rehat ( wtf ). Bagi yang tak ada buku, anda carilah di mana-mana saya pun tak tahu mana."

For those having difficulties understanding Malay language, its literal meaning is 'You find it wherever-I-do-not-know-where'

And again, my principal has made himself into a joke for students =/ He called us to start lecturing us about the trial exam results. 5Science1, my class did very well. And he just had to call everyone and scold the low achievers, which of course are only two or three.

So we sat there for like.. 30-40 minutes listening to him making a fool of himself. And he was being a total asshole. Lemme quote him on a few matters.

Principal scolding a few low achieving students.
"Awak tahu tak awak semua ini Jebon-Jebon ini yang memalukan sekolah?"

And we were like, wtf is Jebon-Jebon????? The fuck is the old man talking about?
So I asked a couple of my Malay friends. And yeah, I tried to find it in Kamus online, but no results.

Apparently "Jebon" is a Bigfoot-like monster in a Malay legend or something. =/

And then, furthermore...

Principal scolding a few low achieving students.
"Awak semua ini memalukan tahu tak? Tetapi hal ini bukan memalukan!"

You go figure. I never understood a single fucking word he says.

Principal scolding everyone with good grades for no apparent reason.
"Awak semua pelajar aliran Sains Tulen ini memalukan. Awak semua ambil aliran Sains, tetapi matapelajaran Sainslah yang paling banyak gagal. Contohnya, 5 S 1."

*Flips through analysis paper of my class*
*Gives a "Omg-wtf-nobody-failed-any-science-subjects-in-5S1"*

"Er.... 5 Sains 1 sangat baik."

This goes to show that, he knows nothing, or maybe a little fucking idea about the students' results.

Scold us for not going to class. Keep calling us away from class.

And then, I have a Malay friend. His name is Shafique. Some of you might know him as the first speaker for HSBP debate team. Anyway, he is taking Chinese paper for SPM. So the asshole principal is shocked. The Chinese teacher asked him to talk to the 15 students who are taking Chinese, but likes to skip class because she is such an asshole.

"Shafique???? Shafique awak ambil bahasa Cina? Awak ini Melayu tulen ker.. Melayu kocai?"

Fuck you lar. Malay take Chinese means not pure Malay ar? This is Malaysia. You guys are the ones saying equality for all races. And now you say this kind of fuck thing. =/ Its damn offensive towards Shafique.

I think they are screwed.

And regarding the Pertandingan Sekolah Cemerlang ( PSC ) I seriously doubt my school's victory. The entire year, the school is like shit. But when PSC comes along, the management starts forcing everyone to clean up the class, force us to buy fucking greeting cards ( WAJIB RM 6 YOU KNOW!!??? ) then use the money to 'beautify ( like shit ) the school and everything at the last moment. Then on the day the inspectors come along, the management warns us beforehand "No funny business or your ass will be imploded".

I don't think we deserve PSC. We deserve Oscar Acting Award more.

Tell me honestly, friends from other schools. Do we share the same fate in school? I am curious.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Photos galore!

Wheeeeeeeee! Well, 6 photos for now only. My sis gave me a camera with an 8MB memory card ( OMG WTF how screwed is that? 8MB!!! ) and the camera cannot zoom ( antique syott ).

For starters...

This is my bro, Willie Ng @ Ng Wee Lee, and his fiance Jesslyn... uh... oh fuck. I am such a failure. I don't even know my sis-in-law's full name. Aiyah, Jesslyn something lar!! Anyway, in case you have difficulty telling genders apart, the one on the left is my bro. Eh wait, I think my bro's the one on the right.

Anyway, this is the new couple pouring champagne after 'cutting' the cake. The cake is a fake. Hey that rhymes. Anyway, some kid asked my bro after he came down. "Can I have some cake?" and my bro was 'Wtf the cake is a fake' lol. Damnit, cake is a fake. That sounds so cool.

This is my mum. She actually wore a gown that looks so great on her, some of us ( includng me ) thinks my mum outshone the bride. Wtf. Anyway, my mum loves singing. And she can sing. So, on my bro's wedding, my mum presented a few songs. At the reception some of the guests thought my mum was the bride. Wtf. Some asked her, 'Jit gei si sin niu ah si lao niu?' *translation - This is the bride ( Sin Niu, pronounced in such a way it sounds like new cow ) or the old cow ( old cow as in lao niu, you get the point. )? Its in Hokkien btw.

My bro seated, being forced to drink Chivas Regal. I was so fucked up when my bro said he cannot drink alcohol, and later my mum told me its because my bro said 'My wife told me not to'. Clockwise from the guy seated ( my bro ), the guy in striped red shirt is my cousin, the guy in black playing handphone is my cousin, beside my cousin is me, and the seated guy in red is my cousin. Ve are five bradder-cousins. Try and compare me and my bro. Some of them older guests said congrats to me. Wtf. They thought I was my brother. Do I really look so freaking alike with him???? Some even asked my mother after realizing their mistake, "How the fuck did you do it? Producing two identical sons! "

This is two mei nu(s). The one on the left is Hsu Lin, my sister. The one on the right is Eing Ling, my bro's childhood fiancee. Hehe, my mum's so cool. She knows she is stuck with Jesslyn for a daughter-in-law, whom she has not fully approved but close to, so she took the opportunity to shoot her for the last time. My mum loaded her triple barreled shotgun and shot Eing Ling, my bro and his wife in one go. Oh and my sister also gave herself an English name. Of all names, my sister named herself 'Jeslyn'.

She went :
"Eing Ling ar!! This son promise to marry you when he was 8. Now he is getting married, but the bride is not you lehhhhhh~~!"

I went ( quietly ) :
HAHA WHAT THE FUCK!

Anyway, during the wedding, me and my two bro-cousins was so pitiful. We were each given a Chivas Regal and a bottle of 1.5l mineral water and asked by my mum and aunt to go around the 40 tables to pour the whisky for the guests. You know how heavy or not?? Then we didn't get to eat somemore. My bro did not drink alcohol that night even though we insisted like shit, I became the victim.

"On behalf of your brother, defend your family honour."

I hate that sentence. It caused two glasses of Chivas Regal down into my tummy. Fortunately, I possess some unknown alcoholics quality that I did not get drunk. Thanks to my dad, who drinks like crazy.

Sabrina Cheong, happy with the photos? :P There's more to come. Wait until I get the photos from the official photographer. Probably a few weeks. And there is another dinner in Singapore. The bride is Singaporean. My bro is Selat-Sunda-ian. In the middle of S'pore and Malaysia =/ So that is why there are two wedding dinners, one in M'sia for my bro's side and another one in S'pore for the bride's side.

Until then :D Sorry lar, I didn't appear so many times. Only once. :P But then main character not me, and I am not a vain pot like Dickson. So, can only get a small glimpse of me. I try and take one of me and my brother together in the same coloured suit in Singapore. You guys compare then.