Penguin Lords storm KL, rendezvous with KL BRATs with conspiracies

Chapter 1 - 9th December 2006

Leslie got up early in the morning. After washing up, he went downstairs. And Hark!

What he discovered was two slices of ROTI CANAI!! At 8.15am, it was still early. His bus leaves at 9am, so he had no worries about being late.

And he finished eating them at 8.35am. What was the time to meet Zhi Wei again? Ah yes 8.30am. I am still early.

Despite his aunt urging him to be faster, he still takes his time nonchalantly.

So he arrives at the bus station at 8.45am, and saw his friend conspirator Zhi Wei. Zhi Wei ( ZW ) was with his mum, and she was busy cautioning him and all sorts of advices.

Leslie joined him, and surveyed the crowd for possible assasins on his valuable life. After all, he was an Important Emissary for Penguins and Ultramans.

The bus had a sign. Batu Pahat to Kuala Lumpur non-stop.

During the journey, amidst drowning in My Chemical Romance ( MCR ) songs and ZW reading a freaking book, Leslie suddenly felt as if the bus was not moving. The clock showed 11.30am. That was around 2 and a half hours of journey to KL from BP.

Looking around, in and out of the window, he finally found out why. The bus felt as if it was not moving because it was not moving! He looked out the window, and saw a white mercedes beside. He began dreaming of life when he is successful, with six cars, six houses and six of everything in the world.

When he stopped day dreaming, he looked out the window again. The white mercedes was still there. Had the bus travelled so fast that the mercedes barely managed to keep up?

To Leslie's horror, the bus had not moved an inch. The clock showed 11.52am. NON STOP?? My feet and penguin flippers!

Finally, they arrived in Pudu Raya at 12.45pm. Unfortunately for the world, they are not going to jail. Immediately after disembarking, Leslie scanned the crowd for more possible attempts on his life. His lowly servant, ZW stared around like an idiot. When he felt safe enough, he handed his bags to ZW and proceeded to buy return tickets.

He called his cousin, Chee Pink ( CP ). CP asked them to go to Jaya Jusco and have lunch there while he gets there. He said he was on his way to Jaya Jusco.

So the duo, a High Lord with a wretched servant went to Jaya Jusco. A plate of chicken rice costed RM 7.50. Leslie was fucked. And ZW actually said he avoided fast food because they were too expensive. Before he began eating, Leslie checked his watch. 1.30pm. He called CP again. 'I am on my way' CP assured again. Leslie began eating.

After they finish eating, Leslie called CP at 2pm. 'I am on my way!' CP reassured. He finally arrived at 2.45pm. Leslie was fucked.

They then proceeded to shop around. CP asked Leslie and ZW to visit the MPH bookstore upstairs. Leslie felt a sudden urge to yell. Why had he not been informed of the presence of a MPH bookstore so near?

And so when they came to the MPH bookstore, ZW began saying 'Master, let's go to the SPM book section.' Puzzled, Leslie let ZW lead. Upon reaching the reference books for SPM, ZW began laughing loudly "AHAHAHA I NEED YOU NOT ANYMORE!". Leslie was fucked.

After browsing around several sections, Leslie found this and ZW photographed it.

Children's books included such books? Leslie never knew that, and cursed that when he was a child all he ever read was Enid Blyton.

At night, CP brought them to Sungei Wang shopping centre. Leslie asked to go to the toilet. So ZW waited outside. And he found this.

A women's toilet with a toilet sign. Without a door.

Leslie was unfortunate enough to share a bedroom with Zhi Wei. CP's condo apartment only had one guest room. So he had no choice but to share the room.

When everybody went to sleep, ZW started snoring like a truck. Leslie was very very fucked.

Chapter 2 - 10th December 2006

Leslie and friends were supposed to met in Midvalley at 10am. ZW awoke well rested and joyful. Leslie awoke sleepy.

They met Navin Kuma in Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT station. Then they began crapping. As they boarded the KTM train, Aima stepped in. Leslie saw her first, but dismissed her. Since Leslie never saw her anyway except in photos, which she sure did bear resemblance to. Well, because she's the one in the photos.

So the trio started crapping, oblivious to Aima's pitiful existence in the train. Until she could not bear it anymore and said 'EH! You all also here??'

Upon arriving in MV, the first destination was McD's for breakfast. Leslie 'forcefully owed' Aima a Sundae, which he decided to buy it. Anything to shut her up.

The McD counter attendant girl looked innocent enough. When she asked Leslie what flavour of Sundae he wanted, Leslie leaned in and whispered 'Mixed please'. She was taken aback. It was the request for certain death.

ZW stepped in, trying to be a hero. He said 'Strawberry please'. Leslie shot ZW a glare.

Then, Aima started complaining. She said 'WHO THE HELL EATS STRAWBERRY SUNDAE??'

Leslie was fucked. Again.

Bee Bee arrived soon after breakfast. As she strode towards the gang of four weirdoes, Leslie began assessing her mind for any traces of insanity. Any residues in her mind after severe brainwashing by himself and Zhi Wei.

If there were, she did not show it.

Angel arrived soon after. And she asked a question.

"Zhi Wei, who is your friend here?"

Leslie was fucked. Again.

From left: Bee Bee, Angel, ZW, Navin Kuma, Aima, Leslie

Then Angel asked an interesting question again. "Where are we going now?"

Everybody said "Don't know.." and then started walking again. To where, it was undecided. So the entire gang decided to go Burger King, since they offer free places to sit.

Bee Bee suddenly felt like eating sugar-coated strawberries. It costed RM3.50 a stick. Seven Strawberries each stick.

Halfway through the chatting process, Aima got a seizure AND a fit. She started trembling like crazy then she grabbed Leslie and started strangling him. Leslie was yelling for help, but alas, people laughed. Apathy! Apathy causes death. Fortunately, Leslie survived the ordeal, though it was traumatizing.


This is Aima with Angel.

This is Navin Kuma. Who apparently is the 'Product Supervisor' for Carrefour. He earns RM80 a day. Apparently, when asked what Product Supervisor actually meant, he said 'In short it means Promoter lar...'

And when asked, Angel simply said 'Oh I am working for Osim now with the iGallop thing. I earn RM180 a day'. For once, Navin Kuma was fucked instead of Leslie.


This was in Midvalley Burger King. Free seats. From left : Bee Bee, ZW, Navin Kuma, Aima, Angel, Leslie

Of course, who goes to a shopping centre without at least window shopping. Aima led the gang to Rock Corner and started swearing at the shop. 'Why is it called Rock corner when the rock songs are so little' or something. Leslie suggested it be called 'Stone corner'.

This is Aima. She apparently had another fit and a seizure. She started strangling a stuffed toy of a penguin.

Soon, one by one, they left. Until Leslie, Zhi Wei, Bee Bee and Aima was left. Despite Navin Kuma's insistence that his working hours are 'flexible', he finally decided to leave. Angel also had to work. And Joshua came amazingly early and left so fast we couldn't finish a bowl of kuey teow.

And soon the question arose. What are they to do tomorrow?

Final verdict after much argument : Midvalley. Because Joshua said so.

What the fuck.

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One hour and a half for two parts. This is crazy. Update another two parts another time.

Complete set of photos can be found at ZW's Multiply since I did not bother to bring my camera. Asyraf would laugh his ass off himself looking at my camera.

Finally xD

The procrastination has come to an end. Well maybe I'll just do this later..

Ah alright, no use procrastinating again. I think its going to take me an entire night and day to sort out the photos, so I'll get down to updating the KL thingy tomorrow xD

For now, I shall update on Eragon : The movie.

The verdict : Sucked
The score : 4 / 10

Reason in General : Plot was hacked to pieces, then mutilated over and over again. Poor acting.

Reason in Detail ( Warning : Super spoiler. Do not proceed unless you do not intend to read the book )

1. Elves no pointy ear? Wtf
2. Dwarves taller than men
3. Role of side characters like Murtagh, Brom and such too short and unimportant
4. King Galbatorix is not supposed to be seen at all anyway
5. Durza was shot by Murtagh, not Eragon
6. No Jeod, no Helena, no Twins, no Katrina and millions of characters missing. Worst of all, no Solembum. And Angela was hardly mentioned at all.
7. Eragon did not jump from Saphira's back to attack Durza.
8. Murtagh was supposed to help Eragon after he was captured by Ra'zak, not stalking like a sex maniac
9. Murtagh freaking doesn't want to go to the Varden, but in the movie he offered to bring Eragon there
10. Arya was supposed to be unconscious, but there you have it, she was alive and healthy instead of alive and near death and unconscious
11. No Urgals were chasing them. They appeared out of nowhere.
12. Brom also appeared out of nowhere to take the spear for Eragon.
13. Uncle Garrow looked more like sleeping instead of dead.
14. Brom was not killed by Durza. He was killed by poisoned dagger of Ra'zak.
15. Eragon learned magic through desperation when he shot TWO Urgals in the head with one arrow, instead of AN ENTIRE COMPANY of Urgals AND a Bridge with one arrow
16. Angela looked like a whore instead of a witch
17. The battle was no battle. It suddenly ended with a victory when Durza died. No explanation were given even though the Varden were clearly portrayed outnumbered million-to-one.
18. Eragon and Murtagh's friendship were not shown to grow.
19. Hadarac desert scene was cut off entirely.
20. Plains with storm scene was cut off entirely.
21. Farthen Dur city scene was cut off entirely.
22. City where Jeod was in ( forgot the name xD ) was cut off entirely
23. Arya was supposed to reject Eragon. But in the movie it looked like she was in love with him instead of Eragon in love with her.
24. No character development is evident. In the book it can be felt. He just changed from a farm boy to a hero in an hour. Well, literally.
25. Saphira's script was way too corny.
26. Saphira's name was chosen after Eragon listed a name for her, not her introducing herself.
27. Brom could 'talk' to Saphira. It was not seen in the movie.
28. Nasuada was not introduced properly. Her role was 10 seconds in the movie. She plays quite an important role ok!!
29. Varden people looked like gangsters instead of freedom fighters.
30. Eragon did not bless the little girl.
31. Brom did not teach Eragon anything in the movie.
32. Roran's departure was abrupt and wasn't even explained at all

32 reasons why the movie sucked. Wasted my money buying it, and the director wasted his entire budget to make this film. I wonder how Christopher Paolini took this down?

I should like to see the movie for the sequel book 'Eldest', since characters like Jeod, Katrina and the twins played super important roles to make the twist in the end. But then, if they are going to mutilate it as well, there's a high chance I am not going to watch it at all.

KL trip post coming right up!

Malaysia Boleh

This will be the last post until next Wednesday ( not that I have been very hardworking anyway. My productivity has reached total zero. )

This is because I will be in KL with Zhi Wei meeting up with a couple of BRATs friends. If you want to meet us, feel free to call us. We're still too free despite the current plans xD

I won't post my number here. I don't want any stalkers on my back. So I'll post Zhi Wei's number here, contact him if you want to contact me or him.

Zhi Wei's number is : 012-3456789. Damn expensive number wei, better call and make it worth his while.

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On to today's post. Today I am featuring Malaysian Drivers. No kidding. In Bolehland, the drivers are all extremely skilled people. To make my point, I even spent the whole night drawing shit on paint but fortunately still quite comprehensible.

For starters, Malaysian drivers are the most skilled drivers in the world. This is a common thing to happen, as I have observed for quite a while.

If you do not understand this.. it means that two lanes can become four! You think everyone can do it meh?? Only Malaysians can do it you know!!

This one happened to me. Imagine you driving along the road, and suddenly one whole row of
cars parked are coming out TOGETHER and drive you off to another lane.

This is another common thing. You're approaching the traffic light and you're first. The traffic light is turning red, so naturally you would slow down. Then comes along some hot shot and overtake you JUST BEFORE THE LINE.

I say, never underestimate Malaysian drivers. Driving on a straight road with smooth traffic, one or two of us can get into the drain. God knows how, but they always manage. You ever seen this in other places? No right!???

This is a Malaysian Classic. Two super duper wide roads. One heading south, one heading north. Both one way. This can even happen in Highways. Somebody always manages to get on the wrong side of the traffic. Sometimes I wonder how they get out. It is not uncommon. I repeat. It is not uncommon.


Generally, Malaysian drivers can be categorized into two categories. One kind, is the one who cheong traffic lights, and basically cheong everything else. 2 seconds to go, and they are 1km away from the light, you bet they sure cheong.

Another kind are the slow and steady kind. Yeah, slow. Very slow. So slow in fact, they take the 15 seconds out of the normal 40 seconds in a green light just to pass the line. Ok maybe I was exaggerrating, but I have encountered these kind personally. Me and my pal Christopher. Many occasions. We were not stepping on the gas pedal, and we're overtaking them. Wtf.
Even the accidents here are special. Motorbikes tend to crash during rainy days. This special accident I saw was laughable if it wasn't so tragic. The motorbike crashed and lay horizontally in the middle of two lanes. And the road was quite narrow xD Blocked the entire road.

Malaysia is infamous for its Mamak. Some of the mamak are so good you would die if you don't put on weight there. But some are notorious mamak xD You have to becareful by what they mean by 'tambah lauk'.

To people who don't understand this post, you have to be
1 ) One who is seriously underaged and has no experience whatsoever on the road, and are freaking lazy to pay any attention when your parents are busy chauffering you around.

2 ) One who seldom drives

3 ) Seriously stupid

:D This is among the few natural phenomenon on the road in Malaysia. There are lots of others!

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This is a short post about Grandma Chronicles.

My grandmother's sense of humour still exists despite her age. There was this night, she woke up at 10pm. She slept at 7.30pm by the way.

So she called me. *in Hokkien*

"I want eat peanuts."

I was like.. 'where got peanuts.'

But being the nice guy I was, I said 'Ah ma don't worry, I go and buy now'.

At 10pm, all the shops were closed. So I pusing pusing around town until I finally found a shop. And bought a packet of peanuts.

When I reached home, she was there waiting. When I passed it to her..

"I don't feel like eating already."

WTF

Another occasion was I told her I was going NS.

"Ah Ma, I am going to become a soldier."
"OKAY GOOD! You go there become a commander come back with good name."
"Orh.."

Then the maid came along..
"Ah Ma I also want go!"
"OKAY GOOD! You go there also become good commander then don't come back."

WTF

My grandmother was saying about how she feels insecure because she has no money on her.

"You know one bowl of rice how expensive or not?"

Then she continued..

"Work all your life to buy a bowl of rice every meal. Then when you are old go find one river jump in BOOM! and your life ends."

I was like.. '_'

She actually made sense.

Alright, that's all. Now I am going to have an early rest. Tomorrow going KL woohoo!

SPM IS FINALLY OVER~!!!

First and foremost..

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!!!

Haha very lame. It is proven during SPM that I am allergic to exams. I HAD FEVER THREE TIMES IN A WEEK!! No I don't think its dengue.

Expected Targeted Results :

10As.

7/8 A1s. 2/3 A2s.

I am not setting my hopes too high. I will be happy if I get all As. I am pretty confident of 7 subjects, with the exception of Moral Ed., Biology and Chemistry. But I am confident I can get at least an A2.

I heard from friends that we're getting our results on the 28th of February. That means I'll be getting my results in NS camp. Wtf!! Oh well.. can always visit school after NS xD

And so a chapter of my life has come to an end.

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Just watched James Bond with two friends and a fiend last night. Maybe make it three fiends. Zhi Wei, Heng Leng and Yee Yong. Zhi Wei couldn't stop bullshitting the entire hour-and-half before the movie until the movie. Heng Leng's phone kept ringing during the movie and he went to toilet god-knows-how-many-times. And Yee Yong's mind can never stop spinning. He keeps asking why why why when watching the movie. And I am watching Happy Feet with them later!

On to what I think about James Bond : Casino Royale. Its pretty good.

Its the best Bond movie I have ever watched. (*that's cause its the only one I remember watching*)

Girls were hot. Daniel Craig had nice blue eyes. And the way he messed up everything and in the end turned out he was right was way cool xD He has a good style of saying 'fucker-classified' stuff.

Vesper Lynd : *something something - don't fall in love with me or something* lol i can't remember xD
James Bond : That's ok. You're not my type.
Vesper Lynd : Smart?
James Bond : Single.

The girl who played Vesper Lynd was Eva Green! I was wondering why the hell she looked so damn familiar to me. I have seen her act in Kingdom of Heaven! That is why! I am terrible at remembering actors. Well, maybe some actresses as well xD

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I bought Eragon the Game for PS2. It was not at all that disappointing. But though it tends to get quite monotonous. But its quite nice. Really :)

I finished reading Eragon and Eldest in 3 days during SPM period. I know I was supposed to be studying xD But hey come on lar.. Eragon vs. Text book. Its pretty obvious which will have a greater hold on me. Eragon is 600 pages. Text book also 600 pages. The only difference is I won't feel hungry after reading Eragon. And I won't fall asleep while reading as well.

I have checked out the movie. No I haven't watched it. But just checked it on the net. Apparently there's lots of newbie actors. But I saw the trailer, it looks quite promising. Though somewhere on the net some people mentioned that they hacked the plot apart. Aaargghh! Destroying a good story just to save millions is a crime to all penguins!

Irrationally, wouldn't it be better to pour in a couple of extra millions and a bit of time so that all the reviews turn out to be orgasmic and hit box office for 6 months straight?

At least Lord of The Rings wasn't too disappointing.

In Eragon, OMG WTF Rachel Weisz is Saphira!! How can they put such a hot girl as a dragon!!!????? Considering its a dragon, that means she will be voicing it!!!! DAMN! They should hire her as Arya!! I don't think the current Arya is hot enough. Personal preferences. Don't start hurling fireballs or eggs on fire at me. Rachel Weisz is so much hotter.

In case you do not know who she is, she acted as Angela in Constantine. If you still don't know, you're fucked. Go watch some movies. :P

My movie count is pathetic compared to my friends.

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If there's nothing I hate more, it is having to lend other people my prized story books. Yeah I know, at around RM32 - RM64 each, its not that expensive to you rich brats out there. But they are MY storybooks. My Precious. I distrust everyone when it comes to storybooks.

Not to mention I lent it to a friend, he refused to return me. Said he was at the last chapter of the story and he will not read the last chapter UNTIL the fourth book is published, which the author is currently still working on it. WTF MAN!! WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?? Its at least a year or two wait. Who the hell reads a book until the very last chapter then stops just so that he/she can read the last chapter when the sequel book comes out?

And also they tend to come back folded, scribbled and stuff. Hello? THOSE ARE MY BABIES!! I am passionate towards them!!

Erm what was it I wanted to say again? I forgot amidst my sudden outburst.

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Now that SPM is officially over. These are my plans until after NS.

December
9th - 13th : Go KL find friends.
18th - 26th : Go Singapore and knock a fortune out of my bro. Its prob the last chance I deal such a financial blow to him anyway.
28th - 31st : Go KL again. My cousin's getting married on the 30th.

Jan 1st - March 11th : NS in Masjid Tanah, Malacca. My dad says its by the seaside o_O

In between, I hope I get some good books to read. I have more books at home than the books at the local bookstore. That's how pathetic it is. I always have to travel to at least JB or Malacca to buy a decent storybook to read.

Yeah, I have 11 books of The Wheel of Time, 9 books of The Sword of Truth to mention the least. And I TRAVELED TO THEM BIG CITIES TO BUY THEM ONE AT A TIME!??? That's at least 20 times man! WTF!

But what to do? My aunt says the range of the books sold is depending on the consumers. Where there are many readers, there are many books. Which means... I am probably the only one in Batu Pahat who reads story book for leisure. Haha xD

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The world is going to the dogs. Literally. Corruption is still rampant among authorities in Malaysia ( In Chinese they are called 'dog officers' which means corrupt officers ).

We had friendster. Now we have dogster.

In China, people actually hold a funeral for their pet dogs that had died.

You know you're screwed when some dogs wear nicer clothes than you.

Criminals getting away by taking a dog a hostage?? ( Ok, that is my imagination. But we never know do we? )

The next thing you know? Some American Prez ( or maybe even Malaysia xD But since our people seems to love cats more.. ) in the future couldn't make it to a conference and sent his dog as his official representative instead.

Just wait. When the penguins come.... then we will know.