Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Philosophers Found and Lost

It was a drama that left everyone confused and traumatised. Following a tip off from a citizen reporter who did not like our philosophers, Mr Godomofo, the police conducted a raid at all nearby supermarkets and grocery store that sells potatoes for the six escaped inmates from a mental hospital.

Mr Godomofo, who declares himself as a Top Student of his school, felt a stab of jealousy as he could not outmatch the cunning of Lee Zhi Wei, mastermind behind the Penguins-Don't-Eat-Potatoes Philosophy. All the raids were fruitless, and Mr Godomofo was found to be with excessive-braggart syndrome, and was promptly sent to the mental hospital.

The police, bewildered at such a prankster was very angry. Mr Penguin Little has expressed his disappointment in such citizens who would play his officers as fools and warned would be pranksters to keep their toe in line, or they could face ten years in jail eating nothing but potatoes and wearing a penguin costume.

Before Mr Godomofo was put behind bars, he yelled an address that he said will lead to the six inmates. The officers, after much consideration decided to raid the address given.

66, Jalan Kentang 6, Taman Kentang dan Penguin, Penguin Darul Kentang.

It appeared that such an address did not exist, as all the officers could find was a potato farm in the middle of Antartic ( or Arctic wherever the penguins live ). A discovery of a potato farm in the middle of penguin habitats could point that the theory of the two well liked philosophers wrong, until officials found thatt the potatoes were planted by PENGUINS.

According to the penguin potato farmer, it said that the potato yields are used to appease the polar bears that haunt the region and occasionally devour a penguin. When interviewed, the polar bears refused to comment, but added that potatoes and penguins don't go down well together.

A penguin was able to point to the location of the philosophers after much bribery, and the officers arrived minutes later in Malaysia at the said location.

As the officers arrived in three cars and promptly surrounded the place, citizens were amazed and began crowding around. Apparently, they had not seen officers wearing potatoes like garlic to ward off vampires, only the potatoes were meant to show support to the philosophers, or to ward off their ununderstandable philosophy, nobody knows.

As a chief officer stationed his men, armed with Pizza Hut knives and Pizza scoopers, he yelled at them to come out and drop their weapons and offer no resistance. When the door opened, half the force fled.

It was Mr Eugene Tong who was harboring the fleeing philosophers. It was deemed a fact that he just woke up from his slumber, and doctors diagnosed severe overdose of potatoes that is the cause for his zombie appearance. The officers were shaken that the philosophers had such handsome friends, but half were unfazed. They stood ground and threatened to pelt rotten potatoes at the philosophers.

Mr Eugene was heard arguing with the chief officer, him insisting that he did not have any guests with him. But as officers stormed the place, they were greeted by a surprise of the century.

It was Mr Tong's pet cat, Potatic. Though it sounds suspiciously like 'pathetic', Mr Tong insisted that his cat's name was Potatic. By then, three quarter of the force had surrendered and left for jobs safer and more peaceful.

Though Potatic offered no resistance, the chief officer still put fourty officers to guard the cat, in case it suddenly springs up and spews potatoes everywhere.

Inside the house, the officers found their quarry, six of the inmates were inside. Ng Leslie appeared rather agitated, and Lee Zhi Wei was extremely excited. It appeared that Joshua Teng, the youngest of the six, had just successfully preached to a mass about their philosophy, Penguins don't eat potatoes.

The photo shows Joshua Teng, as he was preaching to the mass about their philosophy. He has successfully made countless number of girls swoon over him, and left many men confused.

Surprisingly, the officers managed to haul the six inmates into the van and ferried them off without any fight. Mr Penguin Little expressed surprise at the lack of resistance, and offered his view on why.

"I suppose it is because they find resistance is futile. I was expecting a fierce fight that involves use of potatoes, knives, scoopers, suicide penguin bombers, missles, guns and weapons of mass distraction." He said. As the six inmates were shown the door to the van, the crowd expressed disappointment at the capture of the popular but elusive inmates. Mr Tong was promptly sent for a barber, then a facial expert, then a doctor, and finally to the rehabilitation centre, where he will recover from the potatoes he ate the past ten days. Experts have found that Mr Tong is immune to the Bird Flu virus, and suspects that it is highly possible that potatoes had a tuber in this.

His cat, Potatic however, was sent to the penguins' potato farm, despite protests by the penguins.

As they were boarding the van, Joshua Teng managed to produce a microphone out from his hair and announced "It is not over yet! For Penguins still do not eat Potatoes! And now, I shall inform the world that Geese don't eat Tomatoes!"

That produced a cheer from the crowd, and before long the inmates were successfully placed back to their homes instead of the mental hospital, as Mr Godomofo had killed the other mental patients with his bragging power, thus reserving the entire building for his personal use.

A Happy ending, or shall we witness a new drama unfold when the philosophers unveil what is behind the new sentence "Geese don't eat Tomatoes!". Click on the "comment" link below to offer your opinions.

Report by : Ng Leslie

Disclaimer : Again, this is for entertainment. Names used are reserved, and no animals were harmed or fed ecstacy or potatoes during the story.


Zhi Wei said...

you really have all the time in the world.

either that, or all the potatoes.

hahahaa. joshua branching out new philosophy la. hahahaha.

penguins don't eat potatoes, geese don't eat tomatoes; since potatoes are not tomatoes and tomatoes are not potatoes, there is a possibility penguins eat tomatoes/geese eat potatoes. further variables are the ability of geese to fly, and the penguin's disability to do likewise. the possibility has yet to be proven, though.

but "top" students like our Godomofo sure don't eat neither. dumbass la that fella. hahaha.

aisyah said...

hahahahhahaha . can't . breathe . LOL LOL LOL . u just get crazier by the day . hahahaha ..

"someone" once said that this week will be the most hectic one of this month .. with competitions n all .
what lah u . and look at what u r doing now :P lol kidding XD .. haha .. great post =) send this to STAR , maybe they'll hire u as one of their reporters :P . hahah ..

Josh said...

Oh Great

Now What's Going On????


I didn't know about that new philosophy

Nevertheless. . . .
Geese Don't Eat Tomatoes. . .
Or do they???