Stupid things in life

In response to Zhi Wei's recent post about school rules banning coloured spectacles, here's my point of view in a more general sense.

We Malaysians are proud to be Malaysians. We have Malay people, Chinese, Indian and on and on to form a totally unique country.

I don't know about you guys, but foreigners are jus going to look at us and say 'Ceh, Asians'.

Not like we care what they think of anyway. Those thoughts are for losers aren't they?

Anyway, as Zhi Wei aptly put it, Senseless school rules. I am here to show you guys more things hidden in a veil of stupidity in school.

For starters, when I first came to High School Batu Pahat, they started distributing blue cards that says the school rules and such and such. I find the rules particularly amusing. Its funny if you get what I mean. Don't think, that's the keyword.

Well, why do I find it amusing? Let's see here..

Kesalahan-Kesalahan dan Hukuman ( Wrongdoings and punishment )

1. Vandalisme - 10 markah demerit
2. Tidak buat kerja rumah - 5 markah demerit
3. Melawan guru - 10 markah demerit
4. Melawan pengawas - 5 markah demerit

Something like that. You get the general idea. That's not the stupid part. You are thinking man.. DON'T THINK! Here's the funny part.

Kesalahan-Kesalahan berat dan hukuman ( Serious wrongdoings and punishment )
1. Merogol atau mencabuli kehormatan pelajar perempuan - 20 markah demerit
2. Kesalahan mencederakan pelajar lain - 20 markah demerit
3. Mengambil dadah atau merokok - 20 markah demerit.

Seriously, in my school, when I was in form 1, there is only demerit but no merit. And each students start with 100 or 50 ( can't remember, at some point some even said 500 merit points ) and at the end of our education period in school, the behaviour value in our certificate will be based on our merit points.

BULL SHIT.

We can rape at least 2 girls and only get a 'kelakuan buruk' in behaviour value. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FOR???????????

Are you thinking? You are not supposed to. And you know that in an event where a rape occurs, demerit system won't even be in use. The guilty asshole will be apprehended and on to the court with him. So why the fuck do they even bother to put that in? Probably them authorities think students are as senseless as them. If it has to be in, at least the punishments has to be logical ain't it?

And aaaahhh, being a prefect is not easy at all in my school. No talking, have to show a good example.. chosen as the best students among all... no fooling around. All bullshit lar.

Prefects are allowed to go out 10-15 minutes early before recess, and equally long after recess. That means our recess is split into two, before and after recess.

Recently, the management called all prefects to gather round to receive instructions. I shall call the Mr. 1 and Mr.2 and Mr. 3

Mr. 1 goes : "There are teachers complaining that prefects are taking their own sweet time to go into class. Please don't abuse your freedom. Don't tarry too long and go back to class immediately after your recess. There are teachers saying that prefects play truant under the cover of having recess after doing duties. Please don't do that anymore thank you."

Sounds quite ok. Until Mr. 2 comes along.

Mr. 2 goes : " If you are called to help other teachers or senior assistants, please explain to your teacher first. If not they will complain. I know it can't be avoided that prefects go late into class, so next time inform your teacher that you will be late. But don't take too long to inform them, if we ask you to help please come immediately."

Sounds stupid. But still quite ok. Until Mr. 3 comes along.

Mr. 3 goes : "You all prefects don't be lazy. Don't go back to class so early!! Wait until at least 90% of the students are back into their respective classes before you leave your duty post and go back to class! I see many prefects leaving their posts the moment recess ends! Then the students will stay out and not go back to class!"

THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM?? One wants us to go back ASAP, one wants us to inform teachers but be there immediately, and one wants us to go back late. the fuck they want?

And as much as my principal loves the toilet, tries to maintain it and accuses anyone who stays in there more than 3 minutes as collaborating with djinns, my school toilet still sucks. Door cannot lock, toilet cannot flush, pipes cannot off and all. Sure, after principal scold, things were good for a moment. Then it started to revert back to normal. And principal also does not really bother about it. He just like to scold.

Here's a general definition of our Malaysian small-leaders ( I don't include our Prime Minister. So far he hasn't done anything I don't like yet. ) I mean those club leaders.. school leaders and all.

They like to talk. They usually go up stage, talk about one issue for half an hour, then come down and let the others do their job. Then they get the credit.

Here's an example. Zhi Wei and I mimicked the hell out of them.

"Kita mesti bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Kerjasama sangat penting untuk menangani masalah ini eh. Kalau tidak ada kerjasama, masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani lar.. Kalau masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani, maknanya tidak ada kerjasama lar eh? Oleh itu kita mestilah bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Paham?"

Being a prefect ain't easy either. For the entire year, we work for them, we PAY them, we suck up to them, we do their dirty job, we get scolded, and we don't get praised for job well done.

I know because I am a very angry prefect in school. Other prefects usually abandon hope and neglect their duty altogether. I become the victim. I am the unfortunate fucker who happens to be at the place where they abandon duty, and I end up doing work of four prefects. Then in meeting, I am not mentioned ( not that I want, but this sucks ) nor praised, but I am scolded together with them who do not do their job. Occasionally, I have to skip duties for more important issues at hand, I told Head Prefect, but I get the hint when he starts scolding in meetings. So, do work get scold. No do work get scold. And I pay you to scold me. And now as I approach closer to SPM, us form 5 prefects get threatened all the time. Our certs are in jeopardy. The fuck? I understand if my fellow form 5 prefects don't do their duties and I cover for them, I am willing to. But I seriously hate it when its the Form 6 or Form 4 or even Form 3 prefects who escape duty, I cover for them, and us Form 5 gets the scolding.

That's it. No praise, all scold.

And the way they scold, they go about like the pathetic shit they are. They start saying how tough things are for them, how they get scolding from teachers, how we must respect them.. truth is, all they do is walk around chat with their friends and then see who is not at duty. Then scold. Prefects cannot talk when doing duties they say.

I don't mean all head prefects are like that. My school vice head pref is a decent chap :) He knows how to say fuck, and swears like me. But more discreet larrrrr~~

Speaking of swearing, Zhi Wei and I's influence in my class is evident. We started out as a good class. Students with no life but study. Until me and Zhi Wei and Melvin came along.

Half the class started swearing in no time. Even those goody-goody-two-shoes also started swearing. Heck they even know more about foul words than me, some of them.

Just imagine a very innocent looking guy who studies everyday, and seemingly so absorbed in his studies that he does not think about negative values. Then just imagine that guy suddenly looks up and at you, then says 'Fuck!'

DAMNIT LAR DAMN FUNNY YOU KNOW??????????

Waaahhhh...

The next time someone starts saying about how easy it is to download porn or watch porn, I am going to laugh right in his or her face.

A friend asked me where to download Mission Impossible 3 soundtracks. Naturally, I would search for the torrent since bitcomet is such an easy tool to use. And guess what I found.

Click for clearer view.

This is so screwed up. What has the world come to? Such a title for a porn movie?

AND CHECK OUT THE NUMBER OF SEEDERS AND PEERSSSSSSsss

My first time!

Skipped school today. :D

So I asked my friend, bobdog the stupid dog a.k.a. Chong Wei Ming a.k.a. someone-who-has-a-decent-name-but-prefers-a-stupid-name-just-to-be-cute.

"What did you guys do in school today?"

His reply was 1 word. 1 WORD!!

"Nothing."

How cool is that?

Anyway, my aunt left the car for me while she went outstation to play golf. Why must go outstation? I also don't know. But that's the reason why she asked me to skip school. And I am not complaning.

So.. the reason she left the car for me is so that I can buy grandma lunch, whatever she wants to eat.

After buying porridge for her, I thought for 2 years about what I myself wanted to eat. Then I decided that I don't know, and I will go to the nearest restaurant or food business outlet and buy whatever they offer. And I found KFC!! Hey, whose complaining? I always liked KFC's mashed potatoes.

So as I was searching for a parking, I noticed that there were unusually lots of parking spaces. The logical thing to do would be to park closest to the KFC store.

After parking, I went into KFC and came out 3 minutes later. And I saw A RED SLIP ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE WINDSCREEN.

WHAT THE FUCK??????

Kena saman?? Ape benda??

Apparently, the fellow who issued me the summon marked my mistake as 'Meletak kenderaan bermotor di tempat yang menghalang pili bomba'.

I was like, where the hell is the fire hydrant? Then I saw it.

Behind a rubbish bin, and covered with big black trash bags on both sides.

Conspiracy man. So I was like 'Wtf, RM100.' Have to starve five weeks.

Then I keep thinking of ways to tell my aunt. How on earth did I get slapped a fine in 3 minutes. I even thought of offering five weeks worth of allowance to pay for it. Just to be responsible.

When I told my aunt however, her reaction totally totalled me.

"Issued by whom? Majlis or Police?"
"That pink pink one. I think is Majlis one.."
"Majlis one don't bother about it."
"wtf? '_'???"

And oh yeah, I am avoiding KFC for some time now. I could have been out in 1 minute. Thanks to KFC's jabbering staff. That might avoid me getting the fine.

I ordered KFC Zinger meal ( Zinger burger + wedges ), 1 regular coke, and 1 mashed potato! RM9.30. I paid, and left the receipt at the counter, which they cleared it immediately. Pretty efficient.

When I reached home, I found that those FREAKING STAFF DID NOT GIVE ME MY MASHED POTATO!

WHAT THE FUCK????????????????????

Zhi Wei's birthday bash and Hokkien people

Guess who? Yep, 4th of September was Zhi Wei's birthday. Took me long enough to procrastinate until I finally feel like updating now.

17 years old, and not once he celebrated his birthday.

17 years old, and not once he treated his friends.

So on his 17th birthday, his friends TREATED Him! WHAT THE FUCK!@#???$?

As you can see, Christopher and me went off to secret recipe and bought a whole Chocolate Indulgence cake! It costed us RM65 what the fuck.

So here's basically how we got the idea to surprise that fucker on his birthday.

3rd Sept : 8.30pm
I was studying. Then I suddenly feel bored. Then, I suddenly remembered its Zhi Wei's birthday in 3 and a half hours. Then, I suddenly remembered I had friends called ah Kwong and Christopher. Then, I suddenly send SMS-es to them ask whether they want to buy cake. Then, I suddenly realized they are fuckers so they won't reply my SMS-es. Then, I suddenly thought I should call them.

here's what ah Kwong said.

Kwong : Buy cake ar? Ok ok, you all buy. How much money tomorrow tell me.

Walamak... steady man. Next day he tells me he no money.

Christopher : Buy cake ar? I go fetch you now.

Also another steady one. So we went off to Secret Recipe. The very first time in my life to step into a Secret Recipe shop. How pathetic is that?

So.. we spent half an hour choosing. Then Chris bought two brownies and one black pepper lamb pie. I bought one cheese brownie.

Price?

1 cake + 2 brownies + 1 cheese brownie + 1 pie = RM 83. Cha Ching.

So the 2 brownies and the 1 cheese brownie was separately packed. Chris asked the cashier..
"Which is the chocolate brownies and which is the cheese brownie?"
I told him.. "Open it and see lar.. stupid.."
The cashier took one on each hand, without opening it, and told Chris which one is the cheese and which one are the two brownies.

Trick? THE WEIGHT LAR!! ALL THE SAME SIZE, TWO IN ONE BOX AND ONE IN ANOTHER BOX! WHAT THE FUCK LAR WHY SO STUPID ONE???

Standing from left : Ah Kwong, Me, Christopher and Heng Leng, whom I forgot to include in the surprise deal.
Seated : Fucker

Form 6 girls, who happens to be Zhi Wei's mum's ex-students also baked him a cake. Sixteen years he has not celebrated one birthday. And his 17th one turns out to be a double celebration. Oh make that triple, we had Maths Modern Paper that day. 12-14 years in his life, each time birthday sure exam one.. fucker betul. And those form 6 girls said "you all buy one ar? can throw away already..'

This is the cake they baked. You can see Zhi Wei's hands there.. his white pants.. his blazer....

And you can see a blue skirt + white shirt + a tie beside him. Can't remember who is that..









So we compare lor.... they siao siao lor..

The four girls told me : "You all see already cannot tell other people de leh!"

Then, they went around school finding every guy they know to try their cake.









Fucker you better enjoy the cake. Beside fucker is my goooooood friend Han Hong.

And guess what? Fucker doesn't even know how to cut a cake. I had to do everything for him.

Once again.. happy birthday my friend.

On an unrelated issue. Hokkien People.

I notice right.. Hokkien people are funny people. Most of the things we say doesn't make sense. Really!

Here's why.

In most Hokkien people's dictionary..

'Me' is 'Gua'. But it is never used. It is considered bombastic.
Instead, 'Me' is 'Lim Peh', which literally means 'Your father'.

A classic joke I always like is..

Disneyland's fairy tales always starts with 'Once upon a time, in a place far far away..'
Hokkien's fairy tales starts with 'Lim peh kah li kong..' ( you father tell you.. )

I was at restaurants a couple of times. And the TV there shows Astro, and the programmes were hokkien soaps. Usually, it always involves gangsters. Hokkien people seem to think loud is good, crass is better, rude is best.

Anyway, I almost choked when I actually listened to their script.

The hero was getting beaten up. He was tied head down, and then the rope was lowered and he was dunked in a barrel of water. Then he was pulled up, gasping. The chief gangster went near him and said..

"Lim peh jit zhun kah li kong. Le eh lao peh lao bu sama di lim peh eh chiu!"
( Your father now tell you. Your father and mother is in your father's hands )

"Na si le mai ka lim peh kong lui di do lo, lim peh tiok ho le lao peh si "
( If you don't tell me where is the money, your father will kil your father )

Doesn't make sense. What kind of soap is that?

And then right.. every sentence they speak is incomplete without foul words. E.g.

"Wah lao eh hi kor siao gina jin eh si kanina eh pua siu.." ( I won't translate. )

:)

Conclusion? Hokkien people are cool because they don't make sense.

Until then..

Chronicles of my 'life'

Seventeen years and seven months and twelve days ago ( post date ), the boy was born. The boy who lived, at times unfortunately.

Right, to most people who doesn't know me, which practically includes everyone and myself, here's a brief introduction to the greatest guy on earth.

First off, I will skip the part about myself.

Moving on, my familyyy.

My parents are ubercool people. My bro's cool, and my sis is also cool. My bro's handsome, my sis is beautiful.

Let's start with my mum and her cute conversations with me.

Since the age of .. when I first began to have a memory anyway.. mum would go like..

Mum : Son ar, what do you want tell mummy ok?
Me : *stupid arse* I want this.. I want that...
Mum : Okay! No problem! Wait until mummy tiok lottery first!
Me : *stupid stupid arse* Okay!

Promises from the age of five until seventeen. So far, the score of fulfilled vs. unfulfilled remains at 0 : 21. Everything ranging from a car, a mansion, a trip to Disneyland and etc etc.

Finally, at the age of 16, back at my mum's village in Kuala Pilah.

Mum : Son ar, mummy really promise you if tiok first prize in lottery will give you everything ok?
Me : *fucker* Ma.. get first prize also cannot fully pay me lar....

:)

Here's more!

Mum : You know hor.. you are the very product of accident. An accident that resulted in a boy.
Me : Wtf?

And that is why, my bro is 27, my sis is 25.. and I am 17 '_'

Here's a couple more. My mum's super gossip attitude. :D This is the coolest.

Age five : Shit in pants in elementary school.
Age six : My mum asked me my ambition as in occupation. Stupid arse me replied :
"Ma, I will become a car salesman so that next time, what car you want also I give you."

Present date :
Mum to friends : This son ar.. shit in pants you know.
Me : WHAT THE FUCK????

Mum to friends : This son will become a car salesman. Next time I can have any car I want.
Me : '_'|||

Mum, you are so cool!

Here's a couple of coolest ones with my Dad.

Me : Hey dad, bla bla bla..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla bla bla...
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla blab labl ablablablabkla....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok?
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok..
Dad : *grunt*

and this is recently..

Me : Hey dad.. I think I scored like shit in mid year exams..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Really really terribly....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok..

After getting mid year..

Me : Hey dad! I scored straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : I am among the only six to get straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok...

My dad's so cool you need a jacket at times to talk to him. Want to make him talk? Get him drunk first. My dad smokes and drinks.

Age 7 : Dad got home drunk one night. He started singing loudly.. burping and all. I went downstairs to see wtf was happening. Dad saw me, he smiled and laughed, then he came next to me, gave me a can of beer and a packet of cigarrettes. Then he went upstairs to throw up.

And no, I did not smoke or drank what he gave me. Stupid arse..

My bro.. nothing much special. He dotes on me very much, very hardworking, the very exact opposite of me in character. But we never fight. Probably the age gap. My bro's very sensible yes. But since the beginning until now, he had.. 4 or 5 girlfriends. All of them Christians. That makes my mum a bit cranky. My mum believes firmly in Chinese ancestor worshipping, and her own son not holding the joss stick makes her very pissed off. Now my bro is getting married on the 30th September to a Singaporean girl, who also happens to be a Christian.

Here's the funny part. That girl's family, everyone is a devout Buddhist like my mum. Except her, who joined Christianity. And my bro's been dragged along to church, religion yet unknown to me whether he is still Buddhist or Christian now.

So.. my mum was like..

Mum : Son ar.. next time don't be like your bro ar.. preferably find a girl who is a buddhist lar.. don't find those Amen one.. ( in my mum's dict, Amen ones are Christians )
Me : *fucker* Ma, I won't lar.. I promise.. I go find Allah one.. ( and Allah ones are Islams )

My sis and I just share a harmonious relationship. Nothing much exciting between us.

On to friends.

My life with Zhi Wei.

Can't remember since our history goes waaaaaaaaay back until standard 2 or 3. But here's a couple of VERY MEMORABLE ONES. Ones that will show you what kind of fucker he is.

Situation A : At the age of 5, I had my first crush. Can't remember that girl now. Then at the age of 11, I fancied this pretty girl ( who suddenly became freakishly ugly as she grew older ). I did not tell anybody. Until I told Zhi Wei. Then.. I regretted it.

Recess time in Montfort school :
Zhi Wei yelled to everyone.
Z.W : Eh Eh! Come here come here everyone! I tell you one biggggg secret! I tell you who Leslie likes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me : '_'...

And soon... from one name, I gained six nicknames over night.

And I can tell you, Zhi Wei's dad is also cool like my dad. I remember once in primary school. Zhi Wei was walking with his dad at the hall. I approached them.

Me : Uncle.
Zhi Wei's dad : *walks past by..*
Me : Uncle!
Zhi Wei's dad : *continues walking..*
Me : wtf..?
Zhi Wei : *shrugs*

then I remember once I went to Zhi Wei's house. His dad was trying to tembak Zhi Wei.

Z.W.D : My son ar.. has so many video games.. ONE entire album full of it!
Me : Uncle.. I think I have four lar..

:) Until the penguins-potatoes-full-of-shit-rectum-on-fire-chlorophyll-and-many-more stupid philosophies, I guess that's it.

I feel so damn free now. Physics paper is beginning in another 33 hours.

Recently, I also cannot control myself lar.. my mum no need think also can guess.. wah liew eh.. she terus say I gila perempuan. How the hell did she know??

I tell you guys( and girls) honestly lar.. there's this Form 6 girl in my school who happens to catch my eye. She's not pretty. She's not cute. She's short. She's skinny ( maybe not that skinny lar.. ). But she's beautiful..
Get the point.

And I am not going to tell Zhi Wei who she is. I have enough nicknames ranging from 'Leslie' to 'Fucker' already.

Fat guys! I bring hope!

It is scientifically unproven! But this Indian dude I saw just went on ahead with it!

Well, if you are worrying about your Battle of the Bulge, here's the solution to your simple problem!

Ever felt that that tummy is ruining the way you look in every kind of clothes? Ever felt that you want to stop wearing baggy clothes for once? Then go ahead!

I saw this quite fat Indian dude today downtown. My aunt was driving btw. He wore a shirt so tight, I could see his nipples and navel and EVERY STRAND OF HAIR on him. I was like.. 'Oh my god..... this guy looks like.. wtf man..' I told my aunt and she began laughing so hard I felt insecure sitting in the car while she drove.

Ya know, the shirt was so tight, he looked like he had blue ( the shirt was blue btw ) skin instead of normal skin colour. Know those porey-porey shirts that are a bit like singlets? He was wearing them, and the pores are over stretched xD

You gotta admire him man.. walking around half naked. I wanted to take a photo of how absurd he looks, but I was afraid he might suddenly turn around and look at me, then go 'Oi, what the fark?' then he starts throwing mashed roti canai at me.

Trials - 9 and 1/3 subjects over. All that is left is physics I and II. Wish me luck!
Considering my Add Maths already hancur.. All I can hope for now is 9 A1s and 1 more fucked up grade. Pray that its at least a B!

Quiz

Your house has two toilets that you can use.

Situation : You are in a very urgent need to use the bathroom for some multimillion business with the toilet bowl. Both toilets are occupied. One woman in each. One is grandma, One is my aunt. Both can spend up to 20 minutes in the toilet bathing.

What do you do?

I know I came down back to the computer to blog about this =/

AND THEY ARE STILL NOT DONE OMG

Strangeness

People are strange. Period.

Why? Hehehehe, more firing. People find things they aren't used to either to be funny/mad/indecent/heresy. Take Zhi Wei and me for example. One too much stress, and one more stress on the negative side. Both equally crazy. Add together, and you get philosophers. And people look at us and go, "Hey they are funny, but they are mad. The things they say are indecent, and I suspect they are practicing occultism. " '_' And no, nobody accused us of the heresy/occultism thing yet.

So.. is fuck a foul word? I don't think so. Its a verb, and an universal english word. It can be a verb, a pronoun, an adjective whichever way you use it. For e.g.

Fuck you! - Fuck is a verb here.
Fucking Ass! - Fuck(ing) is an adjective.

Point clear?

Anyway, I logged in to Zorpia, which I never bothered to do in a very long time. Friendster is maddening enough. The first thing I saw in 'rate a Zorpian' section is a quite cute girl. I was like, "WOW! let's check it out!"

So.. went to her homepage. Blablabla.. wtf favourite books written as 'Megazine'.

Then, I saw on the comments. This guy was like 'Hey, all the songs you listed as your favourite is my favourite too!' So i decided to check it out. Scroll up to her profile again.

Favourite Music : All Love Songs.

'_'....?

Alright, this is a novelty. I know this kind of profile entry exists everywhere, but finding this desperate guy trying to con the young girl.. trying to assosiate himself with her through this way?????

@nD | dOn'T UnDeRsTaNd wHy Pe0P|e mUsT tYpE |iKe Th|s. ITS FREAKING ANNOYING OKAYAYYYY??????

So I consulted My Master, Master Oh Bee Want. Master Oh Bee, the moment he saw me he was like..

'What'sup mah bitches?'

So I told him what I thought of people, stupid people who likes to act cute, take 50+ photos of every imaginable side of their faces, post it up on friendster, forwarding chain mails that was dated 2 years ago, putting lame and corny love stories in bulletins, TyPiNg LiKe ThIs, and spelling their names like this '~*@xXLeslieXx@*~', and like to post corny stuff on the MSN like 'I will love you forever,' to nobody in apparent.

I remember one of my contacts put their nick '*insert name, I can't remember who!* - I miss you all the time, think of you all the time, I love you so much that I can't stop thinking of you.' Then, in the bar.. it read.. 'Doing assignment. Non-stop assignment. No time to chat or think about anything else ler'.

'_'...........?

Master Oh Bee scratched his balls for a moment, then admitted he did not know. This question rocked his balls so hard he couldn't think.

So.. I was shocked. All-knowing Master Oh Bee, friend of the penguins did not have the answer! But he asked me to approach Master Soda.


Master Soda was happy to see me as usual. The first thing he saw me, he read my mind. Then he said ( in thick carbonated drink bubbling sound )..

"Yes, Girls who exercise, I like them too! The Best their legs are!" Wtf...

So I asked him the questions I asked Master Oh Bee. Master Soda said..

"Fuckers they are. Ignore you must." And I was stumped! Master Soda said something that was completely pointless yet makes sense! And I was so enlightened I couldn't breathe, I could only wheeze and cough.

Master Soda, Master of Master Oh Bee indeed. He definitely lives up to his reputation.

More strangeness. Whenever I see any place needing 'Word Verification' before I can post anything, I always laugh. Because it always says 'Type in the bar as seen in the picture' and I will go like 'Wtf how do you type it in orange, sinusodial shape, and having all sorts of triangular, square and circlular shapes floating around'?

In conclusion : I have trial exams tomorrow and I am wasting time here updating. Wtf.. I amaze myself, as usual.

Note : Pictures taken from www.cuteoverload.com.

Freaky!

Lemme ask you whether this is freaky or not.

On friday night ( 18th August 2006 ), I went to the prefect's year end dinner at Landmark Hotel. Most of the prefects were there, and it was truly a fun night. With friends, eating together, teachers not catching our long hair for once.. photo taking..

So the principal, GPK 1, GPK koko was there. And our beloved prefect's teacher Puan Radzah looked pretty that night xD

So.. we all were in a very high state. Principal also very high. We all first asked the GPK koko up to sing a duet with the PIBG guy from our school. =/ And as usual, for men up to age 55, its 90% the song, 'My Way'.

Then we all wanted to get the principal up by yelling him to sing, Puan Radzah shot us a glare and a NO-NO look. DO it and you DIE! So we all siao siao.. sit down quietly. Then Principal saw puan Radzah glaring at us, and he yelled 'Puan Radzah mau nyanyi??'. Wtf.. asshole betul. His image to me is worse each day.

And the next thing i know? The next day, they told me my GPK koko passed away.

WTF!@(#&!*$%!&%$!@#???????????????????????? ANd he was there the night before, eating with us happily.

'_' some of us began swearing. Why him and why not the principal xD.. what lar haha.. but then, his sudden death really shocked us all. Apparently, badminton killed two of my teachers already, including Mr Abdul Rahman, my GPK koko. He was only around.. 50? After playing badminton, he collapsed and died of a massive heart attack. Didn't even reach the hospital. Poor guy. What can I say? May he be at peace now.

Zhi Wei's in Aussie. And he's enjoying stressing himself while there. '_' What lar wei.. forget your trials lar.. once in a lifetime man..

According to Zhi Wei..
The food he ate there is no where near Malaysian food. And his foster family ( the guys only, male male!! ) *swears like water*. haha xD When I asked my aunt's opinion about this, she exclaimed loudly "What has the Ministry done man!!"

THat's all I guess, until then, adios!

My MSN chat logs..

Today I am featuring my MSN chat logs. Only three of them :)

*update : since the font colour is screwed, and I am lazy to find out how to change it.. highlight it to read it *

First up is with Aisyah, I only saved a small portion of it.

-[oneaisyah]- says:

what r u doing

[Leslie] says:

breathing

[Leslie] says:

producing CO2 for the plants to complete the photosynthesis process

-[oneaisyah]- says:

facsinating .

[Leslie] says:

yeah i know

The next two is with Zhi Wei.

[Leslie] says:

eh

[Leslie] says:

you completed your Dublin essay and did not bother to show me

[Leslie] says:

some friend

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

you didn't ask

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

aisyah ASKED.

[Leslie] says:

DO I HAVE TO ASK!

[Leslie] says:

T KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

HOW I KNOW LA

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

SOMETIMES I ASK THEN YOU SAY

[Leslie] says:

T SORT OF EXCUSE IS THAT!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

"LIKE I CARE"

[Leslie] says:

I HAVE TO ASK!@

[Leslie] says:

!@&#!@#$

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

POTATO LA

[Leslie] says:

you should go like

[Leslie] says:

'Oh great leslie, i have completed an essay, may i show it to you now'

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

even if my ass is on fire i won't do that

[Leslie] says:

OF COURSE YOU WON'T DO THAT IF YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE YOU IDIOT

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THATS WHY

[Leslie] says:

SO YOU MUST DO IT WHILE YOUR ASS IS NOT ON FIRE

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

AND DID YOU KNOW THAT PENGUINS DONT EAT POTATOES?!

[Leslie] says:

YES I KNOW

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THAT"S WHY I DIDN"T TELL YOU

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

COS PENGUINS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

DONT EAT

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

POTATOES!

[Leslie] says:

BUT PENGUINS BREATHE

[Leslie] says:

THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU MUST TELL ME

[Leslie] says:

BECAUSE

[Leslie] says:

PENGUINS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

PENGUINS DONT HAVE PETROL EITHER

[Leslie] says:

BREATHE

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THEY DONT NEED TO PAY THE STUPID 30 CENTS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

AND THEN I REALLY DONT LIKE THAT RAPPER 50 CENT

[Leslie] says:

AND BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY 30 CENTS!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

COS HE CALLS HIMSELF 50 CENT INSTEAD OF 50 CENTS

[Leslie] says:

YOU MUST SHOW ME YOUR ESSAY AND GROVEL!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN INSULT IS THAT TO THE PLURAL WORDS IN ENGLISH!?!!!

[Leslie] says:

YES I KNOW AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU MUST SHOW ME

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

MASHED POTATOES ARE IN HEAVEN

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

negaraku

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tanah tumpahnya darahku

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

rakyat hidup

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

bersatu dan maju

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

rahmat bahagia

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tuhan kurniakan

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

raja kita

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

selamat bertaktha

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

*takhta

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

terima kasih banyak banyak

[Leslie] says:

eh

[Leslie] says:

everyone who is depressed and find life meaningless

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

kertas jadikan koyak-koyak

[Leslie] says:

should have a look at our conversation

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

arnab suka makan lobak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

dan tak akan makan katak'

[Leslie] says:

katakan tak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

katak hidup bawah tempurung

[Leslie] says:

katakan tak nak

[Leslie] says:

sekarang jugak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tiap tiap hari tunjuk muka yang murung

[Leslie] says:

nanti saya cakap terima kasih manyak manyak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

sebelum hujan sediakan payung

[Leslie] says:

kacang lupakan kulit

[Leslie] says:

kalah jadi abu menang jadi arang

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

something yung

Yes I know its freaking long. Here's the second one.

[Leslie] says:

s'up

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sdown

[Leslie] says:

penguins up

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

polar bears down

[Leslie] says:

yes yes..

[Leslie] says:

s'left

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sright

[Leslie] says:

roti canai left

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

rotibomright

[Leslie] says:

yes yes..

[Leslie] says:

s'middle

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

nono

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sbetween

[Leslie] says:

teh tarik middle

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

milo ais between

[Leslie] says:

good good

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

bad bad

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sFUCK

[Leslie] says:

I JUST TYPED IT LOLLLLLLLLLL

The point here is......................................................................

......................................

.........

........................

There is no point xD Just to waste your time!

Screwed up..

First and foremost, people! Here I officially launch a mogok against Dickson's blog because he used the photo I found to attract girls without crediting me nor sharing with me the chicks he attracted. Dickson suck!! Down with Dick!!

Right on to this post.

The PM has mentioned, bloggers beware. You might get arrested for 'menimbulkan isu sensitif' and criticisms are allowed only if they are constructive. So here I am to criticize.

If you have the time.. log on to www.tutor.com.my. Supposedly, a Malaysian site prepared to help students. Look through the EST paper.

You will find that ;
1) The passages suck. The questions even suckier.
2) The sample answers suck.
3) WTF they used 'If U want to maintain health.. U should..'
4) The title is 'Promoting Liver Health'. They start talking about kidneys and body.
5) Sample essay answers suck.
6) This is an essay question. Given three ( the fulcrum.. bla bla ) machine parts ( or systems, whatever they called them ), form a machine compound with two of them. My question. Machine for what? HOW THE HELL DO I FORM A MACHINE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S ITS PURPOSE FOR!@#$??$?@?$?!@$#!&@%#$

And the EST subject. Its decent, but the thing is, the it can be improved. A lot more space for that. Either that, or abolish it completely. Start by getting people with decent English mastery and good Scientific knowledge to form a proper syllabus, instead of randomly popping around current issues. AND FOR GODS SAKE RELATE THE ARTICLE TO THE TITLE!!!!!!

Done ranting.

Onwards.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Very Slight
Dysthymia:	High-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Very Slight
Cyclothymia:	Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Slight
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

Took the test Bee took. Not very accurate. Certain questions ( something like ) like 'are you feeling sad' and such, well, I couldn't answer them. Why?

Because : I don't have a life. And because I don't have a life, I don't care.

Thing is, no answer option for 'don't care'. So I picked no =/

Symptoms for Cyclothymia and Dysthymia from the site too.

This is for Cyclothymia.

Hypomanic Phase

• Excessive confidence and self-esteem
• Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
• Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
• Heightened irritability
• Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions
• Hypomania lasts between several days and several weeks

Depressive Phase

• Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
• Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
• Fatigue, lack of energy
• Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
• Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
• Depression lasting between several days and several weeks

This is for Dysthymia.

Symptoms of Dysthymia

• Long-term depression, sadness, anxiety
• Fatigue, difficulty falling asleep or waking and not being able to fall back asleep
• Problems with memory or concentration
• Low self-esteem, guilt, or negative thinking; self-critical
• Depression seems part of one's personality, gloomy, no joy
• Unable to remember last time one was happy, confident, or inspired
• Unexpected weight loss or gain, eating problems
• Symptoms present for over two years

Go figure.

Some people don't understand what I mean by not having a life.

Lemme explain here.

My life has practically been drawn out in the modern day society. In fact, this applies to almost every individual who thinks they have a life. Anyway, this is the basic guidelines to lead your time in this world.

Age 1~3 : Enjoy life as the Emperor
Age 4~24 : Start studying, tuition, learn piano, learn this learn that, must win others, tuition must more, study must more, results must be better, get scholarships and be a successful doctor/lawyer/engineer/accountant. Whatever happened to farming, cattle raising and other agricultural activities?? You people think the meat you eat fell from the sky ar?

Age 24~60 : Start work. Work work work. Money Money Money. Sex Sex Sex. Then Pension.

Age 60 onwards : Be a parasite leeching your kids until you die, or be treated as one and get dumped away.

Age 0~death : MUST KEEP IN TIME! in time for school, in time for work, in time to sleep.... there is even a guideline at a time that says what time to have sex. wtf?

My idea of life :
Age 1~7 : Enjoy
Age 7~11 : Be taught the basics of local languages and basic science.
Age 11~20 : Given a choice to learn whatever skills I want minus the competition.
Age 20~60 : Be able to enjoy work, have a great social life, get a wife who suits me very well and the money can fuck themselves. Who cares about money =/ I prefer health and food and sex.

Age 60 onwards : Enjoy life again, living off own savings. If kid feels generous, he can raise me.

Smething like that lar.. I never had to lead that kind of life before. COmplete freedom. never know whether it will work.
I suppose in the course of advancements.. we dump our life away and replace it with a zeal for comfort. Nobody seems interested in finding out the truth.

So lemme post a few questions here.
1) What if the entire galactic system around us is but an electron of a molecule?
2) So we are advancing. Where are we going towards?
3) Define time.
4) Where do we go after we die?

I suppose that's it. Its time to sleep * fuck it *. I just don't seem to care.. do I?
I am not happy.. I am not sad.. I don't even know my emotions anymore. =/ It all seems fleeting. Doesn't change anything.