Chronicles of my 'life'

Seventeen years and seven months and twelve days ago ( post date ), the boy was born. The boy who lived, at times unfortunately.

Right, to most people who doesn't know me, which practically includes everyone and myself, here's a brief introduction to the greatest guy on earth.

First off, I will skip the part about myself.

Moving on, my familyyy.

My parents are ubercool people. My bro's cool, and my sis is also cool. My bro's handsome, my sis is beautiful.

Let's start with my mum and her cute conversations with me.

Since the age of .. when I first began to have a memory anyway.. mum would go like..

Mum : Son ar, what do you want tell mummy ok?
Me : *stupid arse* I want this.. I want that...
Mum : Okay! No problem! Wait until mummy tiok lottery first!
Me : *stupid stupid arse* Okay!

Promises from the age of five until seventeen. So far, the score of fulfilled vs. unfulfilled remains at 0 : 21. Everything ranging from a car, a mansion, a trip to Disneyland and etc etc.

Finally, at the age of 16, back at my mum's village in Kuala Pilah.

Mum : Son ar, mummy really promise you if tiok first prize in lottery will give you everything ok?
Me : *fucker* Ma.. get first prize also cannot fully pay me lar....

:)

Here's more!

Mum : You know hor.. you are the very product of accident. An accident that resulted in a boy.
Me : Wtf?

And that is why, my bro is 27, my sis is 25.. and I am 17 '_'

Here's a couple more. My mum's super gossip attitude. :D This is the coolest.

Age five : Shit in pants in elementary school.
Age six : My mum asked me my ambition as in occupation. Stupid arse me replied :
"Ma, I will become a car salesman so that next time, what car you want also I give you."

Present date :
Mum to friends : This son ar.. shit in pants you know.
Me : WHAT THE FUCK????

Mum to friends : This son will become a car salesman. Next time I can have any car I want.
Me : '_'|||

Mum, you are so cool!

Here's a couple of coolest ones with my Dad.

Me : Hey dad, bla bla bla..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla bla bla...
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla blab labl ablablablabkla....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok?
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok..
Dad : *grunt*

and this is recently..

Me : Hey dad.. I think I scored like shit in mid year exams..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Really really terribly....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok..

After getting mid year..

Me : Hey dad! I scored straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : I am among the only six to get straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok...

My dad's so cool you need a jacket at times to talk to him. Want to make him talk? Get him drunk first. My dad smokes and drinks.

Age 7 : Dad got home drunk one night. He started singing loudly.. burping and all. I went downstairs to see wtf was happening. Dad saw me, he smiled and laughed, then he came next to me, gave me a can of beer and a packet of cigarrettes. Then he went upstairs to throw up.

And no, I did not smoke or drank what he gave me. Stupid arse..

My bro.. nothing much special. He dotes on me very much, very hardworking, the very exact opposite of me in character. But we never fight. Probably the age gap. My bro's very sensible yes. But since the beginning until now, he had.. 4 or 5 girlfriends. All of them Christians. That makes my mum a bit cranky. My mum believes firmly in Chinese ancestor worshipping, and her own son not holding the joss stick makes her very pissed off. Now my bro is getting married on the 30th September to a Singaporean girl, who also happens to be a Christian.

Here's the funny part. That girl's family, everyone is a devout Buddhist like my mum. Except her, who joined Christianity. And my bro's been dragged along to church, religion yet unknown to me whether he is still Buddhist or Christian now.

So.. my mum was like..

Mum : Son ar.. next time don't be like your bro ar.. preferably find a girl who is a buddhist lar.. don't find those Amen one.. ( in my mum's dict, Amen ones are Christians )
Me : *fucker* Ma, I won't lar.. I promise.. I go find Allah one.. ( and Allah ones are Islams )

My sis and I just share a harmonious relationship. Nothing much exciting between us.

On to friends.

My life with Zhi Wei.

Can't remember since our history goes waaaaaaaaay back until standard 2 or 3. But here's a couple of VERY MEMORABLE ONES. Ones that will show you what kind of fucker he is.

Situation A : At the age of 5, I had my first crush. Can't remember that girl now. Then at the age of 11, I fancied this pretty girl ( who suddenly became freakishly ugly as she grew older ). I did not tell anybody. Until I told Zhi Wei. Then.. I regretted it.

Recess time in Montfort school :
Zhi Wei yelled to everyone.
Z.W : Eh Eh! Come here come here everyone! I tell you one biggggg secret! I tell you who Leslie likes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me : '_'...

And soon... from one name, I gained six nicknames over night.

And I can tell you, Zhi Wei's dad is also cool like my dad. I remember once in primary school. Zhi Wei was walking with his dad at the hall. I approached them.

Me : Uncle.
Zhi Wei's dad : *walks past by..*
Me : Uncle!
Zhi Wei's dad : *continues walking..*
Me : wtf..?
Zhi Wei : *shrugs*

then I remember once I went to Zhi Wei's house. His dad was trying to tembak Zhi Wei.

Z.W.D : My son ar.. has so many video games.. ONE entire album full of it!
Me : Uncle.. I think I have four lar..

:) Until the penguins-potatoes-full-of-shit-rectum-on-fire-chlorophyll-and-many-more stupid philosophies, I guess that's it.

I feel so damn free now. Physics paper is beginning in another 33 hours.

Recently, I also cannot control myself lar.. my mum no need think also can guess.. wah liew eh.. she terus say I gila perempuan. How the hell did she know??

I tell you guys( and girls) honestly lar.. there's this Form 6 girl in my school who happens to catch my eye. She's not pretty. She's not cute. She's short. She's skinny ( maybe not that skinny lar.. ). But she's beautiful..
Get the point.

And I am not going to tell Zhi Wei who she is. I have enough nicknames ranging from 'Leslie' to 'Fucker' already.