Wah I want to swear

I am being Cantonese-ed. I mean seriously, my cantonese still suck like fuck, but I am beginning to get used to the language.

Today in BP, I was at a coffee shop, when an old lady came and take our orders.

"Ai Lim simik?" ---> ( Hokkien for 'Want drink what?' )
"Yao meh sui?" ---> ( I asked. Cantonese for 'Got what drinks?' )

Old lady : '_'
Old lady : -_-
Old lady : '_'????????????????????

Damn it.

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My computer is seriously going. It is crashing every 1-40 minutes.

And I just bought a new wireless optical mouse for my laptop. Funny thing is, it costs RM50. Ok that's not funny. Funnier thing is, it runs on AA batteries. WTF.

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I am extremely fucked. Apparently I just realized one thing. With friendster merging stupid comments and stupid testimonials as one feature.. I am getting 'cut-copy-paste-' testimonials/comments.

Argh, the agony of watching camwhorers posting me testimonials that read 'With this testimonial, I send you my love, friendship forever ^^ :P :D ;) '

I say FUCK YOU! Friendship forever? Fuck we hardly talk online/reality! Fuck we hardly meet anymore/NEVER MEET BEFORE. Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!

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Called a senior about INTEC.

From his description, its sounds more like a non-military education-based national service.

"You get a bed, a locker and a table, and share the apartment-dorm like room with 5 other people."

Fuck. Its a half day walk to the nearest KTM from there. And I hate buses.

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Back to nonsense.

Zhi Wei tagged me with some stupid thing. I suppose I am free enough to do it.

5 Things found in your bag
1. Smelly smell
2. Looky look
3. Heary hear
4. Tasty taste
5. feely feel

That answer your question?

5 Things found in your purse/wallet
1. Money
2. My Pictures
3. No Money
4. My cards
5. Nothing

5 Favourite things in your room
1. Big Bed
2. Thick Bed
3. Big Blanket
4. Thick Blanket
5. Lots of hot women in bikinis lying on my bed

5 Types of humans
1. Those who worship me
2. Those who do not worship me
3. Those that eat potatoes
4. Those that do not eat potatoes
5. Those that looks like pandas

5 Things you've always wanted to do
1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Play
4. Shit
5. Fuck around like an asshole

5 Things you're currently into
1. Into water
2. Toilet
3. Penguins
4. Pandas
5. Potatoes

5 People you tag
1. Any kind sound who is stupid enough to do this 1 ( Me excluded )
2. Any kind sound who is stupid enough to do this 2
3. Any kind sound who is stupid enough to do this 3
4. Any kind sound who is stupid enough to do this 4
5. Any kind sound who is stupid enough to do this 5

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1) Name one person who made you smile last night.
- Myself

2) What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
- I think I was sleeping, dreaming about how rich I was, and dreaming having the entire world worshipping me.

3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
- Reading this stupid survey in Zhi Wei's blog, and nudging Aimee

4) What was something that happened to you in 2006?
- Everything

5) What is the last thing you said aloud?
- WAH WTF!?

6) How many different things did you drink today?
- Potato Juice

7) What color is your hairbrush?
- FUCK YOU LAR! Want laugh at my hair that is not grown back yet is it? FUCK YOU!

8) What was the last thing you paid for?
- Erm, KKKL bus ticket to KL. Sounds nice.

9) Where were you last night?
- Toilet

10) What color is your front door?
- This is an interesting rhetorical question. It can answer everything in the universe, and explain creation.

Brown....................NOT!

11) Where do you keep your change?
- Under the toilet bowl

12) What is the weather like today?
- Weather is weather. What you want me say? Its sick? Its healthy? Its fucking around and producing bad weathers????? Or its fucking around and its happy and we get good weathers?? I say fuck weather.

13) What is the best ice cream flavor?
- Potato.

14) What is something you are excited about?
- I am excited about.. come to think of it.. I am so apathetic I don't actually care -_-

15) Do you want to cut your hair?
- OI! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH HOR! KEEP LAUGHING AT MY HAIR ONLY MAFUCKERS!

16) Are you over the age of 25?
- 1 + 8 = 9. 2 + 5 = 7. 9 is over 7. Yes I am over 25 you idiot asking stupid question.

17) Do you talk a lot?
- I don't talk. I enlighten.

18) Do you watch The O.C.?
- What the hell is that.

19) Do you know anyone named Steven?
- I know 3 of them. I can see no relevance in this question to anything, unless the person who created this questionnaire is a guy who happens to be a homosexual with a fetish for guys named Steven. Yes I know people named Steven.

20) Do you make up your own words?
- Nejo Maka Owna Wada. Nejo genuisa. RIDIPULITAKA!

21) Are you typically a jealous person?
- I am jealous that there is someone out there who is jealous of me but i don't know who

22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter “A”
- uh.. Aimee?

23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter “K”
- Kanasai. I think.. erm.. Kumaran?

24) Who’s the 1st person on your received calls list?
- Mum. She called me to hang up on me. Nah just joking.

25) What did the last text message you received say?
- Damn private ok. Ok lar, let you know lar.
"Yes can wear jeans but not on Mondays" - Phang Jim

26) Do you chew on your straws?
- Why not. Straws are a delicacy in this world. Not everyone in this world can eat straw, or chew straw. In fact, it is more an acquired taste, something like blood.

27) Do you have curly hair?
- Mother fucker, enough about hair ok?

28) Where is the next place you’re going?
- Toilet

29) Who is the rudest person in your life?
- Myself

30) What is the last thing you ate?
- Some bun. I can see that this information is going to make you a millionaire, whoever 'you' is.

31) Is marriage in your future?
- Problem is I love women too much to love a woman.

32) What is the best movie you’ve seen in the past two weeks?
- Let me think. Don't call me, I'll call you.

33) Is there anyone you like right now?
- Of course yes. Myself.

34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
- The last time I did MY dishes.

35) Are you currently depressed?
- Do I look like I am depressed? I ma gonna shoot somebody just for the heck of it and say 'Hell no I am not depressed.'

36) Did you cry today?
- Nope. Why the hell would I cry for no apparent reason. I am not those people who goes 'Love hurts the most. I am dying. God please help me. I need to love that girl, and ultimately fuck the hell out of her. God, your payment would be when she's screaming 'OH MY GOD OH MY GOD'. Deal?'

37) Why did you answer and post this?
- I have no idea. I was too jobless, and I thought if zhi wei did it, its probably stupid enough for me to do.

38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey
Same.

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Anyway, here's an interesting friendster bulletin my friend Kumaran posted.

Hell - Explained by a Chemistry tuition.

Actual exam in Washington ok? Don't play play.

Question : Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

Most of the students wrote proofs of other beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats whent is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets toHell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.As for how many souls are enteringHell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and taking into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Apparently he got an A+.

Fuck, that's what I call a genius.