Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hail the new philosophy

Before we begin...

WARNING : This post contains obscenities. Parental Guidance is ( NEVER invite any adults here or I am as good as dead ) advised. Not suitable for kids under 15 and those who value their sanity. Read at your own risk.


Alright, after the entire "Penguins don't eat Potatoes" fiasco, we have a new philosophy. Its profoundly obscene, and to be honest.. its funny to us ( meaning me and Zhi Wei ). Zhi Wei refuses to claim any credit because it sounds so obscene, so I am going to name him "Mr. Z". Now who is Mr Z? Nobody knows right!?

Anyway, it started on TEACHER'S DAY. School was.. how shall I put it.. Extreme fun. It exceeded our demands for time wasting and feeling bored activities. So, we went off to the school library, all three of us ( Me, Zhi Wei and Wee Kwong ).

We started crapping and laughing among ourselves like nutcases. Hey, thankfully the library was empty =.=" But I could feel the librarian was... let's just say she is shocked.

Then, finally we settled down with books. Ah Kwong started revising his history notes. I was staring at my history notes. And Zhi Wei was laughing by himself.

So, I stumbled upon this question in the book. It goes.. something like this..

"Zaman Neolitik.. bla bla.. merupakan permulaan tamadun manusia.. bla bla.. Nyatakan ciri-ciri"

So I was like.. starting to mentally list out the "Ciri-ciri"s... Then when I checked the answer..

Jawapan : Sila rujuk bahagian "Neolitik" di muka surat !@#.

WTF KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?

So i showed it to Mr Z. He laughed and started saying "Bercucuk Tanam". Here's the dialogue about the birth of the new philosophy. Something like that anyway, you get the general idea.

Mr Z : It's bercucuk tanam ain't it?
Me : Yup.
Mr Z : Actually right, humans are also produced by 'Bercucuk Tanam'.
Me : @_@??
Mr Z : See ar.. the guy Cucuk, then he tanam the seeds. That is how humans are produced.
Me : Wahlao eh damn cool!
Mr Z : That is why.. humans are actually plants!
Me : That can walk, talk, eat, run, and have sex.
Mr Z : And all plants have chloroplasts..
Me : So where's our chloroplasts?
Mr Z : Up your rectum.
Me : I SEE! So that is the main reason why we cannot produce food ourselves! Because there is no sunlight there!

So you should get it by now. Humans are plants that walk and has chlorophyll. And the reason we cannot produce our own food is because all the chloroplasts are up our rectum, or anus, or asshole, and there is no sunlight there!


Anyway, I find that freaking funny. Ah Kwong was trying very hard to revise there, and we were talking about chloroplasts in human's rectum. He was shaking his head vigorously. Poor guy.

So, another guy came in. Our classmate. This joke was freaking funny at that time, I don't know about typing it here now, but here goes. I call that guy Mr. SG

Mr SG : You guys saw my Maths book in the class?
Mr Z : No.
Mr SG : Who could have taken it?
Mr Z : Actually right, its some form 6 girl who likes you. She took it for you but she dare not tell you because she likes you too much.
Mr SG : Yeah right, and who is she? Where can I find her ( very sarcastic tone )
Mr Z : You can find..
Me : The one that's not wearing any shirt.
Mr Z : OMG *BURST INTO LAUGHTER*

That was sick. I didn't know why I became so spontaneous and blurted out that sick stuff lol.

So cool lar.. it's just so cool I can just sit here and say "Cooooooooooooooooool~~......"

Anyway, here's a little interesting information.

Form 6 in HSBP this year. 300 students. Out of 300. 250+ girls. And so far I have not spotted any hot chicks. Damn disappointed lar! I mean, its 250+ girls! If there is not a single hot chick.. oh my god..

After another week or two.. we expect it to be reduced to 100 or less. Many are "tumpang students" who are waiting for scholarships or just waiting to go.

And in reference with the chroloplast theory, I started calling one of my friends "Chroloboy" which brings the meaning "Up-your-ass-kid". How cool.

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