Sunday, April 15, 2007

Language

Despite my ailments, maladies and uncountable sickness, I shall persevere and publish a post for the sake of my fans.

Today, Professor Leslie shall touch on a couple of subjects. But the primary subject here shall be the English Language ( since he basically sucks at every other languages ).

Professor Leslie shall emphasize on spelling and the importance of key words in a sentence.

First and foremost, kids, remember all the time that every word has a specific spelling, and possibly multiple meanings. You would not want to misspell a word, as it might have disastrous effects on the entire sentence. ( Sounds professional, no? )

For example, here's a correct sentence.

"Public announcement, would student Aimee Lee please report to the mental hospital for a medical check up?"

And what happens if some words are spelled wrongly, or used wrongly? Here's an example.

"Pubic announcement, would student Aima Li please report to the mutant hospital for a musical check up?"

The result becomes a totally interesting sentence. You get the idea on the importance of spelling now?

Another example of a correct sentence.

"The sick buck was killed and eaten by the farmer."

So, what happens if...?

"The sick fuck was milled and kitten by the former."

Basically, what I am trying to point out is that the meaning can change dramatically if you misspell. This is because of the recent matter in China where they are all hyped up about their direct Chinese-English translations.

Some of them went 'Please go behind this wall to get to the toilet.', 'Elevator inside this wall', and such. The menus went 'Fucking chicken high on drugs,' 'Fried Dick in Bun' and something like that.

On a totally related but unrelated issue, I have to touch on the words used by certain groups on the net. Boy, girl, young man, lecherous old man, horny girls, all included, so basically there is no finger pointing.

There is a common use of a form of language known as 'txt spking', where the abbreviation and short-forms for everything is used, usually in communicating in the form of SMS-es and MSN-ing.

Myself, I try to avoid it as much as possible. However, this 'thing' is quite a rampant problem, since some words formed can have different meaning than intended, but you get the idea anyway. Txt Spking is basically formed under the influence of pronounciations, thus the spelling of words are altered to suit the way the word sounds like.

For example.
Someone would like to reply to his anxious friend that he is arriving.
Normally, in a simple SMS, it would read 'I am coming.'
However, in Txt Spking, it would read 'I m cumming.'

If you do not catch the ball yet, it meant he is achieving orgasm.

Another example,
Someone who is eating is trying to reply to his/her friend who asked what he/she was doing.
Normally, it would read 'I am eating.'
However, in Txt Spking, it would read 'I m ETing'.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?? 'I am Extra-Terrestial-ing.' What, you having sex with some aliens????

So kind folks, please try and activate 'dictionary' in your SMS and not be lazy to type the entire word. It is not wrong to use txt spking, but it is wrong to use it.

Note/Disclaimer : Professor Leslie is not claiming he is good in English, and not trying to discriminate anyone. The above post is, as usual, meant for entertainment.

____________________________________________________________________

On an unrelated issue,

I have a new handphone! I asked my brother for a Nokia N73 ME edition when he offered to reward me for my 10A1s.

But my father was suddenly diagnosed with colon cancer, and to date, tens of thousands ( 12k actually ) have been spent for his treatment. He is getting better now, and there is only a remote chance he would require chemotheraphy. Chemo in government hospitals don't cost that much, so basically there's not much to think about for now.

So financial wise, I asked my brother to postpone the gift he is giving me since he just poured out millions for my dad. But his wife's brother happened to buy a new phone, and Singapore's M1 happened to just turned 10 years old, and happened to have a promotion of 'Buy 1 Free 1'. Whether its an exact same model given free, I don't know, but I do know that it is contract free.

So I got the extra phone. Samsung Z240. I wouldn't complain too much since its free, but I shall complain much anyway. First and foremost, I wanted N73 because of its 3 MP camera and 2GB memory space. Two most essential requirements in my ideal phone now. I wanted a phone to store songs, and with a decent camera so that I can every now and then take pictures and upload it in my blog.

Samsung Z240. First things first why I don't like it.

Samsung messaging system : Look, I don't know what the fuck is the problem between Nokia and Samsung, but being a Nokia user, I do have some problems with Samsung's SMS thingy. I accidentally turned off 'Dictionary', and I cannot fucking figure out how to turn it back on. And besides, Samsung features the spacebar under the 'hex' button while Nokia uses it in the number '0' button. So you can imagine how hard a time I have typing a single SMS. And besides, Nokia phones delete messages at a rate if you hold down 'backspace', but Samsung phones just delete the entire message if you hold it for a certain seconds. SO YOU PROBABLY CAN IMAGINE THE NUMBER OF MESSAGES I DELETED WITHOUT SENDING???????

Phone memory : 62.5MB. Sucks. 6-10 songs, and it is fucked.

Camera : 2.6 MP. Quite ok, considering its a phone.

Sound : Damn soft. The only thing to alert me of a phone call is when it vibrates. Even then, not always.

Annoying key tones. Calendar's wrong but I don't know how to adjust it. I can't figure out how to change ringtones at first.

Basically, it all comes down to one thing. I am a Nokia user, therefore I hate Samsung phones.

Oh and don't mention to me about N95. I will hit you.

___________________________________________________________________

This is the last topic here.

Friendster.

Its getting stupider.

And so am I for using it everyday.

First they introduced 'comments', to let every user post a message for another user without needing to be approved. So basically comments are unapproved testimonials of sorts.

But there were problems. A user doesn't know it when people leaves comments on his/her profiles, because there are no notifications, and the user can't see it when he/she is logged in.

So, after sometime, friendster decides its too smart and too lazy. They NEED to do something hardworking but stupid. So they merged comments and testimonials together, making it totally the same. Instead of making notifications for comments or enabling the user to see when comments are given. Merging it is the stupidest option, so they went ahead for it.

Now, comments are testimonials requiring approval from user, and testimonials are comments requiring approval from user. They are even displayed in the same place.

Other things still the same. Camwhorers everywhere, chain bulletins, chain mails, shout-outs saying they are going to suicide and such.

Oh, two girls added me instead of all guys ( FINALLY! But I did not approved yet because I don't know them, and they look like the type who wants to add people just to extend their list. I avoid those because I only want my friends list to be people I really know. Fuck the feature about making friends online, nobody keeps in touch anyway.). But there are still unknown guys trying to add me. I should get screened for 'gay attraction rating'.

=/

2 comments:

Zhi Wei said...

haha i'm guilty of txtspk.. more used to that style of sms-ing than using the dictionary lah..

Anonymous said...

fine lah.i am a patient of a mental hospital lah.

It is not wrong to use txt spking, but it is wrong to use it.

HAHAHHA

what the fuck is wrong with you? no wait, everything's wrong with you!

-aima