In response to
Zhi Wei's recent post about school rules banning coloured spectacles, here's my point of view in a more general sense.
We Malaysians are proud to be Malaysians. We have Malay people, Chinese, Indian and on and on to form a totally unique country.
I don't know about you guys, but foreigners are jus going to look at us and say 'Ceh, Asians'.
Not like we care what they think of anyway. Those thoughts are for losers aren't they?
Anyway, as Zhi Wei aptly put it, Senseless school rules. I am here to show you guys more things hidden in a veil of stupidity in school.
For starters, when I first came to High School Batu Pahat, they started distributing blue cards that says the school rules and such and such. I find the rules particularly amusing. Its funny if you get what I mean. Don't think, that's the keyword.
Well, why do I find it amusing? Let's see here..
Kesalahan-Kesalahan dan Hukuman ( Wrongdoings and punishment )
1. Vandalisme - 10 markah demerit
2. Tidak buat kerja rumah - 5 markah demerit
3. Melawan guru - 10 markah demerit
4. Melawan pengawas - 5 markah demerit
Something like that. You get the general idea. That's not the stupid part. You are thinking man.. DON'T THINK! Here's the funny part.
Kesalahan-Kesalahan berat dan hukuman ( Serious wrongdoings and punishment )
1. Merogol atau mencabuli kehormatan pelajar perempuan - 20 markah demerit
2. Kesalahan mencederakan pelajar lain - 20 markah demerit
3. Mengambil dadah atau merokok - 20 markah demerit.
Seriously, in my school, when I was in form 1, there is only demerit but no merit. And each students start with 100 or 50 ( can't remember, at some point some even said 500 merit points ) and at the end of our education period in school, the behaviour value in our certificate will be based on our merit points.
BULL SHIT.
We can rape at least 2 girls and only get a 'kelakuan buruk' in behaviour value. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FOR???????????
Are you thinking? You are not supposed to. And you know that in an event where a rape occurs, demerit system won't even be in use. The guilty asshole will be apprehended and on to the court with him. So why the fuck do they even bother to put that in? Probably them authorities think students are as senseless as them. If it has to be in, at least the punishments has to be logical ain't it?
And aaaahhh, being a prefect is not easy at all in my school. No talking, have to show a good example.. chosen as the best students among all... no fooling around. All bullshit lar.
Prefects are allowed to go out 10-15 minutes early before recess, and equally long after recess. That means our recess is split into two, before and after recess.
Recently, the management called all prefects to gather round to receive instructions. I shall call the Mr. 1 and Mr.2 and Mr. 3
Mr. 1 goes : "There are teachers complaining that prefects are taking their own sweet time to go into class. Please don't abuse your freedom. Don't tarry too long and go back to class immediately after your recess. There are teachers saying that prefects play truant under the cover of having recess after doing duties. Please don't do that anymore thank you."
Sounds quite ok. Until Mr. 2 comes along.
Mr. 2 goes : " If you are called to help other teachers or senior assistants, please explain to your teacher first. If not they will complain. I know it can't be avoided that prefects go late into class, so next time inform your teacher that you will be late. But don't take too long to inform them, if we ask you to help please come immediately."
Sounds stupid. But still quite ok. Until Mr. 3 comes along.
Mr. 3 goes : "You all prefects don't be lazy. Don't go back to class so early!! Wait until at least 90% of the students are back into their respective classes before you leave your duty post and go back to class! I see many prefects leaving their posts the moment recess ends! Then the students will stay out and not go back to class!"
THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM?? One wants us to go back ASAP, one wants us to inform teachers but be there immediately, and one wants us to go back late. the fuck they want?
And as much as my principal loves the toilet, tries to maintain it and accuses anyone who stays in there more than 3 minutes as collaborating with djinns, my school toilet still sucks. Door cannot lock, toilet cannot flush, pipes cannot off and all. Sure, after principal scold, things were good for a moment. Then it started to revert back to normal. And principal also does not really bother about it. He just like to scold.
Here's a general definition of our Malaysian small-leaders ( I don't include our Prime Minister. So far he hasn't done anything I don't like yet. ) I mean those club leaders.. school leaders and all.
They like to talk. They usually go up stage, talk about one issue for half an hour, then come down and let the others do their job. Then they get the credit.
Here's an example. Zhi Wei and I mimicked the hell out of them.
"Kita mesti bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Kerjasama sangat penting untuk menangani masalah ini eh. Kalau tidak ada kerjasama, masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani lar.. Kalau masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani, maknanya tidak ada kerjasama lar eh? Oleh itu kita mestilah bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Paham?"
Being a prefect ain't easy either. For the entire year, we work for them, we PAY them, we suck up to them, we do their dirty job, we get scolded, and we don't get praised for job well done.
I know because I am a very angry prefect in school. Other prefects usually abandon hope and neglect their duty altogether. I become the victim. I am the unfortunate fucker who happens to be at the place where they abandon duty, and I end up doing work of four prefects. Then in meeting, I am not mentioned ( not that I want, but this sucks ) nor praised, but I am scolded together with them who do not do their job. Occasionally, I have to skip duties for more important issues at hand, I told Head Prefect, but I get the hint when he starts scolding in meetings. So, do work get scold. No do work get scold. And I pay you to scold me. And now as I approach closer to SPM, us form 5 prefects get threatened all the time. Our certs are in jeopardy. The fuck? I understand if my fellow form 5 prefects don't do their duties and I cover for them, I am willing to. But I seriously hate it when its the Form 6 or Form 4 or even Form 3 prefects who escape duty, I cover for them, and us Form 5 gets the scolding.
That's it. No praise, all scold.
And the way they scold, they go about like the pathetic shit they are. They start saying how tough things are for them, how they get scolding from teachers, how we must respect them.. truth is, all they do is walk around chat with their friends and then see who is not at duty. Then scold. Prefects cannot talk when doing duties they say.
I don't mean all head prefects are like that. My school vice head pref is a decent chap :) He knows how to say fuck, and swears like me. But more discreet larrrrr~~
Speaking of swearing, Zhi Wei and I's influence in my class is evident. We started out as a good class. Students with no life but study. Until me and Zhi Wei and Melvin came along.
Half the class started swearing in no time. Even those goody-goody-two-shoes also started swearing. Heck they even know more about foul words than me, some of them.
Just imagine a very innocent looking guy who studies everyday, and seemingly so absorbed in his studies that he does not think about negative values. Then just imagine that guy suddenly looks up and at you, then says 'Fuck!'
DAMNIT LAR DAMN FUNNY YOU KNOW??????????
But what's cooler would be other people doing stupider stuff when you are doing stupid stuff.
High School life ( unless I have to go form 6 ) ended pretty well. The last day of school totally totalled me totalifically and made me totalitarian ( whatever the fuck is that ).
Most of the ex-Montfort boys got together and took this photo in my class. DON'T EVEN ASK ME WHAT AH BENG WAS GESTURING!!! And that blardy fook Elwin blocked my face!!
Guys for sale. No refund! Once broken considered sold. Buy 1 Free 1. If premium quality, 1 for the price of 2. If fucker quality, 12 for the price of 1. All virgins no problem ( I think.. )!
This would be the fucker gang.
This is my Moral Ed Tuition Teacher, Mr Koh C.S!! Further introduction please refer to the photo below!
Well, why? You ask, is the smiley face in the laptop a fucker?
