Screwed up..

First and foremost, people! Here I officially launch a mogok against Dickson's blog because he used the photo I found to attract girls without crediting me nor sharing with me the chicks he attracted. Dickson suck!! Down with Dick!!

Right on to this post.

The PM has mentioned, bloggers beware. You might get arrested for 'menimbulkan isu sensitif' and criticisms are allowed only if they are constructive. So here I am to criticize.

If you have the time.. log on to www.tutor.com.my. Supposedly, a Malaysian site prepared to help students. Look through the EST paper.

You will find that ;
1) The passages suck. The questions even suckier.
2) The sample answers suck.
3) WTF they used 'If U want to maintain health.. U should..'
4) The title is 'Promoting Liver Health'. They start talking about kidneys and body.
5) Sample essay answers suck.
6) This is an essay question. Given three ( the fulcrum.. bla bla ) machine parts ( or systems, whatever they called them ), form a machine compound with two of them. My question. Machine for what? HOW THE HELL DO I FORM A MACHINE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S ITS PURPOSE FOR!@#$??$?@?$?!@$#!&@%#$

And the EST subject. Its decent, but the thing is, the it can be improved. A lot more space for that. Either that, or abolish it completely. Start by getting people with decent English mastery and good Scientific knowledge to form a proper syllabus, instead of randomly popping around current issues. AND FOR GODS SAKE RELATE THE ARTICLE TO THE TITLE!!!!!!

Done ranting.

Onwards.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Very Slight
Dysthymia:	High-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Very Slight
Cyclothymia:	Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Slight
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

Took the test Bee took. Not very accurate. Certain questions ( something like ) like 'are you feeling sad' and such, well, I couldn't answer them. Why?

Because : I don't have a life. And because I don't have a life, I don't care.

Thing is, no answer option for 'don't care'. So I picked no =/

Symptoms for Cyclothymia and Dysthymia from the site too.

This is for Cyclothymia.

Hypomanic Phase

• Excessive confidence and self-esteem
• Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
• Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
• Heightened irritability
• Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions
• Hypomania lasts between several days and several weeks

Depressive Phase

• Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
• Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
• Fatigue, lack of energy
• Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
• Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
• Depression lasting between several days and several weeks

This is for Dysthymia.

Symptoms of Dysthymia

• Long-term depression, sadness, anxiety
• Fatigue, difficulty falling asleep or waking and not being able to fall back asleep
• Problems with memory or concentration
• Low self-esteem, guilt, or negative thinking; self-critical
• Depression seems part of one's personality, gloomy, no joy
• Unable to remember last time one was happy, confident, or inspired
• Unexpected weight loss or gain, eating problems
• Symptoms present for over two years

Go figure.

Some people don't understand what I mean by not having a life.

Lemme explain here.

My life has practically been drawn out in the modern day society. In fact, this applies to almost every individual who thinks they have a life. Anyway, this is the basic guidelines to lead your time in this world.

Age 1~3 : Enjoy life as the Emperor
Age 4~24 : Start studying, tuition, learn piano, learn this learn that, must win others, tuition must more, study must more, results must be better, get scholarships and be a successful doctor/lawyer/engineer/accountant. Whatever happened to farming, cattle raising and other agricultural activities?? You people think the meat you eat fell from the sky ar?

Age 24~60 : Start work. Work work work. Money Money Money. Sex Sex Sex. Then Pension.

Age 60 onwards : Be a parasite leeching your kids until you die, or be treated as one and get dumped away.

Age 0~death : MUST KEEP IN TIME! in time for school, in time for work, in time to sleep.... there is even a guideline at a time that says what time to have sex. wtf?

My idea of life :
Age 1~7 : Enjoy
Age 7~11 : Be taught the basics of local languages and basic science.
Age 11~20 : Given a choice to learn whatever skills I want minus the competition.
Age 20~60 : Be able to enjoy work, have a great social life, get a wife who suits me very well and the money can fuck themselves. Who cares about money =/ I prefer health and food and sex.

Age 60 onwards : Enjoy life again, living off own savings. If kid feels generous, he can raise me.

Smething like that lar.. I never had to lead that kind of life before. COmplete freedom. never know whether it will work.
I suppose in the course of advancements.. we dump our life away and replace it with a zeal for comfort. Nobody seems interested in finding out the truth.

So lemme post a few questions here.
1) What if the entire galactic system around us is but an electron of a molecule?
2) So we are advancing. Where are we going towards?
3) Define time.
4) Where do we go after we die?

I suppose that's it. Its time to sleep * fuck it *. I just don't seem to care.. do I?
I am not happy.. I am not sad.. I don't even know my emotions anymore. =/ It all seems fleeting. Doesn't change anything.

Kooky. oh wait.. normal for me =/ stuff

Weird stuff that I have done/encountered so far in my life.. as far as i can remember anyway..

1. Buying chicken rice. I ordered "Boss, chicken rice don't want chicken."

2. Going to the local cinema with my bro. The show was rated 18SG. My bro bought tickets at the counter, and he said 'I adult, 1 child'. go figure.. the best part was the fellow at the ticket counter gave my bro the tickets xD

3. Ordered ORANGE sauced fried chicken and LEMON sauced fish fillet. The fried chicken came in yellow colour, tastes like lemon, and the fish fillet came in orange colour, and tastes like shit.

4. NILAM period in my school timetable.

5. Why when one person starts to hype up about Korean soaps, everyone starts to type Korean 'I love you' or 'Saranghae' with Korean alphabets in their MSN, or literally everywhere.

6. Zhi Wei

7. I never study when my aunt is around. This is because her very presence gives pressure and she sometimes makes a lot of noise. So I study when she is not around. And I play computer games when she is around. So when she is around and I am on the computer, she scolds me. =/

8. My niece. She was running around the house, singing seriously out of tune, screaming away, and when her sister came downstairs rather noisily she yelled at her sister 'Don't be so noisy lar!!' *nieces aged 8 and 6*

9. I kena spyware recently. The funny thing is... the spyware makes pop-ups when I access the net. They say 'Your computer may be infected. Buy antispyware today.'

10. Some girls.. they are so weird.. girls are weird :S

That's all I can remember for now. :)

Kooky stuff that I feel like doing.

1. When filling a form, try to write these.

Name : *your name* add 'the greatest' or anything you deem suitable
Address : write there, "Mr."
Sex : Always
Date : Call me anytime if you are an attractive female
Time : Check your watch and tell me.
Age : younger than you, older than your daughter
signature : F*ck you ( as in, signature phrase )
Current status : Dead
Marriage status : to my computer
Previous Job : Procrastinator Expert. Gets things done immediately.
Health Status : Lame
Blood type : Do I have a choice?

Sakit Kepala...

Entah mengapa macam ini =/

My bro came back. We are going to make our International Passport so that we can attend his wedding in Singapore. So.. went to Jabatan Imigresen. I tell you.. those people there... sakit kepala betul...

So, my dad went earlier when I was in school. So him and my bro made applied for it first, and took home a form for me. He signed it at the pengakuan ibu-bapa/penjaga ( I AM FREAKING UNDER 18 OKAYYY???? ) , then asked my bro to bring me there to make for myself. So i filled the form, took photos... bla bla bla..

Came to this counter. One fellow sat behind there. I passed him the form, he looked through two or three times. Then he looked at me.

"Bapa ada datang?" he asked.
"Tak."
"Mak ada datang?" he asked.
"Tak."

Then my bro came to the counter.

"Abang boleh?" my bro asked.
"Tak boleh." he said.
"Passport tak boleh buat. Kena tandatangan ibu atau bapa di sini *points at some never-before noticed corner of the form*"

So.. wtf =/ phoned my father. Waited 15 minutes. Then my dad signed it and I went to the counter again. This time, he looked through it two or three times again. Then, he looked at me.

"Passport tak boleh buat."
"Kenapa??"
"Kena ada photostat IC bapa dan IC original bapa."

Luckily, my dad was there. We went to photostat his IC, then went again to the counter.

This time, he looked through it another two or three times. Then, he looked at me.

"Passport tak boleh buat."
"*WTF* KENAPA??"
"Kena ada surat beranak."

FUCK LAR! CAN'T HE TELL IT TO ME ALL IN ONE GO?????

My dad went home to search for it. My bro got pissed off, he said apply for passport another day.

In the end, my surat beranak appears to be missing =/

Banyak sakit kepala..
Here's an interesting story by the way..

An ant hurried to find the other animals. It took him long, but in the end he did it.

"Guys, God created a new species to join us!!" the ant announced and pointed at the man.

The lion, the king went over to inspect. He tried to fake a pounce, but the man could not avoid any of the sudden attacks.

"Feeble reflexes. An unworthy creature." the lion said.

Then, the armadillo went to inspect the man. He hit the man a couple of times.

"Weak defense. An unworthy creature." the armadillo said.

The dog went over, and asked the man to identify different smells. But the man couldn't tell, all he could say was 'smelly' or 'smells nice'.

"Weak sense of smell. An unworthy creature." the dog said.

The elephant went over and inspected the human.

"Small and weak. An unworthy creature." the elephant said.

One by one the animals inspected the human. And all found him to be an unworthy creature in every instances. Finally, the ant went over.

"He is lazy, unlike us ants. We toil non stop, he lazes around non stop. An unworthy creature indeed." the ant said.

The lion turned to the human.

"You are imperfect in every sense. You do not belong here. Begone!"

So the human left. A few days later, the man came back with many guns and friends with him.

The lion was shot dead before he could even notice the humans. The armadillo curled up, but was pried open and shot dead. The dog tried to run, but who could outrun a bullet? The Elephant was angry, but what can an elephant do with so many rifles pointed at him and firing rapidly? The Elephant too fell. One by one, the animals were massacred.

Finally, the man found the ant. He grabbed the small ant with his two fingers, squished it and then stomped it several times. The man left feeling good.

The moral of the story is : You don't have to be perfect in anything to be a perfect Asshole. =P

I am such a lucky dude

Sila taip Nombor Kad Pengenalan anda..

*type type*

Tekan 'cari'

*click on 'cari'*

Sila tunggu....

....


.........

................


.............................

Cannot connect to server, please try again later.

Wtf.

*replay scene 1-5*

Took me half an hour to check my 'status peserta' :/

And then..


Sila tunggu..


.........

...............

....................

.........................

TAHNIAH! ANDA TELAH TERPILIH UNTUK MENYERTAI PROGRAM LATIHAN KHIDMAT NEGARA!!!

And I go like.. WHAT THE FUCK!@#????? *SMASH MONITOR SCREEN*

Initially, I checked. No. KP tidak daoat dicari. I sms-ed. KN *my IC* tidak terpilih. And now?? I re-checked via Internet and they tell me tahniah. Screwed up system =/ Malaysia Boleh indeed..

And then?? To spice things up.. I ponteng-ed school today. Had some sort of Hari Kecemerlangan Kokurikulum.. half the teachers involved, no prefect duties, no teachers to teach, what for I go??

*yesh baby, can sleep late, can eat roti canai for breakfast*

And in the end? I woke up with a FEVER. HOLY SHIT NOW I HAVE A VALID EXCUSE FOR NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!!!!! Spoils the fun of playing truant >.<

Sheesh, I gotta be the luckiest guy.. who has ever heard of a guy who gets sick when he doesn't go to school? I gotta be a mutant man..

Sucks.. :S

Zzzzzz....

Lazy to update.. but just to make this blog stir once in a while..

Latest news :
1. My two nieces are addicted to my computer now. DANG IT!
Ever since my niece approached me with her CD from an english text book, she pesters me to let her play it everyday. ( Note : Nieces aged 7 and 5 ) Its annoying, but hey, its for her education. The funny thing is, she doesn't understand what the hell those hippos are crapping about and still managed to 'tikam' until she gets full marks in the so called tests. O_o Don't I wish for those kind of luck?

2. My nephew is suspected of HFM-Disease. HAND FOOT MOUTH!!!
In Johor Bharu now. In hospital. He's such a cuttteee toddler. Poor thing lar wei..

3. I still do not have a life.

4. I still crave roti canai.

5. Tests are around the corner and I don't give a heck xD

6. More people acting cute around me and around my turf online. Annoys the hell out of me.

Aaaaaaanddddddd.. I downloaded Bill Watterson's Calvin & Hobbes from bittorrent. Every single strip ( Wonder whether its legal or not.. but well.. ). This is what I am probably going to do xD


Well what else? I suppose that's it.. until something interesting happens.. ciao!

My Essay for Mid Year Exam..

Before I begin, let me describe how this essay came to be.

I sat down at my place in class at 7.55am., feeling confident enough to take on the English paper one. I was certain I could reach my mark of 42/50 at least for the continuous writing.

At 8.00am, One hour and forty five minutes, it began.

When I finished my directed writing, I checked the watch.

WTFFFF?????9.10am????? SHIT ASS! 35 minutes left for continuous writing!

Without a second thought, I grabbed the question closest to me, question 5 ( lol, question 5 is at the bottom of the question paper, closest to me literally ) and started writing without even thinking. The title was simple, one word only ; "Books"

So I started introducing what was books. Then I wanted to say how important it is. Then, I thought to mention what it is used for and why is it important. So I began writing about the importance of reading. Then I went like 'WTF? Am i off topic again?' steer back to the roles of books. Then thought of how books can help improve language. Began writing about importance of reading again. Then I went like 'WTF? Am i off topic again?' steer back again. Then thought of my text book, and wrote about books in education. Then suddenly thought of 'Playboy' magazine ( don't ask me why, I don't know ) and I was like 'wtf lar, include everything only-lar..' then felt pissed off and ended it with a conclusion.

Checked the time. 9.25am. Wtf. I slumped down and died there. I produced a 3-and-a-half-page essay in 15 minutes. 20 minutes to go, and I just died there. I was like.. 'wtf, I would be happy if I can get 30 for this essay'. And then I died.

Enough said, this is the essay.

Books

In today's world, books come in many different forms and categories. We have magazines, comics, text books, novels and so forth. In the ancient human civilizations, people began writing on slabs of stone to store important information, or simply as messages. Then came the Chinese and Egyptians who invented paper, and later on these papers were put together to form a book. The uses of a book is simple, it simply functions as a vessel to store information or messages.

Because it is used to store information, we can say that books are actually tomes of valuable knowledge. Researchers, philosophers, professors and scientists for example put their findings and thoughts in books that they may refer to should any doubt come along. Philosophers like Plato wrote a great deal about his teacher, Socrates. Without Plato's writings, we would still be wondering how we got to today as these philosophers greatly influenced the progress of humanity.

Of course, books are tools for humans. Some humans are corrupt, and use these tools to spread their corruption. Although reading is encouraged, we must first ensure that what we read is healthy and not detrimental to our state of mind. While books can store valuable data, it can also give us misleading information. Therefore, we must be able to think and evaluate what we have read.

It is precisely this ability to think and analyze that people are encouraged to read books. It offers knowledge and serves to broaded a person's mind. For example, have you read the book "Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaardner? It revolves around the history of human philosophy. By reading such books, readers can be amazed by the achievements of people some time ago and probably even formulate their own thoughts and opinions. Books can therefore be declared a kind of communication method between the writer and the reader.

Other than that, books also play a major role in human life since ages long past. For example, I am sure you have heard of "Sun Tzu's Art of War". It is mainly about strategies in warfare and battles that can lead to victory and vanquishing your foes. Sun Tzu wrote all his stratagems and compiled what is simply one of the most famous and well known book even until now. In today's world, the information from that particular book is still used except that it is applied in the business 'war' instead of open warfare.

Even back to the time where one of the main religions of today, that is Islam, books played their role as well. The first order from Allah to Prophet Muhammad was for all followers to read. And as time progressed, devout Muslims gathered Prophet Muhammad's teachings and thus the holy book of Islam, the Qur'an was born. In Christianity, it is also the same thing. We have the Bible, a book entirely about the religion and teachings of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Without these books, religions would be a chaotic issue as people could not refer to the past teachings of these great pioneers.

Besides being a source of information that can be vital for humans, books also have their values, for example, in languages. By reading books, our human brain works to comprehend what we read. This indirectly strenghens our mastery of a particular language. In this case, Malaysians are said to possess a low standard of English language mastery in general. Many had debated about this topic, and one of the most used reasons is because the books are not widely opened and read. According to statistics, an average Malaysian reads two pages from a book in a year. Therefore is it not true that if a person reads twenty books in a year compared to two pages, his language mastery is better?

It is an undeniable fact that a person can get very resouceful if he or she reads all the time. Some people shy away from books because they find it boring. Like it or not, they can not escape the influence books have on our lives. Our education system uses text books and reference books which students have to pore through them over and over again to completely digest what they are being taught. Therefore, we can say that books are among the many factors of what shapes a person and determines their future in the social world.

In fact, the power of books is so great that it can trigger worldwide interest. Two very interesting examples would be the recent 'Playboy' magazine published in Indonesia and the author Dan Brown's famous 'The Da Vinci Code'. The 'Playboy' magazie has triggered a nationwide protest by the natives because it contains explicit materials. Now, if books were not viewed that importantly, who would even care what they are in it? The same goes for the much acclaimed "The Da Vinci Code' which received much accolades and as much put-downs.

In the progressng world, books are slowly being replaced by technology, In a couple of decades or centuries, inventions such as the Internet will totally replace books. While that might happen, just know that whatever happens, books had played its role for humanity and will continue to do so for a long time more. Therefore, tarry no more! Grab a book of a genre you like and start reading and flipping through the pages to fully receive and utilize the benefits they bring!

- End -

Total score : 44/50 - A

Teacher's Comments :
1. Attempts subject matter confidentsly
2. A few minor slips
3. Displays maturity of thought
4. Ideas flow. Evidence of planning is there
5. Vocabulary is wide

My comments on teacher's comments :
1. wtf?
2. of course
3. Wtf?
4. WTF???
5. :)

Sometimes, I am just so good I amaze myself xD. I did think the conclusion sucked big time though..

What about your comments?

Professionalism Chapter III

Professionalism again! First chapter was about barbers in my friendster blog, second was about dentists in this blog ( find it in the archives somewhere.. ) and now the third chapter shall be about.. doctors.

*backtrack backtrack..*

My bro came back from Singapore today! But somehow, ever since he has that fiancee of his, things are not the same anymore. My brother has changed, maybe because he will be getting married soon. But still, I don't like it. He reached Batu Pahat at 2 o clock. But he only visited my parents after he fetched me at 7.30pm. My dad was super pissed off. Because the first thing my bro and his fiancee did upon arrival was checking in the hotel and spending the entire day at Summit, the only half decent shopping complex here. Wtf man.. Somemore my bro actually converted to Christian because she is the only Christian in her Buddhist family. Go figure.

Anyway, my brother asked me how was my trip to Endau-Rompin.

Bro : How was your trip to the jungle?
Me : Ok lor.. very nice :)
Bro : Got see any tiger tracks?
Me : Ya, really got ler! We saw and took photos!
She : Have you considered that it is possible those people there made casts of tiger paw prints and made tracks around.. so that tourists come here and think they really saw tiger prints? Of course lar.. its for tourism what.. Do you think its possible? *nudge my brother*
Bro : maaayyybeeee...

Got me so pissed off. WHAT KIND OF SUGGESTION IS THAT? Seriously man.. how could she suggest such a thing? I mean, Ok lar, you have never been to the wilds before. Such an accusation is baseless, and furthermore, WHO THE FUCK HAS SO MUCH TIME TO DO SUCH A STUPID THING?

Anyway, back to the main topic. Yes, I am sick. Sick as in, having a fever with sore throat, extreme runny nose, cough, sleepiness, tiredness, very angry and pissed off. Right, normal syndromes for a normal fever. Anyway, because my father was too lazy to fetch me to the family doctor, we went to the nearest ( nearest as in, nearest to the restaurant we were eating at ) clinic. Clinic King.

I was like, WAHOWA. King syoot. Royal clinic.

Turned out the doctor was a woman with the surname King. wtf.

So I went in, registered and sat down alone. My parents and bro went to the nearby clock shop to buy clocks for his new house in Singapore. I got number 45, and the current number was 42. And I waited half an hour. Seriously..

With nothing to do, I just sat down and tried to notice everything while hoping time will fly by. And you know what I found out? Inside the entire clinic, there were only women and children, no penguins. So I was like, Shit ass, don't tell me this is a gynaeologist? Or a pediatrician? Am I in the wrong clinic...?

I went outside and read the words at the door. Serious spelling errors.

"Gynelogy. Kidary diseases. Medical Check up. Gall Bladders. Pediatrics..."

Well, at least there's that medical check up. But still, you know lar.. being the only guy there.. of course i feel uneasy lar!

So when my turn finally came ( at last! ) I went in, and the first thing that doctor asked me was..

Doctor :"What is your chinese name?"

Shit.

"Huang Wee Ming" I told her.

Doctor :"How do you write it?"

FUCK.

"I don't know. I never learned Chinese."

Doctor :*scribbles something* Is it this "Wee"? ( Chinese words )

Without looking at it, I said yes. Then, she asked me how to write my 'Ming'.

"I don't know."

She gave me the wtf look. I gave her the wtf look. Then we both felt like wtf.

So I sat down and she began the general diagnosis.

"Whats your prob?"
"fever"
*type type in computer*
"Sore throat got or not?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"Cough?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"Runny nose?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"You everything also got ar?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*

Then she checked my temperature ( 37.3, slight fever ), used the stethoscope on me. Bla bla, biasa lar.. normal sickness.

Then right, she turned and there was like.. 35-+ containers behind her. Wtf? So she took one, took out a big tablet and showed it to me.

"Quite big. Can swallow?"
"Can.. but.. swallow now ar?"
"Not now lar!"

She filled a strange looking round machine with the antibiotics capsules. And its those kind of strange machines you know.. with small compartments, one compartment for one dose of medicine.

She filled it with 7-8 kinds of medicines. WTF???

As she was filling them, she turned and showed me a square shaped little tablet.

"This one will make you sleepy. Eat it only at night. So if you want to do homework, or watch World Cup, don't eat this."

Then she on the contraption, it turned.. and a strip of small plastic bags began rotating below the turning compartments. Each dose of medicine fell into a plastic bag of its own, until the entire strip of around 8-10 small plastic bags all held medicine and were sealed tight. First time I see such kind of medicine-prescriber. High tech syott. I still prefer the traditional seal-by-pressing small plastic bags.

"RM27. Thank you" She said. I took out my wallet, thinking.. *Wtf, no wonder she only has one clerk in front and the least number of patients compared to the other clinics along this road. She does everything herself!*

"Pay outside. Thank you"
"..."

Note : All the conversation above was in chinese and directly translated.
Note : I will never go to that clinic again. So freaking embarassing.
Note : Everyone should go at least once lol. Then you will know.
Note : Doctor King is a Taiwan-trained doctor. Probably she is a Taiwanese herself, considering her surname is King.
Note : I left the clinic with the medicine given. But I don't know which tablet is for which symptom. So.. WTF!

Mat Chepor..

A moment of prayer for Mat Chepor.
Sometimes you can't help but wonder how fragile life is. This baby elephant suffered a year before it is put out of its misery.

I solemnly swear ( not swearing foul words.. swearing as in making an oath, or a vow ) I will make life miserable for those animal-killing motherfuckers. Other than the hot ass poker, gang raping, I think I need to implement new ideas to teach them to pick on helpless animals.

But for now, in this miserable world, the authorities should not say "Can not do a thing!". They should try to track down those fuckers and shoot them in the head.

Animals have a life too. They have emotions too. Humans self-declare to be the noblest race, 'makhluk yang paling mulia'. And what do we do? Fuck animals?

If that is the case.. we do not live up to our claims. Small wonder attendance in Hell is high.

Let's be a friend and co-exist peacefully with other species. Heck, I even think having a pet is a sin. My neighbour's dogs are tied up and kept in a cage that they appear to experience mental trauma now and then. His house got broken into, and he immediately plastered the side door and bought three huge ferocious dogs. Then he chains them up. They end up creating a foul stench with their dung and urine, and they appear miserable. Heck, each time I look at it, it stares at me. Like a stoned dog. This is not a life! This is a screwed up thing called a dog!

Someday penguins will rule the world. I hope they screw up these humans. Of course, the high seat of Penguinators, human rulers among Penguins will undoubtedly be reserved for me, Zhi Wei and penguin-conspirators.

Remember my philosophy? It still stands. The one about the world and infinitum..

Again?

Read in The Star today ( 21st June 2006 ). Apparently they found another baby elephant left alone and looking for its mother, which was killed apparently by gunshot wounds. Small wonder so many people come to Hell, so be thankful that I will make sure these assholes get their share of hot pokers in their ass. Special treatment to animal killers, I will also make sure they get their share of being gang raped by 16 fat, ugly and hairy men, in generous amount ( this applies for both men and women )

Anyway, congrats to Zhi Wei and the debate team of High School Batu Pahat! ( Shafique, Shahrizan, Bryan, Joshua and of course, Zhi Wei ). We won the finals for National level Parliamentary Style English Debate. Broke all records, and set a new one at the very top now.

Just submitted my article to MERCU, my school magazine upon request. Found that it gets a bit shaky halfway through because Aisyah and Sarah both disturbed me at their own peril while I was writing. Here goes, feel free to comment. Haven't really written anything in a while..

Essay

Is the person you see in the mirror merely a reflection, or is he or she a real life person in another world staring back into the same mirror at the same time?

That was the question I used to pose to my father as a young child. And each time my father would only shrug his shoulders and smiled at me.

“What do you think?” he would ask me back.

“I think they are real!” I answered eagerly. My Father was an infinite source of knowledge to me. He seemed to know everything from the smartest animals to the greatest man alive!

Father would smile again. “Then, they are real!” was his simple answer. Somehow, I am not convinced each time he said that. I even tried saying they were mere reflections, and each time he would agree with me. Feeling puzzled, I took it for granted that Father did not know, or just refused to let me know.

I grew up in a happy family. Father was a brilliant man, and Mother was just so beautiful and nice. I was a single child, so naturally all their love and attention would be focused on me.

As a child, I had always been interested in theology and philosophy. Rhetorical questions like “Does God truly exist?” or “How vast is the Universe?” used to strike me like a bolt of lightning. I always asked my father each time such questions came to me. And each time, he would smile and ask “What do you think?” and then agreed when I answered whatever my thoughts were. I believed that deep within his answer lies something subtle and wise. I just had to think about it and come up with a conclusion. I never did get an answer no matter how hard I thought.

My Father always had an answer for everything. I grew up drinking deep from his well of knowledge, and still found myself thirsting for more. Even when I became a university graduate, I still referred to my father with such questions. I could never sate my desire for answers in academies and institutes as they do not provide the knowledge I seek. But I studied the course of my choice nonetheless in University to pave my way to earn a living in life.

Until one day, I could not bear it any longer. I found myself beginning to doubt my Father’s knowledge; I suspected that he did not know the answers to my questions at all. I confronted him, feeling upset with him.

“Father, tell me honestly. Did you know the answers to all the questions I asked you before?”

He smiled again. My elderly father had not lost his touch yet. He gazed at me with his intelligent eyes.

“What do you think?” he asked me.

“I want to know what you think, Father. I am tired of thinking myself!” I protested.

“Son, I cannot give you answers to these questions. You must ask yourself what you believe. And what you believe will be your own truth whether or not others believe.” He said softly.

“That means you have been pretending that you knew all these while! You never knew the answers but you pretended to know!” I yelled.

Enraged that he had been pretending all along, I stormed out of the house. I never spoke to him again. I felt hurt. The Father I idolized all these years had suddenly been revealed as a fake to me. Mother tried to reconcile us, but I could not forgive him.

I went back to my own home and tried to vent my frustration alone. Soon, I found myself in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. Again, the question came to me again.

“Are you a reflection, or a real person?” I asked the mirror.

Silence.

I never expected an answer. I left it at that. Father’s nonchalant answer that shattered his image to me resonated in my head.

I began to occupy myself with my work. Day and night I slogged, trying my best to stop myself from thinking about my Father, or the questions I used to like to ask. And I still did not speak to my Father at all. In fact, I did not even visit him. I still maintained communication with Mother though.

On that fateful day came the phone call that changed everything.

It was Mother, and she was crying uncontrollably. Panic swept me when she told me the news. Father was hospitalized because he suffered a stroke attack.

I rushed to the hospital and found him in a coma. Suddenly, I felt the emptiness in myself embodies me. I missed gazing into his wise eyes. They were closed now, and would probably never open to see the world again.

I cried. Mother was inconsolable.

True enough, Father never opened his eyes again. He left the world peacefully. Mother moved in with me after she had calmed down a little. I attended his funeral and did my duties as a son, but the mantle of guilt inevitably descended on my shoulders. I had been disrespectful to him, and I had doubted his wisdom.

“He has never blamed you, son. He loved you.” Mother said to me.

“I know, but I feel that I had let him down.” I answered.

Exactly a year after Father died, I visited his grave. As I knelt and prayed for his soul, I could hear Mother beginning to start crying again.

Then, I took out a mirror and placed it on his tomb.

“Father, remember when I used to ask you questions about the reflections in the mirror?” I asked.

Silence.

I smiled. “What do you think, Father?”

It was then I saw his face in the mirror. He smiled at me.

Written by,
Ng Leslie
5 Science 1
High School Batu Pahat

*Only constructive criticisms are allowed. Or else its hot poker in the ass for you when you come down here. If you deal serious criticisms without any benefits, include the gang raping thing to your list of punishments.*

*Credits to Wan Aisyah for once again helping me to edit out stupid mistakes*

Stuff that do not matter, but you miss if they are not there

First and foremost. My mid-year results, obtained with hell of an effort for certain subjects.

BM - 70
BI - 88
MM - 79
EST - 94
History - 84
Chem - 75 ( omg )
Add maths - 70 ( OMG )
Moral - 71 ( OMMGGGG!!!! )
Bio - 77
Physics - 67 + 10 = 77 :(
Physical Ed. - 89 ( OMGWTF!!! )

Result - 11As.
Original slip = 7A1s ( exculding Physical Ed. ) 3 A2s
After they announced 80 = A1, result becomes = 3A1s, 7 A2s ( WTFFFFFFFFF )

Average : 78.45 without Physical Ed. 79.5 with Physical Ed.
Number of students with straight As in class = 6
Position of straight A students in class = 1st,2nd,3rd,4th,5th and 14th ( me WTF? )
Position in class : 14th

Conclusion? Bloody Helll....

Anyway, a little extra from One For The Elephants. I never realized this photo actually existed. I have captioned it as "One FROM the Elephants"

Keith, I hate you so much xD You sicko!!!!!!!!!

*Photo taken from Dickson. Credits to him for catching Keith red handed!

Kena tag.

Have to be sporting right? First tag by Bee Bee and Dickson. That's the problem with couples. They always pick the same greatest things in life. Like me. Well, here goes.

10 years ago. The great me was..
1. A 7 year old kid who thinks Power Rangers were the coolest people on Earth.
2. Thinks girls were disgusting
3. So free! Hakuna Ma Taa Taa!!
4. A genius in school. Never studied.
5. Still so innocent.

5 years ago. The even greater me was..
1. A 12 year old who just scored in his UPSR without studying.
2. Became a game addict.
3. A nerd
4. Began to find school boring
5. Practically married to my computer because I was with it 12 hours a day.

Last year.. the greatest me was..
1. Became a great philosopher together with Zhi Wei
2. Got elected to all freaking high posts :)
3. Began failing in exams EVEN when I studied. ( Stupid moral )
4. Could not understand add maths.
5. Still think girls are disgusting.

Yesterday, the incomparable-greatness me was..
1. Getting scolded by teachers for not finishing my homework
2. Still do not understand add maths
3. Freaking sleepy
4. Tuition all day
5. Got a temporary phone, which I don't know how to operate. Stupid Samsung phones..

5 songs the great me listens to all the time..
1. Helena - My Chemical Romance
2. She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
3. Cute Without The E - Taking Back Sunday
4. Where is The Love? - Black Eyed Peas
5. Gifts and Curses - Yellowcard

5 ideal places to run away to..
1. Hell
2. My room, with my computer
3. anywhere with BRATs
4. Some place where I can be alone, with my Mum coming three times a day to cook :P
5. Underwater world or in the wilds, provided I can breathe in water and immune to Leech bites

5 things I should be doing now..
1. Homework
2. Sleeping
3. Blogging
4. Chatting on MSN
5. Playing my games

5 greatest joys in life..
1. Eating my mum's cooking
2. Getting freaking good results without studying
3. Reading
4. Playing games
5. Hanging around with my friends :)

5 items the great me wants..
1. A new phone with camera, realtones, bluetooth and all damnit!
2. An Ipod!!
3. More time in Life
4. Finding out the truth about the Universe and Existence
5. Learning French, Greek, Latin, German, Cantonese

Done for the couple. Hope that satisfied you! Now have to get on with Wanny's!

Four movies I can watch over and over again
1. Big Fish
2. Russell Peters
3. Star Wars ( all of it xD )
4. Final Fantasy VII : Advent Children

Four places I have lived
1. My house
2. My friend's house
3. Another friend's house
4. With BRATs :) Holiday Inn in Kuching, NERC in Endau-Rompin

Four books I recommend to everyone
1. Sophie's World - Jostein Gaardner
2. The Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
3. The Sword of Truth - Terry Goodkind
4. Emperor - Conn Iggulden

Four of my favourite dishes
1. Chicken riceee
2. Chinese wanton mee ( kolo mee included, though its not the same )
3. KFC's Zinger Burger with Potato Wedges and Whipped Potato. SHIOK!
4. Nasi Lemak

Four sites I visit daily
1. My blog
2. Friendster
3. Aisyah, Zhi Wei, Bee Bee, Milia, Dickson, Ju Vern, Kennysia, Dr Liew's blog
4. Newgrounds.com

Four places I'd rather be right now
1. Hell
2. Someplace quiet where I can read and write
3. on my bed sleeping, or better yet dead
4. Touring the world in a luxury star cruise, with lots of pretty ladies and good food

Four unfortunate people I am tagging
1. Ju Vern!
2. Bee Bee
3. Sarah Shireen
4. And.. and... erm.. has everyone been tagged already?? CHRIS NG SK!!!

One for the Leeches Part 2

sli


Now that's a Leech bite if you guys don't know what it is. SOmehow, a Leech crawled up my Leech socks, crawled down on the inside, crawled up my long pants again just to bite me on my thigh. Puvin's pants were seriously soaked in blood. Aaron got invaded when FOUR leeches were crawling up his crotch together. The sight of that family crawling up Aaron's crotch sends panic to all the guys, and soon all of us were going to the toilet to take off our pants and search for any invaders. I found two more, but only one bite so far. Jonathan came out and informed us that "one guy sat between his nuts and sucked his coconut tree". PANIC MAN!! Keith said there was one case where the one leech crawled into the anus of some guy and bred there. The guy died and the doctors found an entire kampung of leeches in his intestines. That made my anus tickle all the time. The two PERHILITAN pros, Encik Jailani ( from Rengit! ) and Encik Mahsuri
came and chuckled at me. They pointed at my foot, then slowly pointed their finger up towards my crotch. "Pacat ni suka cari kawan". Bloody hell =.="

Anyway, those guys actually walk around the forest in barefoot. Bloody hell! We walk around, those wrapped up like dumplings with triple layer of insect repellent and baby oil get bitten, those wearing short pants got leeches in their crotch, and they walk around with short pants and slippers and not get bitten at all. Secret? Soap. PERHILITAN pros told me to use soap, those cake soap kinds. Because leeches can be killed by soda. And it prevents them from biting.

Aren't leeches cool? I kept three in a water bottle. Then observed them over some time. I found that, leeches don't like staying submerged in water. And I asked John, he said "Feed them two drops of your own blood every two weeks and they will be the happiest leeches ever".

Anyway, third day went by pretty fast. Trekked back to NERC, then went boat rafting! Miux was my captain, and Lily, Ju Vern and Kastoori and me took the other four. We got swept away by the tides immediately. Ju Eng immediately shot us a glare and said we were going the wrong way. Then she got swept in too xD We went ashore two three times because of the stupid tides. Then in the end, gave up and followed the tides. Captain Miux's raft started second last. There were 5 rafts. We soon got the hang of it, and overtook everyone except the lead raft xD Damn cool lar! All the others were slow pokes :P

Then interviewed the Jakun people, whose crops were being consumed and destroyed by our elephants. Pity them actually, but they too love elephants. They said 'sayang nak bunuh'. Ain't they great?

Spent the night preparing our presentation and all.

Day four, we started our journey to Lanchang at 6.32am. Reached there at 4.30pm something. Apparently, the bus broke down 12km away from our destination. Bloody Hell..

Briefing by the people in the Pusat Kepelbagaian Biology there. John and Mei Chin were elected as 'Cikgu' and Aaron was elected as "Tuk Penghulu" followed by Keith, the "Tuk Batin".


The picture shows Tuk Penghulu and his first wife, Mei Chin. xD Damn funny lar, he was said to have four wives I think. We all have to pay respects to him, and only eat after he has began eating. Got him so pissed off xD

Alright, then at night, Ju Eng wanted us to prepare a dessert for humans using food that elephants eat. I never knew Elephants ate chocolate spread and condensed milk though. So, my group, we divided the team. Wen Qing and Meera and Puvin would get to work on the presentation, while Shalini, Kastoori and me will prepare the dessert.Picture, that's Shalini on the left, Kastoori on the right, and the master chef *beams* in the middle.This is our dessert. Master Chef took watermelon. Master Chef sliced it into half. Master Chef emptied all the flesh, leaving a smooth, flawless empty watermelon skin. Then the other two chefs poured in the agar-agar that has not solidified. Then, Kastoori sliced up all the watermelon flesh into cubes, and sliced the jambooooo into thin strips. We dunked everything in as seen above. Then Master Chef added the Nata de coco, which sunk immediately. So, we left it in the fridge! Short and simple :)Picture above shows Master Chef carrying a plate of pancakes. Those pancakes were made by Ju Eng ( OMGWTF Ju Eng made pancakes!! ). Everyone were forced to eat xD That's Phui Yee right behind, and Lily in the far left. Because I brought pancakes for everyone ( Tuk Penghulu grabbed the first and started eating first ) they liked Master Chef.Picture showing Puvin and Master Chef. See?? Everyone loves Master Chef. Because he brings goodies. Until when the pancakes were actually outnumbering the people eating them 3 to 1, then Ju Eng had to force everyone to eat. Small wonder we all gain weight. Ju Eng rocks!

Had to rush everything for the presentation and performance. My group Dumbo sang the Elephant version of "Where is The Love". And we all stayed up until 3.30am just to finish it. BUt it was all worth it ;)

Day 5
Rose up bright and early. Initially wanted to wake up at 6am. But in the end everyone woke at 7 lol. My handphone didn't sound the alarm, maybe i switched it off when it started vibrating. Heh, anyway, almost late.

Went off to Kuala Gandah. Met the elephants there and fed them BREAD. Picture shows Master Chef on the left side, and Christopher on the right. Even the Elephants love Master Chef. Master Chef is just so handsome and loveable. Anyway, that elephant was the oldest among the few there, approximately 24 years old. Their trunks feel like... you know.. the bolster you hug so tightly when you sleep. So huggable lar xDPicture shows Master Chef delivering Elephant food to the hungry Elephants. Ju Vern was scraping them off the wheelbarrow. Its basically something like Elephant cereal, looks like small sillinders. Made of mostly fibre ( which explains ELephant shit is all fibre. Can use their dung to make paper I heard ) , with added vitamins. See? Everyone loves Master Chef! The Elephant was looking at Master Chef with utmost adoration in its eyes xD

In the end, had to clean up and give our performance to the VIPs. After that, was the official ceremony to adopt our baby elephant, Siput @ Embun! Only 7 months old. FREAKING CUTE ( like me ) lar wei!!Something in that baby makes me want to call out like Ju Eng ( Sippooootttttt!!!! ) It ran towards the crowd of Elefriends, and made two.. erm.. whaddayacallit? Foot prints? One in yellow and one in red. Damn cute lar wei. Then it shitted. No smell! :DWent back to Lanchang, had lunch, packed and went off to UTAR. We went our separate ways again, but all of us knew, once our paths had crossed, it shall remain in our memory forever.

It was well worth it sacrificing one week of brain rotting activities to spend a week in the forest and with them Elephants. You know right, I feel everyone should join BRATs lar! Wait, everyone who is not like You-Know-Who. Everyone should be nice like me :) And every nice people like me should join BRATs. Are you like me? :)

Extra Quotes and Memorable stuff :
1. Chris can use the force. When we were trekking the woods, each time he said "Ju Vern!" and Ju Vern would fall down within the next 2 minutes.
2. "We are behind schedule" - John Kam and Ju Eng. All the time they say that :)
3. Jonathan Ng the Thick Skin and Dickson the Tick Tsin.
4. This one is by me during Ice breaking "Call me anything you want, BUT never call me LES"
5. This one is by me to Dickson "You call me Les again I will start calling you DICK!"
6. LEECH!
7. Hui Yan - YOU LIAR!!!

One for the Elephants! ( and Leeches )

Back from Endau-Rompin -- Kuala Gandah 5 day 4 nights trip! It was a freaking great trip, good for experience, meeting other people, and having fun in the wilds, and playing with our trunked friends!

Met up with 3 other Kuching BRATs '05. Wanny, Ju Vern, and Chris Ng. All four of us were... haha.. how to put it..? From left, Wanny, Me, Chris and Ju Vern. Chris is like a brother to me lar.. all surname Ng. And equally gay. Gay as in.. overhappy. NOT that gay.


Anyway, snapped lots of photos. Took me hours and hours just to collect over 60 and there's still more!! A brief summary of what we did.

Day One
Chilly day. At 6am in the morning, gatehred at
UTAR. Then set off. 24 of us. Ju Eng was there! First was by bus to Kahang. Then, change to four wheel bus for a damn bumpy ride!

Stupid Wanny. I wonder how did she manage to snap such a great picture of me sleeping on a bumpy ride. That's Chris beside sleeping by the way. I was just pretending :P

Anyway, the scenery was excellent. I did not sleep the entire journey you ding dong!

Anyway, the entire ride was hell man. Bumpity-bumpity-bump. CRASH! Bumpity-bumpity-bump. BUMPPPP!! PUMP IT! (LOUDER!!)



So, expected lar.. when arrived all got so excited.
Had an ice breaking session. It was hell lots of fun man. That's when I enjoyed a lot, all sorts of dancing, memorising names and all. Miux suffered like hell memorising names of 23 people. But he did it! Our Doraemon @ Aaron Ong had to memorise 22 but he failed and was forced to dance. Wahahaha!

We were divided into four groups. Elephunk, Pachyderm, Dumbos and.. uh.. can't remember lol


Ju Eng was sitting right behind me man! Stress syot lol. We were then introduced to the flasid-tators. Ju Eng the Big Mama BRAT, John Kam of djunglepeople, Andrew, Keith, Chua the photographer, Mei Chin, Darren Tan another photographer, Paul Kam founder of djunglepeople, and.. erm.. Phui Yee from R.AGE?

Basically, they were a bunch of great people! John was hilarious, and his bro Paul was more on the serious side. There were many memorable stuff throughout the trip.

First day first, we tracked elephants guided by two PERHILITAN pros. That lasted until late evening, where we got back and had dinner then went off to the boat again. The elephant tracks were huge, and more so about their dung.

At night, we went on the boat and started bombarding the riverbanks with torchlights and all searching for elephants. Felt pretty much like the Immigration dude searching for illegal immigrants. And of course, came back empty handed.

Sleep time. Guys were pretty restless. Lots of squirrels near the dorm. No penguins sighted so far.


Day Two
Leechy day. We went off to our campsite at Kuala Marong.
In the photo, from left, Chris, Wanny, me, Miux, Hui Yan, Shalini, Aaron and Dickson.

An hour and half trekking across the forest, pass through two rivers with strong rapids on foot even though there is a bridge because Ju Eng says so, Leeches and more Leeches. And at the site, we set up our camps.. Then went off for a swim in the lake nearby.
See? I swam, but Chris had hydrophobia. So.. no choice lar, had to be a stone for him to rest on. Bloody hell..

The water was freaking refreshing. Unchlorinated water, with fishes and mossy stones and all. Damn great! Pity Zhi Wei and Amilia and Bee Bee, who missed all these stuff.

Then, it rained. Freaking rained. Went back to the campsite, all flooded.

Well, everything went fine. At night, Shalini, Wanny, Wen Qing, Dickson ( the only mad guy ) and.. can't remember. There were six cooks who intended to poison us with spaghetti. Cooked a big basket of them. Couldn't even finish half of it. Ju Eng forced the others to eat, it was hilarious man! Death by overstuffing, not by food poisoning. More leeches.

Will update day three and day four in another post. Too long meh.

To be continued...

Memorable Quotes during the entire trip:
1. Fasilitators are hereby known as 'Flacid-tators', courtesy of Jin Young.
2. Singaporeans actually chant "I will not leave my shit for others to flush" 100 times before they eat.
3. I waaaannt teeeennn biiigggg piiiinnkkkk piiinnnnggg pooonnnnggg baaaalllssss
4. By Ju Eng - OIIIII!!
5. John Kam, with overacting and overdramatic movements - "GOO!! I WILL BE FINNEE!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! JUST GO!!" when he said don't try to be a hero and act brave when we have broken four limbs and a head already. He was quite good at acting, damn funny.
6. Aaron Ong @ Doraemon was named Penghulu for all the participants.
7. Djunglepeople ( John, Paul, Mei Chin, Keith and Kahnee) was named 'Cikgu'. Stupidest term in BRATs when all they tell us is that they are no teachers :D
8. Phui Yee was actually called Ah Phui. How cute is that!@???

More to come...

Half a hundred post

Passed my driving test with flying colours ( *ahem* easy easy lar.. )

Going to KL now! Will take lots of photos with the cam i grabbed from my sis!

No time to finish my homework. I better have as much fun as possible because I will be back on Sunday and school starts on Monday. haha...

Anyway, wish me luck! Just had the inspiration to write another short story but dang it, not ime :( See if the mood is still there when I get back.

Uh-oh, my parents are here, BYEEE

Post number 49

Well welll...

For the first time in my life, its time to stand up and stand alone. I will be experiencing many things on my own for the entire week! Away from home, away from family, away from homework.. away from my computer-wife...

First thing in the morning. Driver's test. Bloody hell! So far so good, during training I have not had a single mishap caused by my carelessness, only ignorance in the beginning caused it. NOT A SINGLE ONE. And I failed my first driver's test. BLOODY HELL??? *Swear swear swear..* Pray that I pass, or *shame*

And then, in the afternoon, I will be taking a bus to KL. All by myself. Managed to grab the last bus ticket. LAST! How lucky I am! All by myself. *sigh*

When I arrive in KL, I will have to take commuter trains, LRTs, and walk to my uncle's house. All by myself. *SIGH* Pray hope I will not board the wrong bus or LRT.

Then, stay overnight with my uncle. Then, will be off to the elephant expedition to Endau-Rompin--Kuala Gandah! All by myself. *SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Anyway, once meet up with BRATs, I won't be alone anymore. The first of my two weeks holiday had been lonely. Had a Star Wars marathon, watched all 6 episodes in 6 days, watched Final Fantasy VII : Advent Children the fourth time and still not bored of it, played Final Fantasy VII, played Defense of the Ancients, finished a little bit of my homework.. and read Calvin & Hobbes... and slept 3 days out of 7 away. At least my second week won't be THAT bad, or so I hope. Trekking in the wilderness, with little hope of survival *dramatic music*, low provisions, limited clothing.. cat-sized mouse, dog-sized mosquitoes, elephant-sized potatoes, human-sized bugs and so on. But I'll survive.

Been in the moods lately. Brainwashed Sim Bee Bee with the help of Zhi Wei. She is now declard "Insane" by us.

You know.. I don't know why, but I feel lonely. I even forgot how potato looks like now. And the hopelessness of life is enshrouding me again. Not that that hasn't happened before. It covers me all the time. The infiniteness of time is making everything seem.. fleeting and short. Does it matter if I scored 50A1s in SPM and then getting a job which pays 1 million US dollars a week without doing any actual work? Not really. Naah, forget this. Driving + Elephant = Driving Elephants.

This is my 49th post. 50 posts in half a year, that makes it 100 posts a year. Hope I can make that mark before 7th July 2007. Unless I get selected for NS of course.

Sucks~~ Time to pack my bag and luggage. For those who are wondering.. I am bringing..

1. a weeks' worth of clothing and towel
2. camera and handphone ( cheap ones lar )
3. money ( very little )
4. water
5. snacks
6. my listerine pocket pack
7. my sleeping bag
8. stuff that does not deserve to be named ( toothbrush etc )
9. Myself

Something like that.. they mentioned swimsuits. Does that mean I get to watch hot girls in bikinis??? *begins picturing.. OMG wanny???* *FAINTS* *chokes* *declared dead*

I have sinned

I have sinned greatly.

I ate white bread with peanut butter.

Yes I know, you are gasping.

I shall atone for my sin by fasting on bread for a day.

Some of you are asking what kind of sin is that??

OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Its like.. Its like.....!!

Eating rice with soy sauce!! Or...

Eating chinese yam rice with curry sauce ( GASP )

or even eating chicken with mint..

or penguins eating potatoes.

THAT'S WHAT IS WRONG!

It's true!

Laugh you must not!

For it is the path to the darkside!

And oh yeah... bloody hell lots of homework to do.

I am going to play my game now.

LoL?

Elephants

Elephants. Apparently my essay got through. XD . This has got to be the best news for me. At least I won't spend my holidaze wasting away and rotting in front of the computer. Instead I will be staring at wasting and rotting Elephant potatoes. :)

As usual, transport is a major headache again for me. It is nearer for me to go straight to Endau Rompin and meet them there. But STAR wants me to go to Petaling Jaya, meet up with everyone and go together. And the STAR staff suggested I tumpang Wanny's car there. I would have to go past PJ into Ipoh just to sit in her car. That's an excellent suggestion anyway.

Anyway, moral project was a huge fiasco. Firstly, one guy started spreading "Moral project must pass up tomorrow. Then can get very good advantage. What advantage I cannot tell you lar.." Then everyone started doing Moral Project. I did mine until 2 o clock in the morning, and Zhi Wei until 4am. Then, spent the entire Monday morning completing the finishing touches and handing up.

Then I went to Zhi Wei's house, and well.. two nut guys in the same home, which conveniently is empty. We are not gay, mind you. But we did make a couple of musical videos ( MTV!!! ). Some are stupid beyond reason, you don't know want to laugh or ask us to get a life. Some are so pointless they exceeded the point of hilarity.

If you want them, disturb Zhi Wei for it. He will proceed to torture you mentally first, then make you beg for it. But trust me, some will be worth it. Because its so pointless. LoL

See you in Endau Rompin Chris and Wanny! And whoever BRAT I know is going :)

Talk about mixed emotions

I still find typing in blogs an enjoyable way of writing. No pressure.. no time limit.. no word limit.. and I can be as informal as I want to be.

Anyway, English paper was quite a coaster ride for me. Well I mean the essay paper. Time allocated is 1 hour 45 minutes. Two essays, one directed and one continuous. Just like our BM counterpart. And BM is given 2 hours and 30 minutes. Go figure the 45 minutes balance. Anyway, we are supposed to spend 45 minutes on the directed one and 1 hour on the continuous one, since the continuous writing has to be longer than the directed ( though not specified, but its a general opinion. Mob rule syot.. )

We started at 8.00am and scheduled to end at 9.45am. I began writing my directed essay with confidence. Easy easy lar.. points given, only need to show show a bit of flowery language used in the correct way. I got too engrossed in writing, and soon found I had already written three pages and only nearing the end. So I finished it at three and a half pages, that's like two pages extra from what teacher expects. Checked the time, 9.05 ( or was it 9.10? ) then sweared. Bloody hell!@#?? That's like half an hour off my continuous writing!! So I grabbed the nearest topic to me, LITERALLY! I really DID that! Question 5 was at the bottomest of the 5 questions and nearest to me. lol..

Grabbed the question, and began writing without thought at all. I finished at three and a half pages also. Checked the time. 9.30am. WTF?@?!#?? 25-30 minutes to produce a three pages and a half essay?? I felt stupid for a moment. Then I felt proud for a moment. Then I felt stupid again. Then I gave up, stapled and covered the paper and slept for 15 minutes.

Will post it in my blog to brag if it exceeds my initial expectation ( before I entered the exam class ), which is 42 out of 50. If its less, forget it.

Anyway, there seems to be a reason to brag after all. I was told that I scored highest in English in Science and Technology paper in my class. 94 out of 100. I was like.. what? Zhi Wei is second highest I think, and he lost to me by 5 marks!! YEAAAAaaa!! What a lead!

Forget it. Anyway, just submitted my entry for the BRATs elephant thingy in Endau-Rompin. Hopefully it gets through. The dateline given was 23rd I know, and its the 26th now. Well, I was informed the dateline was extended ( the notification mail was sent on the 22nd. Bloody hell ) So what the heck, go for it.

Anyway, whether or not I get through, here's the essay. Criticize more than praise. This is done with my mental state at its lowest, that's when I talk normally but brain absolutely halt all processes. Meaning, I talk or type without thinking. Belief me, you wouldn't want to see the original one. This is the 2nd one I wrote, more effort is put into it.

Why do you think we should help save elephants and how you can help create awareness in your community.

Why do you think we should help save the elephants from extinction? The reason is because WE can!

As each day passes by, the list of wildlife extinction grows at a steady pace. Our own elephants are not that far down the list, and they are nearing the brink of extinction. When that happens, many will lament how useful and fun it was to have elephants while they existed.

This is because elephants have proved themselves to be extremely useful to mankind. Since ages past, elephants have been used as a form of transportation and to pull the royal coaches. Even up until today, they are still used for ceremonial and religious purposes.

Elephants are one of the most popular creatures among humans. Even as we learn our alphabets, we recite that “E” stands for Elephants. Walt Disney also made a classical cartoon that is well loved throughout the world, which is “Dumbo” based on an elephant that can fly. If these elephants are extinct, then we are denying our future generation the pleasure of seeing an actual elephant! They have learned and watched so much, but are unable to see an elephant in reality!

Elephants are also part of the biosis component in the ecosystem. They play their biological part in the food chain and maintain the population of other animals and plants. This interdependent relationship is what makes them a key biological species in the tropical forests and therefore they must be protected. If they are unable to play their role, then the ecosystem’s delicate balance might be severely disrupted and result in a catastrophic chain events that could alter our rainforests!

Elephants are dwindling at an alarming rate mainly because of human activities. As human population grows at a steady pace, the demand for food also increases. This result in more land being cleared for agricultural purposes, which leads to the elephant’s natural habitat being destroyed! When their natural habitat can not support them, they will eventually lose and die out. What we should do is gazette larger areas as forest reserves and wildlife rehabilitation centers to create a haven for these great gentle beasts.

We must show our people the sorry plight of these elephants to instill awareness in our community. Documentaries are generally described as boring; therefore a new approach to producing a documentary must be implemented. Instead of just some narrator droning while a video of elephants are shown, we should try shooting the documentary in such a way that it can capture the viewer’s attention.

Besides that, we should place more emphasis on rural areas instead of focusing our campaigns and public speeches in urban areas. It is pretty common nowadays to read in the newspaper about elephants being shot dead by villagers for destroying their crops. It is an undeniable fact that the destruction of their habitat is what leads them to invade our villages. Rural folks must be enlightened not to kill them, instead cooperate with the authorities to relocate these elephants to our wildlife rehabilitation centers.

Elephants are also hunted for their hides and tusks as these possess high commercial values. We must launch campaigns and include a topic in Moral Education regarding endangered species to educate our people to stop trading in these goods. When there is no substantial support, the market will eventually collapse and poachers might leave these elephants alone for good. That is an effective way in the long run to preserve our elephants.

In conclusion, everyone must play their part in ensuring that our elephants are not wiped out from the face of the Earth!

Written by,

Ng Leslie

Kuching BRATs 2005

(600 words)

Feel free to comment. Aisyah helped me a lot. She even dared to call Ju Eng at night lol. Got herself scolded. Thanks a bunch ^^

Hail the new philosophy

Before we begin...

WARNING : This post contains obscenities. Parental Guidance is ( NEVER invite any adults here or I am as good as dead ) advised. Not suitable for kids under 15 and those who value their sanity. Read at your own risk.


Alright, after the entire "Penguins don't eat Potatoes" fiasco, we have a new philosophy. Its profoundly obscene, and to be honest.. its funny to us ( meaning me and Zhi Wei ). Zhi Wei refuses to claim any credit because it sounds so obscene, so I am going to name him "Mr. Z". Now who is Mr Z? Nobody knows right!?

Anyway, it started on TEACHER'S DAY. School was.. how shall I put it.. Extreme fun. It exceeded our demands for time wasting and feeling bored activities. So, we went off to the school library, all three of us ( Me, Zhi Wei and Wee Kwong ).

We started crapping and laughing among ourselves like nutcases. Hey, thankfully the library was empty =.=" But I could feel the librarian was... let's just say she is shocked.

Then, finally we settled down with books. Ah Kwong started revising his history notes. I was staring at my history notes. And Zhi Wei was laughing by himself.

So, I stumbled upon this question in the book. It goes.. something like this..

"Zaman Neolitik.. bla bla.. merupakan permulaan tamadun manusia.. bla bla.. Nyatakan ciri-ciri"

So I was like.. starting to mentally list out the "Ciri-ciri"s... Then when I checked the answer..

Jawapan : Sila rujuk bahagian "Neolitik" di muka surat !@#.

WTF KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?

So i showed it to Mr Z. He laughed and started saying "Bercucuk Tanam". Here's the dialogue about the birth of the new philosophy. Something like that anyway, you get the general idea.

Mr Z : It's bercucuk tanam ain't it?
Me : Yup.
Mr Z : Actually right, humans are also produced by 'Bercucuk Tanam'.
Me : @_@??
Mr Z : See ar.. the guy Cucuk, then he tanam the seeds. That is how humans are produced.
Me : Wahlao eh damn cool!
Mr Z : That is why.. humans are actually plants!
Me : That can walk, talk, eat, run, and have sex.
Mr Z : And all plants have chloroplasts..
Me : So where's our chloroplasts?
Mr Z : Up your rectum.
Me : I SEE! So that is the main reason why we cannot produce food ourselves! Because there is no sunlight there!

So you should get it by now. Humans are plants that walk and has chlorophyll. And the reason we cannot produce our own food is because all the chloroplasts are up our rectum, or anus, or asshole, and there is no sunlight there!


Anyway, I find that freaking funny. Ah Kwong was trying very hard to revise there, and we were talking about chloroplasts in human's rectum. He was shaking his head vigorously. Poor guy.

So, another guy came in. Our classmate. This joke was freaking funny at that time, I don't know about typing it here now, but here goes. I call that guy Mr. SG

Mr SG : You guys saw my Maths book in the class?
Mr Z : No.
Mr SG : Who could have taken it?
Mr Z : Actually right, its some form 6 girl who likes you. She took it for you but she dare not tell you because she likes you too much.
Mr SG : Yeah right, and who is she? Where can I find her ( very sarcastic tone )
Mr Z : You can find..
Me : The one that's not wearing any shirt.
Mr Z : OMG *BURST INTO LAUGHTER*

That was sick. I didn't know why I became so spontaneous and blurted out that sick stuff lol.

So cool lar.. it's just so cool I can just sit here and say "Cooooooooooooooooool~~......"

Anyway, here's a little interesting information.

Form 6 in HSBP this year. 300 students. Out of 300. 250+ girls. And so far I have not spotted any hot chicks. Damn disappointed lar! I mean, its 250+ girls! If there is not a single hot chick.. oh my god..

After another week or two.. we expect it to be reduced to 100 or less. Many are "tumpang students" who are waiting for scholarships or just waiting to go.

And in reference with the chroloplast theory, I started calling one of my friends "Chroloboy" which brings the meaning "Up-your-ass-kid". How cool.

Its a Penguin eat Penguin world..

Its a Penguin eat Penguin world alright.. Firstly, I made a stupid mistake in my driving test. Failed the parking.. Just as I was about to get out from the parking space, my left side mirror accidentally touched the pole. Then all I could do was say "Fuck" and get out of the car. Bloody haha... suai lar..

Then, the biology paper today. It was nuts. Paper 3, the experiment could not be found in the text book. LoL WtF?

"Mengkaji kesan nilai pH ke atas aktiviti yis"

Damn cool lar...

Anyway, this is a brief post, just wanted to update and take a break from poring over the biology books. I could actually feel the words peeling off the page by the sheer power of my stare.

And here's a tip to guys who find revising hard. A few simple steps.

1. Take your text book ( whichever subject )
2. Burn it
3. Put the ashes in a cup of mineral water
4. Stir well and drink. You will find the information stored solidly in your bladder.

An easier alternative for guys like me who revises while lying down ( Hey lying down enables you to think better and faster )

1. Take four text books or reference books ( or three ) regarding the subject you want to revise
2. Put it on your bed
3. Lie down and rest your head on the books
4. Read from another book ( it can be another subject, but preferably the same )
5. The information from the textbooks under your head will seep into your head through osmosis

This method is damn useful for Moral Education.

*Warning* : It might be too comfortable. However, when you fall asleep, the osmosis process will continue. Take care, this must be done at the beginning of your revision. If your head is already full of useless facts, don't try this. Osmosis will happen, but will be from your head to the books. Hey, go study lar! Osmosis happens according to the 'kepekatan'. So if your head is already 'pekat' with information, it will seep out! Maybe some calls it reverse osmosis?

After watching the movie "Final Fantasy VII Advent Children", I just feel so damn shiok lar.. In fact, was so mesmerized that I downloaded the entire soundtrack for the game and the movie and blasted the stereo at home whole day. Final Fantasy VII is still the best RPG game to me. And the soundtracks rock!

The following soundtracks of FFVII are what I presume to be the best :
1. Aeris' Theme ( I give it a 10 out of 10, which I seldom does to soundtracks )
2. Cloud Smiles ( 8 out of 10 )
3. Tifa's Theme ( 8 out of 10 )
4. Ahead on Our Way ( 7 out of 10 )
5. The Main Theme of Final Fantasy VII ( 7 out of 10 )

For a more excitable soundtrack, as those 5 above are considered "soft and soothing music", try the ones themed on the bad guys.
1. J-E-N-O-V-A ( I give 8 out of 10 )
2. One Winged Angel ( The name is so cool, the music is so good I give it 9 out of 10 )

For those who don't know, One Winged Angel is Sephiroth. Damn handsome, sword damn cool, he's just such a cool guy. And he looks a bit like a penguin with long white hair wielding a long long sword. So cool.

Following Final Fantasy VII, I seriously put the game "Lufia II" as the second best RPG game ever. The soundtracks also rock! But I cannot find it.. yet :(

These two games are great in the sense that
1. Great storyline
2. Lots of puzzles that require you to think a hell lot before you can actually pass
3. Lots of secrets
4. Great music

Damn, now I am itching to play Final Fantasy VII again. Unfortunately, its hard to find it on CD for computers now, and the game is published in 1998, and meant to fit for slower and dumbass computers. Nowadays computers are so modern and sophisticated, it cannot support a game that is published 7 years ago. What the hell lar... Need to find the patch for the game to run on Windows XP :)

On an ending note.. Zhi Wei sketched this in class. I took the trouble to Google for pictures and put it here.



Penguins + Potatoes....


Equals to Penguins flying! Ok.. that picture is a penguin diving.. but let's just imagine it is taking flight :)

A few more pictures of penguin that I found.. so damn cool lar..

Two Headless Penguins. Why does that remind me of Zhi Wei and myself?

I called this picture "The Suicidal Penguin."

Now these are what I call POTATO PENGUINS! Sorry lar.. lazy to straighten it.. :P

And while I was searching for photos.. I came across this site. Double whammy for BP gang and some of the BRATs.

Its called.. "The Penguin Conspiracy".

The Penguin Conspiracy

This site claims that Penguins are bad and will take over the Earth.

www.thepenguinconspiracy.com

Damn cool right?

Stress syot

Well well well, first and foremost.. Congrats to our debate team ( Shafique, Shahrizan, Zhi Wei, Bryan and Joshua ) for kicking everyone's ass and making girls flirt with them in Batu Buruk, Terengganu. So I heard, Zhi Wei made many girls ( in particular, the Malay girls. I think I am going to start calling him Malay-killer ) swoon over him, and he made an offhand remark saying a girl was pretty when asked. That earned him the title 'Mr Banger'. If you don't know what Banging is.. too bad for you.

Anyway, Batu Pahat will be representing Zone C ( Johor, Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang ) to the National Level Debate in Selangor 19-21st June. In Shah Alam so I heard.

Well, for some detailed information, you can go to zhi wei's blog and look at the insanely nonsensical pictures they took in Terengganu ( none of the pretty girls were in though :( damnit zhi wei, you are so horny that you didn't even bother to take their photos ). Well, if you are wodnering, no i am not providing a link there. Some *CENSORED because too vulgar* apparently know of my blog, and he likes secrecy. See? Damn horny right! Horny Zhi Wei. :P

Back to myself. For this month, I am facing :

1. Mid year exam. Its going to be fucking tough for me because I have not done much revision.
2. I am facing my driving test at the first day of exam. Thankfully, the first day is Chinese paper, I am not involved.
3. I am facing some problems in my uniform body, so I get generally fucked up.
4. As Zhi Wei put it to words.. my ass is on fire again.
5. I got crazy and started a mega download project. Six episodes of Star Wars® in one freaking go. 4.2GB!!!!

The driving thingy is making me jittery. I don't know why. When I am not driving, my heart can beat extra fast, and I get nervous and shaky. When I am driving, I feel sleepy. And I still cannot control my addiction to Yeo's Green Tea™ and Potatoes®.

Apparently, Miss Lebah ( or Bee Bee as most humans call her ), someone whom I have yet to meet, but is a BRAT herself, drew a picture of me and zhi wei. As Octopie ( plural for Octopus ). Kind of cool when you think of it. Tako Leslie and Tako Zhi Wei. And we are not gay thank you. We are pretty straight and horny.. erm.. make that friendly.


Its called Squish and Squash by the way. Squish is the Yellow Dude ( And that's Tako Zhi Wei ) and Squash is the Purple Dude ( Tako Leslie ). Damn cool lar.

All in all.. stress syot. Pretty stressed up these few days. Fortunately I have Potato to help me ;)