Quiz

Your house has two toilets that you can use.

Situation : You are in a very urgent need to use the bathroom for some multimillion business with the toilet bowl. Both toilets are occupied. One woman in each. One is grandma, One is my aunt. Both can spend up to 20 minutes in the toilet bathing.

What do you do?

I know I came down back to the computer to blog about this =/

AND THEY ARE STILL NOT DONE OMG

Strangeness

People are strange. Period.

Why? Hehehehe, more firing. People find things they aren't used to either to be funny/mad/indecent/heresy. Take Zhi Wei and me for example. One too much stress, and one more stress on the negative side. Both equally crazy. Add together, and you get philosophers. And people look at us and go, "Hey they are funny, but they are mad. The things they say are indecent, and I suspect they are practicing occultism. " '_' And no, nobody accused us of the heresy/occultism thing yet.

So.. is fuck a foul word? I don't think so. Its a verb, and an universal english word. It can be a verb, a pronoun, an adjective whichever way you use it. For e.g.

Fuck you! - Fuck is a verb here.
Fucking Ass! - Fuck(ing) is an adjective.

Point clear?

Anyway, I logged in to Zorpia, which I never bothered to do in a very long time. Friendster is maddening enough. The first thing I saw in 'rate a Zorpian' section is a quite cute girl. I was like, "WOW! let's check it out!"

So.. went to her homepage. Blablabla.. wtf favourite books written as 'Megazine'.

Then, I saw on the comments. This guy was like 'Hey, all the songs you listed as your favourite is my favourite too!' So i decided to check it out. Scroll up to her profile again.

Favourite Music : All Love Songs.

'_'....?

Alright, this is a novelty. I know this kind of profile entry exists everywhere, but finding this desperate guy trying to con the young girl.. trying to assosiate himself with her through this way?????

@nD | dOn'T UnDeRsTaNd wHy Pe0P|e mUsT tYpE |iKe Th|s. ITS FREAKING ANNOYING OKAYAYYYY??????

So I consulted My Master, Master Oh Bee Want. Master Oh Bee, the moment he saw me he was like..

'What'sup mah bitches?'

So I told him what I thought of people, stupid people who likes to act cute, take 50+ photos of every imaginable side of their faces, post it up on friendster, forwarding chain mails that was dated 2 years ago, putting lame and corny love stories in bulletins, TyPiNg LiKe ThIs, and spelling their names like this '~*@xXLeslieXx@*~', and like to post corny stuff on the MSN like 'I will love you forever,' to nobody in apparent.

I remember one of my contacts put their nick '*insert name, I can't remember who!* - I miss you all the time, think of you all the time, I love you so much that I can't stop thinking of you.' Then, in the bar.. it read.. 'Doing assignment. Non-stop assignment. No time to chat or think about anything else ler'.

'_'...........?

Master Oh Bee scratched his balls for a moment, then admitted he did not know. This question rocked his balls so hard he couldn't think.

So.. I was shocked. All-knowing Master Oh Bee, friend of the penguins did not have the answer! But he asked me to approach Master Soda.


Master Soda was happy to see me as usual. The first thing he saw me, he read my mind. Then he said ( in thick carbonated drink bubbling sound )..

"Yes, Girls who exercise, I like them too! The Best their legs are!" Wtf...

So I asked him the questions I asked Master Oh Bee. Master Soda said..

"Fuckers they are. Ignore you must." And I was stumped! Master Soda said something that was completely pointless yet makes sense! And I was so enlightened I couldn't breathe, I could only wheeze and cough.

Master Soda, Master of Master Oh Bee indeed. He definitely lives up to his reputation.

More strangeness. Whenever I see any place needing 'Word Verification' before I can post anything, I always laugh. Because it always says 'Type in the bar as seen in the picture' and I will go like 'Wtf how do you type it in orange, sinusodial shape, and having all sorts of triangular, square and circlular shapes floating around'?

In conclusion : I have trial exams tomorrow and I am wasting time here updating. Wtf.. I amaze myself, as usual.

Note : Pictures taken from www.cuteoverload.com.

Freaky!

Lemme ask you whether this is freaky or not.

On friday night ( 18th August 2006 ), I went to the prefect's year end dinner at Landmark Hotel. Most of the prefects were there, and it was truly a fun night. With friends, eating together, teachers not catching our long hair for once.. photo taking..

So the principal, GPK 1, GPK koko was there. And our beloved prefect's teacher Puan Radzah looked pretty that night xD

So.. we all were in a very high state. Principal also very high. We all first asked the GPK koko up to sing a duet with the PIBG guy from our school. =/ And as usual, for men up to age 55, its 90% the song, 'My Way'.

Then we all wanted to get the principal up by yelling him to sing, Puan Radzah shot us a glare and a NO-NO look. DO it and you DIE! So we all siao siao.. sit down quietly. Then Principal saw puan Radzah glaring at us, and he yelled 'Puan Radzah mau nyanyi??'. Wtf.. asshole betul. His image to me is worse each day.

And the next thing i know? The next day, they told me my GPK koko passed away.

WTF!@(#&!*$%!&%$!@#???????????????????????? ANd he was there the night before, eating with us happily.

'_' some of us began swearing. Why him and why not the principal xD.. what lar haha.. but then, his sudden death really shocked us all. Apparently, badminton killed two of my teachers already, including Mr Abdul Rahman, my GPK koko. He was only around.. 50? After playing badminton, he collapsed and died of a massive heart attack. Didn't even reach the hospital. Poor guy. What can I say? May he be at peace now.

Zhi Wei's in Aussie. And he's enjoying stressing himself while there. '_' What lar wei.. forget your trials lar.. once in a lifetime man..

According to Zhi Wei..
The food he ate there is no where near Malaysian food. And his foster family ( the guys only, male male!! ) *swears like water*. haha xD When I asked my aunt's opinion about this, she exclaimed loudly "What has the Ministry done man!!"

THat's all I guess, until then, adios!

My MSN chat logs..

Today I am featuring my MSN chat logs. Only three of them :)

*update : since the font colour is screwed, and I am lazy to find out how to change it.. highlight it to read it *

First up is with Aisyah, I only saved a small portion of it.

-[oneaisyah]- says:

what r u doing

[Leslie] says:

breathing

[Leslie] says:

producing CO2 for the plants to complete the photosynthesis process

-[oneaisyah]- says:

facsinating .

[Leslie] says:

yeah i know

The next two is with Zhi Wei.

[Leslie] says:

eh

[Leslie] says:

you completed your Dublin essay and did not bother to show me

[Leslie] says:

some friend

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

you didn't ask

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

aisyah ASKED.

[Leslie] says:

DO I HAVE TO ASK!

[Leslie] says:

T KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

HOW I KNOW LA

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

SOMETIMES I ASK THEN YOU SAY

[Leslie] says:

T SORT OF EXCUSE IS THAT!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

"LIKE I CARE"

[Leslie] says:

I HAVE TO ASK!@

[Leslie] says:

!@&#!@#$

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

POTATO LA

[Leslie] says:

you should go like

[Leslie] says:

'Oh great leslie, i have completed an essay, may i show it to you now'

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

even if my ass is on fire i won't do that

[Leslie] says:

OF COURSE YOU WON'T DO THAT IF YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE YOU IDIOT

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THATS WHY

[Leslie] says:

SO YOU MUST DO IT WHILE YOUR ASS IS NOT ON FIRE

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

AND DID YOU KNOW THAT PENGUINS DONT EAT POTATOES?!

[Leslie] says:

YES I KNOW

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THAT"S WHY I DIDN"T TELL YOU

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

COS PENGUINS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

DONT EAT

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

POTATOES!

[Leslie] says:

BUT PENGUINS BREATHE

[Leslie] says:

THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU MUST TELL ME

[Leslie] says:

BECAUSE

[Leslie] says:

PENGUINS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

PENGUINS DONT HAVE PETROL EITHER

[Leslie] says:

BREATHE

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

THEY DONT NEED TO PAY THE STUPID 30 CENTS

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

AND THEN I REALLY DONT LIKE THAT RAPPER 50 CENT

[Leslie] says:

AND BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY 30 CENTS!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

COS HE CALLS HIMSELF 50 CENT INSTEAD OF 50 CENTS

[Leslie] says:

YOU MUST SHOW ME YOUR ESSAY AND GROVEL!

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN INSULT IS THAT TO THE PLURAL WORDS IN ENGLISH!?!!!

[Leslie] says:

YES I KNOW AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU MUST SHOW ME

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

MASHED POTATOES ARE IN HEAVEN

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

negaraku

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tanah tumpahnya darahku

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

rakyat hidup

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

bersatu dan maju

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

rahmat bahagia

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tuhan kurniakan

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

raja kita

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

selamat bertaktha

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

*takhta

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

terima kasih banyak banyak

[Leslie] says:

eh

[Leslie] says:

everyone who is depressed and find life meaningless

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

kertas jadikan koyak-koyak

[Leslie] says:

should have a look at our conversation

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

arnab suka makan lobak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

dan tak akan makan katak'

[Leslie] says:

katakan tak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

katak hidup bawah tempurung

[Leslie] says:

katakan tak nak

[Leslie] says:

sekarang jugak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

tiap tiap hari tunjuk muka yang murung

[Leslie] says:

nanti saya cakap terima kasih manyak manyak

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

sebelum hujan sediakan payung

[Leslie] says:

kacang lupakan kulit

[Leslie] says:

kalah jadi abu menang jadi arang

۰ ﺝhﺄ Ŵﻉί ۰ le stelle cantano la canzone dei angeli says:

something yung

Yes I know its freaking long. Here's the second one.

[Leslie] says:

s'up

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sdown

[Leslie] says:

penguins up

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

polar bears down

[Leslie] says:

yes yes..

[Leslie] says:

s'left

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sright

[Leslie] says:

roti canai left

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

rotibomright

[Leslie] says:

yes yes..

[Leslie] says:

s'middle

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

nono

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sbetween

[Leslie] says:

teh tarik middle

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

milo ais between

[Leslie] says:

good good

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

bad bad

zhi wei ۰ it's easy to make perfect mistakes. ۰ says:

sFUCK

[Leslie] says:

I JUST TYPED IT LOLLLLLLLLLL

The point here is......................................................................

......................................

.........

........................

There is no point xD Just to waste your time!

Screwed up..

First and foremost, people! Here I officially launch a mogok against Dickson's blog because he used the photo I found to attract girls without crediting me nor sharing with me the chicks he attracted. Dickson suck!! Down with Dick!!

Right on to this post.

The PM has mentioned, bloggers beware. You might get arrested for 'menimbulkan isu sensitif' and criticisms are allowed only if they are constructive. So here I am to criticize.

If you have the time.. log on to www.tutor.com.my. Supposedly, a Malaysian site prepared to help students. Look through the EST paper.

You will find that ;
1) The passages suck. The questions even suckier.
2) The sample answers suck.
3) WTF they used 'If U want to maintain health.. U should..'
4) The title is 'Promoting Liver Health'. They start talking about kidneys and body.
5) Sample essay answers suck.
6) This is an essay question. Given three ( the fulcrum.. bla bla ) machine parts ( or systems, whatever they called them ), form a machine compound with two of them. My question. Machine for what? HOW THE HELL DO I FORM A MACHINE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S ITS PURPOSE FOR!@#$??$?@?$?!@$#!&@%#$

And the EST subject. Its decent, but the thing is, the it can be improved. A lot more space for that. Either that, or abolish it completely. Start by getting people with decent English mastery and good Scientific knowledge to form a proper syllabus, instead of randomly popping around current issues. AND FOR GODS SAKE RELATE THE ARTICLE TO THE TITLE!!!!!!

Done ranting.

Onwards.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Very Slight
Dysthymia:	High-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Very Slight
Cyclothymia:	Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Slight
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

Took the test Bee took. Not very accurate. Certain questions ( something like ) like 'are you feeling sad' and such, well, I couldn't answer them. Why?

Because : I don't have a life. And because I don't have a life, I don't care.

Thing is, no answer option for 'don't care'. So I picked no =/

Symptoms for Cyclothymia and Dysthymia from the site too.

This is for Cyclothymia.

Hypomanic Phase

• Excessive confidence and self-esteem
• Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
• Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
• Heightened irritability
• Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions
• Hypomania lasts between several days and several weeks

Depressive Phase

• Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
• Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
• Fatigue, lack of energy
• Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
• Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
• Depression lasting between several days and several weeks

This is for Dysthymia.

Symptoms of Dysthymia

• Long-term depression, sadness, anxiety
• Fatigue, difficulty falling asleep or waking and not being able to fall back asleep
• Problems with memory or concentration
• Low self-esteem, guilt, or negative thinking; self-critical
• Depression seems part of one's personality, gloomy, no joy
• Unable to remember last time one was happy, confident, or inspired
• Unexpected weight loss or gain, eating problems
• Symptoms present for over two years

Go figure.

Some people don't understand what I mean by not having a life.

Lemme explain here.

My life has practically been drawn out in the modern day society. In fact, this applies to almost every individual who thinks they have a life. Anyway, this is the basic guidelines to lead your time in this world.

Age 1~3 : Enjoy life as the Emperor
Age 4~24 : Start studying, tuition, learn piano, learn this learn that, must win others, tuition must more, study must more, results must be better, get scholarships and be a successful doctor/lawyer/engineer/accountant. Whatever happened to farming, cattle raising and other agricultural activities?? You people think the meat you eat fell from the sky ar?

Age 24~60 : Start work. Work work work. Money Money Money. Sex Sex Sex. Then Pension.

Age 60 onwards : Be a parasite leeching your kids until you die, or be treated as one and get dumped away.

Age 0~death : MUST KEEP IN TIME! in time for school, in time for work, in time to sleep.... there is even a guideline at a time that says what time to have sex. wtf?

My idea of life :
Age 1~7 : Enjoy
Age 7~11 : Be taught the basics of local languages and basic science.
Age 11~20 : Given a choice to learn whatever skills I want minus the competition.
Age 20~60 : Be able to enjoy work, have a great social life, get a wife who suits me very well and the money can fuck themselves. Who cares about money =/ I prefer health and food and sex.

Age 60 onwards : Enjoy life again, living off own savings. If kid feels generous, he can raise me.

Smething like that lar.. I never had to lead that kind of life before. COmplete freedom. never know whether it will work.
I suppose in the course of advancements.. we dump our life away and replace it with a zeal for comfort. Nobody seems interested in finding out the truth.

So lemme post a few questions here.
1) What if the entire galactic system around us is but an electron of a molecule?
2) So we are advancing. Where are we going towards?
3) Define time.
4) Where do we go after we die?

I suppose that's it. Its time to sleep * fuck it *. I just don't seem to care.. do I?
I am not happy.. I am not sad.. I don't even know my emotions anymore. =/ It all seems fleeting. Doesn't change anything.

Kooky. oh wait.. normal for me =/ stuff

Weird stuff that I have done/encountered so far in my life.. as far as i can remember anyway..

1. Buying chicken rice. I ordered "Boss, chicken rice don't want chicken."

2. Going to the local cinema with my bro. The show was rated 18SG. My bro bought tickets at the counter, and he said 'I adult, 1 child'. go figure.. the best part was the fellow at the ticket counter gave my bro the tickets xD

3. Ordered ORANGE sauced fried chicken and LEMON sauced fish fillet. The fried chicken came in yellow colour, tastes like lemon, and the fish fillet came in orange colour, and tastes like shit.

4. NILAM period in my school timetable.

5. Why when one person starts to hype up about Korean soaps, everyone starts to type Korean 'I love you' or 'Saranghae' with Korean alphabets in their MSN, or literally everywhere.

6. Zhi Wei

7. I never study when my aunt is around. This is because her very presence gives pressure and she sometimes makes a lot of noise. So I study when she is not around. And I play computer games when she is around. So when she is around and I am on the computer, she scolds me. =/

8. My niece. She was running around the house, singing seriously out of tune, screaming away, and when her sister came downstairs rather noisily she yelled at her sister 'Don't be so noisy lar!!' *nieces aged 8 and 6*

9. I kena spyware recently. The funny thing is... the spyware makes pop-ups when I access the net. They say 'Your computer may be infected. Buy antispyware today.'

10. Some girls.. they are so weird.. girls are weird :S

That's all I can remember for now. :)

Kooky stuff that I feel like doing.

1. When filling a form, try to write these.

Name : *your name* add 'the greatest' or anything you deem suitable
Address : write there, "Mr."
Sex : Always
Date : Call me anytime if you are an attractive female
Time : Check your watch and tell me.
Age : younger than you, older than your daughter
signature : F*ck you ( as in, signature phrase )
Current status : Dead
Marriage status : to my computer
Previous Job : Procrastinator Expert. Gets things done immediately.
Health Status : Lame
Blood type : Do I have a choice?

Sakit Kepala...

Entah mengapa macam ini =/

My bro came back. We are going to make our International Passport so that we can attend his wedding in Singapore. So.. went to Jabatan Imigresen. I tell you.. those people there... sakit kepala betul...

So, my dad went earlier when I was in school. So him and my bro made applied for it first, and took home a form for me. He signed it at the pengakuan ibu-bapa/penjaga ( I AM FREAKING UNDER 18 OKAYYY???? ) , then asked my bro to bring me there to make for myself. So i filled the form, took photos... bla bla bla..

Came to this counter. One fellow sat behind there. I passed him the form, he looked through two or three times. Then he looked at me.

"Bapa ada datang?" he asked.
"Tak."
"Mak ada datang?" he asked.
"Tak."

Then my bro came to the counter.

"Abang boleh?" my bro asked.
"Tak boleh." he said.
"Passport tak boleh buat. Kena tandatangan ibu atau bapa di sini *points at some never-before noticed corner of the form*"

So.. wtf =/ phoned my father. Waited 15 minutes. Then my dad signed it and I went to the counter again. This time, he looked through it two or three times again. Then, he looked at me.

"Passport tak boleh buat."
"Kenapa??"
"Kena ada photostat IC bapa dan IC original bapa."

Luckily, my dad was there. We went to photostat his IC, then went again to the counter.

This time, he looked through it another two or three times. Then, he looked at me.

"Passport tak boleh buat."
"*WTF* KENAPA??"
"Kena ada surat beranak."

FUCK LAR! CAN'T HE TELL IT TO ME ALL IN ONE GO?????

My dad went home to search for it. My bro got pissed off, he said apply for passport another day.

In the end, my surat beranak appears to be missing =/

Banyak sakit kepala..
Here's an interesting story by the way..

An ant hurried to find the other animals. It took him long, but in the end he did it.

"Guys, God created a new species to join us!!" the ant announced and pointed at the man.

The lion, the king went over to inspect. He tried to fake a pounce, but the man could not avoid any of the sudden attacks.

"Feeble reflexes. An unworthy creature." the lion said.

Then, the armadillo went to inspect the man. He hit the man a couple of times.

"Weak defense. An unworthy creature." the armadillo said.

The dog went over, and asked the man to identify different smells. But the man couldn't tell, all he could say was 'smelly' or 'smells nice'.

"Weak sense of smell. An unworthy creature." the dog said.

The elephant went over and inspected the human.

"Small and weak. An unworthy creature." the elephant said.

One by one the animals inspected the human. And all found him to be an unworthy creature in every instances. Finally, the ant went over.

"He is lazy, unlike us ants. We toil non stop, he lazes around non stop. An unworthy creature indeed." the ant said.

The lion turned to the human.

"You are imperfect in every sense. You do not belong here. Begone!"

So the human left. A few days later, the man came back with many guns and friends with him.

The lion was shot dead before he could even notice the humans. The armadillo curled up, but was pried open and shot dead. The dog tried to run, but who could outrun a bullet? The Elephant was angry, but what can an elephant do with so many rifles pointed at him and firing rapidly? The Elephant too fell. One by one, the animals were massacred.

Finally, the man found the ant. He grabbed the small ant with his two fingers, squished it and then stomped it several times. The man left feeling good.

The moral of the story is : You don't have to be perfect in anything to be a perfect Asshole. =P

I am such a lucky dude

Sila taip Nombor Kad Pengenalan anda..

*type type*

Tekan 'cari'

*click on 'cari'*

Sila tunggu....

....


.........

................


.............................

Cannot connect to server, please try again later.

Wtf.

*replay scene 1-5*

Took me half an hour to check my 'status peserta' :/

And then..


Sila tunggu..


.........

...............

....................

.........................

TAHNIAH! ANDA TELAH TERPILIH UNTUK MENYERTAI PROGRAM LATIHAN KHIDMAT NEGARA!!!

And I go like.. WHAT THE FUCK!@#????? *SMASH MONITOR SCREEN*

Initially, I checked. No. KP tidak daoat dicari. I sms-ed. KN *my IC* tidak terpilih. And now?? I re-checked via Internet and they tell me tahniah. Screwed up system =/ Malaysia Boleh indeed..

And then?? To spice things up.. I ponteng-ed school today. Had some sort of Hari Kecemerlangan Kokurikulum.. half the teachers involved, no prefect duties, no teachers to teach, what for I go??

*yesh baby, can sleep late, can eat roti canai for breakfast*

And in the end? I woke up with a FEVER. HOLY SHIT NOW I HAVE A VALID EXCUSE FOR NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!!!!! Spoils the fun of playing truant >.<

Sheesh, I gotta be the luckiest guy.. who has ever heard of a guy who gets sick when he doesn't go to school? I gotta be a mutant man..

Sucks.. :S

Zzzzzz....

Lazy to update.. but just to make this blog stir once in a while..

Latest news :
1. My two nieces are addicted to my computer now. DANG IT!
Ever since my niece approached me with her CD from an english text book, she pesters me to let her play it everyday. ( Note : Nieces aged 7 and 5 ) Its annoying, but hey, its for her education. The funny thing is, she doesn't understand what the hell those hippos are crapping about and still managed to 'tikam' until she gets full marks in the so called tests. O_o Don't I wish for those kind of luck?

2. My nephew is suspected of HFM-Disease. HAND FOOT MOUTH!!!
In Johor Bharu now. In hospital. He's such a cuttteee toddler. Poor thing lar wei..

3. I still do not have a life.

4. I still crave roti canai.

5. Tests are around the corner and I don't give a heck xD

6. More people acting cute around me and around my turf online. Annoys the hell out of me.

Aaaaaaanddddddd.. I downloaded Bill Watterson's Calvin & Hobbes from bittorrent. Every single strip ( Wonder whether its legal or not.. but well.. ). This is what I am probably going to do xD


Well what else? I suppose that's it.. until something interesting happens.. ciao!

My Essay for Mid Year Exam..

Before I begin, let me describe how this essay came to be.

I sat down at my place in class at 7.55am., feeling confident enough to take on the English paper one. I was certain I could reach my mark of 42/50 at least for the continuous writing.

At 8.00am, One hour and forty five minutes, it began.

When I finished my directed writing, I checked the watch.

WTFFFF?????9.10am????? SHIT ASS! 35 minutes left for continuous writing!

Without a second thought, I grabbed the question closest to me, question 5 ( lol, question 5 is at the bottom of the question paper, closest to me literally ) and started writing without even thinking. The title was simple, one word only ; "Books"

So I started introducing what was books. Then I wanted to say how important it is. Then, I thought to mention what it is used for and why is it important. So I began writing about the importance of reading. Then I went like 'WTF? Am i off topic again?' steer back to the roles of books. Then thought of how books can help improve language. Began writing about importance of reading again. Then I went like 'WTF? Am i off topic again?' steer back again. Then thought of my text book, and wrote about books in education. Then suddenly thought of 'Playboy' magazine ( don't ask me why, I don't know ) and I was like 'wtf lar, include everything only-lar..' then felt pissed off and ended it with a conclusion.

Checked the time. 9.25am. Wtf. I slumped down and died there. I produced a 3-and-a-half-page essay in 15 minutes. 20 minutes to go, and I just died there. I was like.. 'wtf, I would be happy if I can get 30 for this essay'. And then I died.

Enough said, this is the essay.

Books

In today's world, books come in many different forms and categories. We have magazines, comics, text books, novels and so forth. In the ancient human civilizations, people began writing on slabs of stone to store important information, or simply as messages. Then came the Chinese and Egyptians who invented paper, and later on these papers were put together to form a book. The uses of a book is simple, it simply functions as a vessel to store information or messages.

Because it is used to store information, we can say that books are actually tomes of valuable knowledge. Researchers, philosophers, professors and scientists for example put their findings and thoughts in books that they may refer to should any doubt come along. Philosophers like Plato wrote a great deal about his teacher, Socrates. Without Plato's writings, we would still be wondering how we got to today as these philosophers greatly influenced the progress of humanity.

Of course, books are tools for humans. Some humans are corrupt, and use these tools to spread their corruption. Although reading is encouraged, we must first ensure that what we read is healthy and not detrimental to our state of mind. While books can store valuable data, it can also give us misleading information. Therefore, we must be able to think and evaluate what we have read.

It is precisely this ability to think and analyze that people are encouraged to read books. It offers knowledge and serves to broaded a person's mind. For example, have you read the book "Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaardner? It revolves around the history of human philosophy. By reading such books, readers can be amazed by the achievements of people some time ago and probably even formulate their own thoughts and opinions. Books can therefore be declared a kind of communication method between the writer and the reader.

Other than that, books also play a major role in human life since ages long past. For example, I am sure you have heard of "Sun Tzu's Art of War". It is mainly about strategies in warfare and battles that can lead to victory and vanquishing your foes. Sun Tzu wrote all his stratagems and compiled what is simply one of the most famous and well known book even until now. In today's world, the information from that particular book is still used except that it is applied in the business 'war' instead of open warfare.

Even back to the time where one of the main religions of today, that is Islam, books played their role as well. The first order from Allah to Prophet Muhammad was for all followers to read. And as time progressed, devout Muslims gathered Prophet Muhammad's teachings and thus the holy book of Islam, the Qur'an was born. In Christianity, it is also the same thing. We have the Bible, a book entirely about the religion and teachings of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Without these books, religions would be a chaotic issue as people could not refer to the past teachings of these great pioneers.

Besides being a source of information that can be vital for humans, books also have their values, for example, in languages. By reading books, our human brain works to comprehend what we read. This indirectly strenghens our mastery of a particular language. In this case, Malaysians are said to possess a low standard of English language mastery in general. Many had debated about this topic, and one of the most used reasons is because the books are not widely opened and read. According to statistics, an average Malaysian reads two pages from a book in a year. Therefore is it not true that if a person reads twenty books in a year compared to two pages, his language mastery is better?

It is an undeniable fact that a person can get very resouceful if he or she reads all the time. Some people shy away from books because they find it boring. Like it or not, they can not escape the influence books have on our lives. Our education system uses text books and reference books which students have to pore through them over and over again to completely digest what they are being taught. Therefore, we can say that books are among the many factors of what shapes a person and determines their future in the social world.

In fact, the power of books is so great that it can trigger worldwide interest. Two very interesting examples would be the recent 'Playboy' magazine published in Indonesia and the author Dan Brown's famous 'The Da Vinci Code'. The 'Playboy' magazie has triggered a nationwide protest by the natives because it contains explicit materials. Now, if books were not viewed that importantly, who would even care what they are in it? The same goes for the much acclaimed "The Da Vinci Code' which received much accolades and as much put-downs.

In the progressng world, books are slowly being replaced by technology, In a couple of decades or centuries, inventions such as the Internet will totally replace books. While that might happen, just know that whatever happens, books had played its role for humanity and will continue to do so for a long time more. Therefore, tarry no more! Grab a book of a genre you like and start reading and flipping through the pages to fully receive and utilize the benefits they bring!

- End -

Total score : 44/50 - A

Teacher's Comments :
1. Attempts subject matter confidentsly
2. A few minor slips
3. Displays maturity of thought
4. Ideas flow. Evidence of planning is there
5. Vocabulary is wide

My comments on teacher's comments :
1. wtf?
2. of course
3. Wtf?
4. WTF???
5. :)

Sometimes, I am just so good I amaze myself xD. I did think the conclusion sucked big time though..

What about your comments?

Professionalism Chapter III

Professionalism again! First chapter was about barbers in my friendster blog, second was about dentists in this blog ( find it in the archives somewhere.. ) and now the third chapter shall be about.. doctors.

*backtrack backtrack..*

My bro came back from Singapore today! But somehow, ever since he has that fiancee of his, things are not the same anymore. My brother has changed, maybe because he will be getting married soon. But still, I don't like it. He reached Batu Pahat at 2 o clock. But he only visited my parents after he fetched me at 7.30pm. My dad was super pissed off. Because the first thing my bro and his fiancee did upon arrival was checking in the hotel and spending the entire day at Summit, the only half decent shopping complex here. Wtf man.. Somemore my bro actually converted to Christian because she is the only Christian in her Buddhist family. Go figure.

Anyway, my brother asked me how was my trip to Endau-Rompin.

Bro : How was your trip to the jungle?
Me : Ok lor.. very nice :)
Bro : Got see any tiger tracks?
Me : Ya, really got ler! We saw and took photos!
She : Have you considered that it is possible those people there made casts of tiger paw prints and made tracks around.. so that tourists come here and think they really saw tiger prints? Of course lar.. its for tourism what.. Do you think its possible? *nudge my brother*
Bro : maaayyybeeee...

Got me so pissed off. WHAT KIND OF SUGGESTION IS THAT? Seriously man.. how could she suggest such a thing? I mean, Ok lar, you have never been to the wilds before. Such an accusation is baseless, and furthermore, WHO THE FUCK HAS SO MUCH TIME TO DO SUCH A STUPID THING?

Anyway, back to the main topic. Yes, I am sick. Sick as in, having a fever with sore throat, extreme runny nose, cough, sleepiness, tiredness, very angry and pissed off. Right, normal syndromes for a normal fever. Anyway, because my father was too lazy to fetch me to the family doctor, we went to the nearest ( nearest as in, nearest to the restaurant we were eating at ) clinic. Clinic King.

I was like, WAHOWA. King syoot. Royal clinic.

Turned out the doctor was a woman with the surname King. wtf.

So I went in, registered and sat down alone. My parents and bro went to the nearby clock shop to buy clocks for his new house in Singapore. I got number 45, and the current number was 42. And I waited half an hour. Seriously..

With nothing to do, I just sat down and tried to notice everything while hoping time will fly by. And you know what I found out? Inside the entire clinic, there were only women and children, no penguins. So I was like, Shit ass, don't tell me this is a gynaeologist? Or a pediatrician? Am I in the wrong clinic...?

I went outside and read the words at the door. Serious spelling errors.

"Gynelogy. Kidary diseases. Medical Check up. Gall Bladders. Pediatrics..."

Well, at least there's that medical check up. But still, you know lar.. being the only guy there.. of course i feel uneasy lar!

So when my turn finally came ( at last! ) I went in, and the first thing that doctor asked me was..

Doctor :"What is your chinese name?"

Shit.

"Huang Wee Ming" I told her.

Doctor :"How do you write it?"

FUCK.

"I don't know. I never learned Chinese."

Doctor :*scribbles something* Is it this "Wee"? ( Chinese words )

Without looking at it, I said yes. Then, she asked me how to write my 'Ming'.

"I don't know."

She gave me the wtf look. I gave her the wtf look. Then we both felt like wtf.

So I sat down and she began the general diagnosis.

"Whats your prob?"
"fever"
*type type in computer*
"Sore throat got or not?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"Cough?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"Runny nose?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*
"You everything also got ar?"
"yes"
*type type in computer*

Then she checked my temperature ( 37.3, slight fever ), used the stethoscope on me. Bla bla, biasa lar.. normal sickness.

Then right, she turned and there was like.. 35-+ containers behind her. Wtf? So she took one, took out a big tablet and showed it to me.

"Quite big. Can swallow?"
"Can.. but.. swallow now ar?"
"Not now lar!"

She filled a strange looking round machine with the antibiotics capsules. And its those kind of strange machines you know.. with small compartments, one compartment for one dose of medicine.

She filled it with 7-8 kinds of medicines. WTF???

As she was filling them, she turned and showed me a square shaped little tablet.

"This one will make you sleepy. Eat it only at night. So if you want to do homework, or watch World Cup, don't eat this."

Then she on the contraption, it turned.. and a strip of small plastic bags began rotating below the turning compartments. Each dose of medicine fell into a plastic bag of its own, until the entire strip of around 8-10 small plastic bags all held medicine and were sealed tight. First time I see such kind of medicine-prescriber. High tech syott. I still prefer the traditional seal-by-pressing small plastic bags.

"RM27. Thank you" She said. I took out my wallet, thinking.. *Wtf, no wonder she only has one clerk in front and the least number of patients compared to the other clinics along this road. She does everything herself!*

"Pay outside. Thank you"
"..."

Note : All the conversation above was in chinese and directly translated.
Note : I will never go to that clinic again. So freaking embarassing.
Note : Everyone should go at least once lol. Then you will know.
Note : Doctor King is a Taiwan-trained doctor. Probably she is a Taiwanese herself, considering her surname is King.
Note : I left the clinic with the medicine given. But I don't know which tablet is for which symptom. So.. WTF!

Mat Chepor..

A moment of prayer for Mat Chepor.
Sometimes you can't help but wonder how fragile life is. This baby elephant suffered a year before it is put out of its misery.

I solemnly swear ( not swearing foul words.. swearing as in making an oath, or a vow ) I will make life miserable for those animal-killing motherfuckers. Other than the hot ass poker, gang raping, I think I need to implement new ideas to teach them to pick on helpless animals.

But for now, in this miserable world, the authorities should not say "Can not do a thing!". They should try to track down those fuckers and shoot them in the head.

Animals have a life too. They have emotions too. Humans self-declare to be the noblest race, 'makhluk yang paling mulia'. And what do we do? Fuck animals?

If that is the case.. we do not live up to our claims. Small wonder attendance in Hell is high.

Let's be a friend and co-exist peacefully with other species. Heck, I even think having a pet is a sin. My neighbour's dogs are tied up and kept in a cage that they appear to experience mental trauma now and then. His house got broken into, and he immediately plastered the side door and bought three huge ferocious dogs. Then he chains them up. They end up creating a foul stench with their dung and urine, and they appear miserable. Heck, each time I look at it, it stares at me. Like a stoned dog. This is not a life! This is a screwed up thing called a dog!

Someday penguins will rule the world. I hope they screw up these humans. Of course, the high seat of Penguinators, human rulers among Penguins will undoubtedly be reserved for me, Zhi Wei and penguin-conspirators.

Remember my philosophy? It still stands. The one about the world and infinitum..