Study

I really need to do some serious revision, but oh well.

The torrential emotions, namely the dread, the melancholy, the existential angst, the boredom, the lethargy, the distractions, the hopelessness, the pointlessness, and of course not forgetting the brain resistance to input.

With all those massless weightless yet heavy stuff on me, uhhh yeah I am procrastinating.

I shall do my best to cast aside all that is life, the mantle of emotions and focus as a zombie, as a robot would and figure out how to solve engineering problems!

I just wasted perhaps 20 seconds of your life. Cheerio

Edit 6/11/2010
P/S : Came across this passage by Bertrand Russel. In case you don't know who he is, he is a logician/mathematician/philosopher, an interesting one at that because he spent his whole life trying to prove numbers are logical. Numbers are axioms by the way, and axioms are stuff that are correct as we know but cannot be proved. One example is numbers, another example are the laws of thermodynamics. And perhaps one that everyone can relate to is the 2nd law of thermodynamics - Heat always flow from hot to cold (the premise being natural processes of course).

Anyway, the passage goes

"no fire, no heroism, no intensity of thought or feeling can preserve a life beyond the grave; that all labors of the ages, all the devotions, all the inspiration, all the noonday brightness of the human genius, are destined to extinction in the vast death of the solar system; and the whole temple of Man's achievement must inevitably be buried beneath the debris of a universe in ruins".

It does poetic justice to the existential angst  (the more proper word should be ontological?) angst in me :D

Somebody grab that running fellah! He's my sanity!!

So yeah, I'm losing it. Let me recount the stupid things these past few weeks :D

1) Being an idiot while doing a group project. Totally embarassed myself.

2) Being smart and asking lecturers questions via email. Totally embarassed myself with the stupid questions.

3) EPIC : Crossing the road when the traffic lights turned green. The car-traffic lights, not the pedestrian lights.

4) Forgetting to bring my cash card. Realized it after I ordered the food and the food is brought before my eyes. No cash at hand, only my debit card. EPIC : Forgot my debit card password. Went to the bank and remembered it AFTER I asked. Cute.

And almost gave wrong directions to a poor lost soul.

I think I'm studying too much = =" I need a rest.

P/S : I think number 3 is uber cool. I almost got ran over xD (its funny! Really! Because when I realized it I realized why people in the car were staring at me)

PP/S : I broke my speakers. 

Haha

I've pretty much just reminded myself that I haven't lived this past few weeks, and was about to before I realized I have to kill myself again for the next three weeks.

Maybe I'll live for 2 hours a day, and be a zombie robot as I study for my exams.

Or maybe I'll update this blog more often.

Problem Prabelem Prabulum

The problem with people is, there is always a problem.

Adults can be childish, children can be matured, but you bet your unwashed underwear, there is DEFINITELY a problem.

And I have written in this before, God (I remain agnostic, but swearing using God sounds cool) definitely screwed up when he made humans.

"To err is human", how apt. But to an engineer, you really don't want to have problems with your designs.

I find human problems trivial, and am sad that George Carlin became a problem when he died.

Life might be easier if you would just sit back and laugh at everyone running around in clothes, while you eat something nice. (Kumara perhaps? I grew to love them. Tasty shit)

But who am I but just another human with problems? And there is the problem, EVERYONE have problems. It would be a problem if you didn't have any problem, because people would probably be jealous of you and that becomes a problem.

I think I just confused myself, but never mind! Our race is a confused one, as I have noticed.

The monkey has two goals in life. Be the alpha, and feed and breed.

The man has but one goal in life. Find out what the heck he is doing here alive in the first place.

Blue

Today was a day like any other day, nothing special happened. But then again, nothing happened.

I scheduled my time for this weekend to be one that is filled with myself accomplishing coursework, as any supposedly sensible university student should (and every week at that).

Instead, I was moping around in my room the whole day, lacking the drive to do any work and indeed, found myself questioning and lacking the drive for life either.

Interestingly, I am not suicidal. I do not have suicide tendencies despite the occasional bouts of morbidity. I suppose that is good, but then again, I am such a cynic I do not attest to there being good or bad. I even doubt my own conscience sometimes (the presence of it).

I paced around in my room the whole time, thinking and searching for something worthwhile to do. I probably have been doing this my whole life, but it struck me particularly today that I have nothing worthwhile to do, and did nothing worthwhile in my 21+ years of life. It is at this time I realized that, 'Man.. I really do have lots of time don't I?'

I would prefer it to say I am not being emo, but rather that in my course of studying past philosophers and philosophizing on my own, I am increasingly certain that we do not know what we are doing.

In science, this is what is happening as I observed. Physicians are constantly unearthing new discoveries, and it is the mathematics that make it so damned hard to understand anything at all. And also, by deriving mathematical relationships logically, we find that we are using expressions without really understanding the physical meanings behind it.

I guess it is time in the race for progress (to where I wonder) that we take the periodic dose of stepping back and evaluating what we have done, why have we done that, and what next should we do. Or else we might face the consequences of losing ourselves in the process of finding ourselves. The irony.

I hope there's a great weather when I wake up. I should take another walk in the park.

Just to show that I am not modern-kids-emo, here's a lovely side shot of me and KS by UMSA's photographer :D

Fate

In case you're turned off, I'm not going to discuss from a philosophical context what I think fate is.

But, really.

I'm a person who loves to commune with nature. Auckland provides much opportunities for that. The animals here seem like a bunch who are used to human presence, and in their heads the only mathematical equation that exists has to be HUMANS = BREAD.

Auckland has lovely parks. And well maintained at that, with the flowers in full bloom and their scent is in the air. And speaking about birds, has anyone tried feeding birds? Its fun, in a sense. The pigeons here actually are willing to jump and perch on your hand as you feed it. The little robins are shy and more cautious, but the sight of bread makes them abandon all else and jump into the fray. The ducks and geese sometimes come in, with the occasional gulls. Its fun.. until you have 12836124128936 x 2 eyes staring at you.

But at least they are harmless. I think.

The main point of today is, as I said, I am a person who loves to commune with Nature. I think there is a connection between us and the Earth and other living beings, something inexplicable. I do not think we can save the world though, its stupid really the environmental campaign thing. In a way its smart cause most people are stupider.

Anyway, I deviated again. As I 'typed', I am a person who loves to commune with Nature. One day, after feeding the birds and enjoyed a moment of silent communion with Nature, I decided to go shopping.

The sky was a beautiful azure, with an occasional cloud. I couldn't help but stare at it as it awoke a slumbering poet in me. I felt as though a beautiful poem was waiting to be composed, eventhough I don't compose poems.

Then, guess what? A really beautiful ass came in front of me. No, not a donkey. Okay, I meant a woman who had a really nice ass. I don't know how she looks like though, the way she was walking was really distracting. And her back was facing me all the time.

There I was, torn into two. The slumbering poet was pissed off, and the man is awakenening.

Fate, has bestowed upon me two wonderful things to look at. Both at the same time.

What should I do, I have but a pair of eyes. Shall I gaze upon the lovely blue sky, or shall I gaze upon the peach discreetly? I can't control my eyes to look at both!

As I walked, I pondered. Contemplated. Debated. Raging emotions, akin to a stormy sea.

When I decided, the ass had turned away into another street.

I felt cheated. Fate had played a joke on me.

Sometimes I think I think too much. Really.

PS : This is a true story. I posted this because I wanted to lighten the mood in this blog ever so slightly :D I am not a gloomy person! I just think a lot

Love!

Looking back at the few posts, I have been so overly serious that its so gloomy. Its late at night, and I feel very tired. That's when all the brain juice comes out.

I return as Professor Leslie and today I shall analyze teenage love! (for some reason its the first thing that comes to mind when I was thinking of something to ramble on).

Disclaimer : I am not psychologist, no expert, nobody! This post is largely intended to poke fun and take jabs at everyone and mean no offense to anyone is particular. In short, its nothing personal. And if I ever write stuff that pisses you off, too bad. If I am legally in the wrong, FORGIVE ME~~~~~~

Continue on.

After not-so-much thought, I have decided that the media largely is to blame for the sorry state the emotion is today. Love is worshipped as the ultimate emotion, transcending every single shit in existence.

Yeah right.

So let's think about it. Hmm..

When we're kids, Disney tells us stuff (here's to you, Aimee). What stuff? Happily ever after. True Love ALWAYS wins, no matter how evil how fugly how smart the villian is, they will always LOSE because they have no love. And the princess always live happily ever after.

Ok, now grow up slightly. Songs come to mind. Wohoo, lots of songs. AND GUESS WHAT? 99% of the songs are about love (in the past). How innocent your love is, they sung it. How beautiful your love is, they sung it. How heartbroken you are because of love, sang it. How lonely you feel because you don't have a love, sang it. How much you want to make love to that random person (James Blunt, anyone?), sang it. Perhaps even how much you want to be a paedophile has been sang. By your neighbour's dog maybe.

Now we advance a bit, and get slightly older. Songs still in our head, Disney still haunting some people(Aimee). Oh, guess what? Here comes along Korean soaps. And glorified Hollywood at its best. Korean soaps with all its sappiness, and Hollywood with all their sex bombs. Oh and Bollywood too. What do you get? Illusioned.

Allow me to explain. From watching Korean soaps (or wherever they come from. As long as its sappy), it reinforces the brainwashing you had when you were younger. You need love, someone who will be happily ever after with you. From watching Hollywood, that someone must be a fucking sex bomb. Erm, from Bollywood.. I'm not sure. Have lots of friends perhaps?

So, ever wondered why people always complain about their spouses but worships these idols?

So I have come to the conclusion, perhaps we are all mistaken about the simple emotion that appears apparently to be inherent in most creatures capable of sentient thoughts (woah, long and heavy there). Put it simply, some animals know love too (since the definition is so vague, anything goes I suppose).

The problem here being that, we have been brainwashed by the media since young. No, there is no immediate harm to it, in fact its probably physically harmless.

Problems come when you begin to EXPECT love. Heh, even from a dog. And surprise, dogs can love you better.

See, its not wrong to expect love. I'm being confusing here, but never mind. I should define the problem by stating it, as what an engineer should do.

"PROBLEM comes when you expect the one who loves you do everything you expect him/her to do".

Was that simple enough? In short, expecting people to cater to your fantasies (or desires. Fetish if you like.) So, during courtship tolerance is high. Love is in the air anyway, its like alcohol. After you have settled down a bit, its like you begin to see the other person clearly. That's when a new love emerges. Love to complainnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

So, it makes people miserable because as they complain, they convince themselves that there is something seriously wrong with their partner.

So really, just a community message from your friendly Professor. Love is a good thing. Just don't OD on it like weed. Get the right ideas of love and what to expect. And lay off the novels a little once in a while. Real vampires sparkle anyway, I heard. Oh and I have not heard a single song of Justin Bieber's (what an achievement), but I can pretty much guess what sort of songs he wrote (note: 99% songs are about love. I have a 99% chance of getting it right. The statistics was made up, but could very well be accurate). While I'm at it, what's the craze about Lady Gaga until NOW?

PS : Being one who has never been in a relationship with girls, I am perhaps the least qualified to speak of such relationships. But I assert that I am an asshole :D! and that I have plenty of experiences as an observer.

Now I think I should sleep, my brain went off just moments ago with my hand still typing on the keyboard until now.

Curse!

While I do make a direct attempt to avoid contemplating on issues regarding ethics, sometimes its hard. Really.

Been watching too much anime, but you'd be surprised at the depth of stuff discussed in these Japanese animations (provided you watch the right ones. Some of them are really subtle).

Now the question is, would you kill someone at the cost of your soul, and nothing else? What it means is you go to hell when you die, there is no other way around it. In exchange the person you wish to kill will be sent to Hell immediately.

The premise here being Hell Girl. Interesting story, nonetheless.

Hmm

As the title suggests, I suck at titles.

But well, been meaning to do this post for some time (my housemates and the constant call for blood on the computer does NOT help).

Onward to the topic of discussion this time : Racism.

First and foremost, a vaguely related note. Personally, I find the idea of patriotism and nationality a somewhat "bad" idea. I would envision humanity without borders, just one species plaguing the world without distinction from each other. But well, there's still time for our species to grow eh?

And regarding the issue of racism in my homeland, it strikes me that we are still in a paradoxical situation. Strange that, when asked, most people would say they have good friends from other races. They agree on unity and harmony. But really, if everyone says that, who the heck is fanning the fire then?

Politicians, no doubt.

Despite the obvious blame that people are pointing at the politicians, I would like to in turn point back at everyone. Let's face it. We are an immature bunch.

Why do I type so? In my honest opinion, we have yet to achieve a decent state of racial harmony. There are no sensitive issues, only sensitive people. At the mention of anythiing remotely racist, you can bet your money people will begin condemning them. The racist people I mean. They get angry, they flame, they curse and they call for blood of the racist people.

Interestingly, when you detach yourself from being 'one of them' to being an 'observer', you find that pretty much we're doing the same thing as politicians. Calling for blood. Asking for justice.

I am not saying that we should not allow people to be trampled on by policies that are discriminating. I am also not asking that people condone the acts of those in the obvious wrong.

Merely stating that, when can we, as a society, tear down the barrier that is known as 'race', not only in my country, but in the whole wide planet? When can we, as a society safely ignore people who utter extreme remarks and regard them as deranged and that's it? When can we have no need to call for justice or blood of those who would threaten others?

Such barbaric creatures we are, always calling for blood of our kin.

I don't know about you, but certainly I would not seek blood (unless I have godlike powers and cease to be human, but that's another issue) of others.

Ultimately, that is what we are I guess, humans. We revel in conflict, we worship gods of war.

And I do hope someday, my homeland will be a place of peace, where religion and racial issues are spoken of openly and respectfully. Differences are celebrated, not tolerated.

PS : We do not need tolerance. We need acceptance more, don't you agree?

Busy!

I have tons of assignments, tests, duties, commitments and all coming up, but really...

fuck them all and lets update the dying blog.

First of all let me lament for the breaking of my beloved phone. She died suddenly, and would not wake up. I feel like I lost a lover.

... *sighs*

Anyway, on to today's update!

I shall talk about a random topic, and the first thing that came to mind is education!

Mind you, I pursue knowledge and wisdom earnestly. Its just that sometimes I dabble in epistemology, and suddenly all knowledge I have is reduced to utter bullshit.

But anyway, I always did have the feel that I am a failed product of a miserable attempt at education. Not a problem of mine. And certainly those in my generation are, whether they realize it or not.

An education based on the importance of knowledge, i.e educating people by telling them stuff, in my opinion, is the simplest but rather a stupid thing to do. The reason we are applying this is simple, really. We can't teach wisdom. (Reason 2 being that people are naturally stupid)

Now, the situation has balanced itself out (I would use equilibrium, but I would be called a fucking nerd). Everybody, around the world (yes, apparently my current uni does this as well. To some extent though, not 100%. But that's really my own personal opinion, and not meant to insult or flame or anything negative) is enrolled in an education that, well, 'teaches' you new stuff by telling you all about it.

Sure, they tell you about it, you remember it, you go for exams and they ask you about it, you answer it and you pass it. Then you forget it. Just bits and pieces remain. Something lingers in your brain, but when really put to the test, bet you can't do shit. Try taking a history exam in SPM again now, huh? Or even Geography (or Maths. I suck at maths). Bet I will fail it.

As such, I have began educating myself. I swear, Auckland's changing me a lot. I feel grown up sometimes.

How do I educate myself? I accumulate wisdom (or at least, I think I am).

I first study the history of philosophy, and how science came about (school of thought in empiricism. Thanks to empiricists like Berkeley).

Then I study philosophy itself, what all the crazy nutcases in the past with nothing better to do thought up of, and those changed the world.

Then, now's the tricky part. I formulate my own thoughts on EVERYTHING. (Note : I might still have zero wisdom, but my arrogance refuses to admit that). That's when I realized, everything I did up to the age of 21 was meaningless and full of shit! A terribly exciting revelation, really (and I consider that an accomplishment). Nono, this is not depression. In fact I am extremely jovial about it.

Imagine achieving nothing and yet appearing to be doing something, and all these helps secure my livelihood (I hope). Bet you didn't think of looking at it this way eh?

But no, while that is what 'normal' (I would say unenlightened, but I would be a bigot and an arrogant bastard if I wrote that) people usually do, I do not agree with that life. Why live, then? (apart from feeding and breeding, which is what nature dictates us to do).

Really, the reason education fails is because first, our forefathers who have insight, do not know how to teach that insight. How do you teach someone how to think anyway? Nobody knew.

(But really, if you need someone to teach you how to think, you FAIL big time)

But you can't get someone to seriously think without something to spur them on. And that something happens to be knowledge, or some people are born naturally curious. Naturally born philosophers I call them.

So yeah, you need to know stuff (or just be curious) to know how to solve problems or answer questions. So they began telling us stuff, and we began telling stuff to our kids. No sweat there.

When and where did the problem began, then? No idea. Somewhere along the passing of knowledge, someone forgot the original purpose. And we just kept passing on the knowledge and swallowing it whole, nobody even knew how to question.

So yeah, we know heaps lot (I hope), but we don't know shit.

PS : I am so amazed as to how fucking amazingly lazy people can get. Imagine, some of us have invented a toilet THAT WIPES YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!

Leslie

is uber busy

(Just thought highlighting my name as the title seems cool)

And...

Philosophy's such a cheap word now isn't it?

So is intelligence.

Oh while we're at it, common sense has become not so common anymore.

Sigh.

Conceit

Carlin said, we humans are arrogant in thinking that we need to save the planet. I agree with him, I did notice that if you just sit down and think for 5 minutes, arrange the facts together and just ask yourself a simple question, 'What exactly is the planet being threatened by?', you soon arrive at the answer that (ignoring those astronomic cannons and blasts and whatnots that can vaporise the planet)

...... well.. nothing. Humans are the ones in danger, but we like to glorify ourselves and say that we must save the planet and everyone else; and be a hero in the process. Everyone's a hero now.

There is nothing wrong with the planet. Mother Earth does not regard Global Warming, pollution and whatnots as a threat, she just spins around as usual while we little pricks worry about how she will die.

Personally? I have no intention of preserving the environment for the sake of humanity. Never did. I just enjoy the company of trees and birds and great weather from time to time, and I wish to preserve that. Not avoid some catastrophic calamity in the weather that will wipe us out. If it will, it will.

I wonder am I contradicting myself there.

Michio Kaku said that we humans are supremely arrogant to expect aliens to visit us. It is conceit at the maximum level to expect that xenos thousands or maybe millions of years more advanced than us will come to us one day and impart knowledge to us.

He said that, well, a far advanced race (Stage 3s he called them, but i'll avoid terms here) than us will be humans to us as if we were ants. And what do you do if you come across an ant colony? Step on a few of the ants.

So he aptly came to a conclusion that, well if they visited us, they'll probably kick our ass.

I did wonder about that as well. Aliens being aliens, I'll be grateful if they don't eat my cereal in the morning, much less expect technology from them. Should they come anyway.

Bill Bryson wrote in his book 'A short history of nearly everything', i forgot which page, hell i am not going to cite here. Citation is tough work. Not an engineer's interest, definitely.

Anyway, Bryson said something that clicked with me. 'We all want to be good looking, have multiple sexual partners (all incidentally damn good looking at that), we want to talk to animals, we want to know lots of stuff and control pretty much everything from the weather to what we want for breakfast'. Ok not the exact words, but you get the idea.

So, what more can I say? We people as a species is different from others probably not in terms of our intelligence, but probably our ego.

I do not recall a chimp or a dolphin telling me that it wants to dominate the world (Powerpuff girls is not a factual thing. I mentioned that because there's a archvillian monkey. I think its not factual, it does not belong to our reality, I think... I'm not sure)

But then again, I don't speak Chimps.

A brief interlude

A brief interlude within the transient everflowing time,

for exams.

Fuck

Update

At Aimee's insistence, I shall update this dying blog.

Really, I have enough stuff in my head to write 500 blog posts, so much so that nobody can actually understand anything from reading it all in one go.

I am indulging myself in heavy volumes of philosophy-ing, and naturally i find myself increasingly detached from reality.

Well, we do take things for granted. Go along the streets and ask someone what they think time is.

Well what do you think time is anyway. Common answers should give you 'the dimension that is measured from point A to point B'. Interesting. More common answers should give you 'Look at your clock', but really those are exactly the people who takes things for granted.

If you're not confused yet and willing to soldier on in this post, good for you.

Perhaps what is most taken for granted is existence itself. Nobody questions why they are here, and the ancient idea of God and his creative week is still the.. I don't know if its widely or not but its the accepted solution I guess.

Interesting. God decided to be creative and created humans. And we are to be punished/to make paradise/ whatever whatever.

Really, there's no answer. Science tells us pretty much we're an accidental product from a string of 0.1% probability events. There's so probable many ways to make our race extinct you could list them down and laugh at it, only its not funny. But life goes on strangely. Many people don't realize that.

I do realize there are people who take philosophy in healthier doses. That's why I don't generalize everyone anymore, I use the term 'many people' now, to denote 99% of the population.

Thinking is a luxury, in case you don't realize it. From reading, hearing and meeting a few people, I generally got the idea that when livelihood is threatened, you don't think so much. Survival is top-most.

And when your livelihood is not threatened, you're in a safe zone and filled with comfort, you forget about thinking.

Or you could be like me, who realized that we don't even know why we're fighting to survive.

Ah in case you're wondering, I am not being emo or depressed, I am healthy mentally and physically(I hope) and happy. I just don't understand what am I doing here being healthy and all. I guess I tend more towards slightly angsty, and am more inclined towards existentialism philosophy now. But I might go slightly further with philosophy, so far without much reading on the topic.

Really, you don't need knowledge to start philosophy. Just your mind. And occasionally get some input using your senses. And occasionally you might find that the conclusions you arrive at for some topics actually were thought of by others. That's when you realize there's still hope for humans. There are some people who still thinks, thank god.

And really, at that point there is some satisfaction eventhough you can't claim credit for originality. It is a sort of assurance that you are thinking along a somewhat 'right' way. But that is disputable, but I did feel some sort of relief at times when I discover that my conclusions actually matched a well known scholar from elsewhere and at a different age without prior knowledge.

For starters, if you want to start philosophy, just go out and take a stroll. Randomly set your eyes on anything and ask why is it like that. There you begin your journey of random thoughts.

One question still puzzles me though. Why is the grass green? Chlorophyll is all and well, reflecting green waves is all and well, but why that particular colour arises is interesting. I can't get a conclusion yet. I'll probably spend a few hundred more hours on this.

Lonely Planet

Sometimes I get the strange feeling that, despite all the lifeforms on the planet, our planet is still feeling lonely.

Weird ain't it?

Just to say I am alive.. I think

Its been a whole three months and three weeks and three days.

Since my last update.

Of course, I can offer you a lot of reasons why I am not updating this blog. But the prime reason above all is... I am so lazy.

I have many things to share, to type, but somehow putting them on public doesn't sound that great to me. Because some of it are so offensive people will mail me bombs from Malaysia to New Zealand.

So I keep a private journal. I'll leave that journal to Aimee when I die, I'll mention it in my will.

So, haha.

__________________________________________________________

One of the most important thing I notice is, woah why are road works following me everywhere? Last year when I was in Grafton, they started this mega bridge makeover.

This year, I am in Mount Street. And right after I moved in.. Mount Street is being street make-overed.

Interestingly, I have come to the realization that some humans are still pretty much barbarians. Regularities in life somehow breeds a wild side in us. Regardless of race.

Why do I say that? No, not the drug addicts or the Mat Rempits back home. Its some group of white kids who come by every night (like.. 1am?) to the Uni Residential Hall opposite my place.

Just to yell 'O'rorke SUCKS!'. For half an hour. And then they realize they are ignored. And they leave and come again next day.

Wtf? Whatever makes them happy.

__________________________________________________________

Life in Uni is good so far. Still haven't got a chance to see a girl undress in the opposite unit, but we can keep hoping right? They don't bloody draw the curtains to do whatever stuff. Friend said he saw some people making love. Interesting.

On a side note, whats with society and resumes? Everyone's obsessed with resumes and CVs. Takes the fun out of everything, and everything done is just for the sake of the bloody CV. This defeats the purpose of the CV in the first place.

I believe the CV/resume is just a summary of your life that lets the employer or whoever pretty much get an idea of how you lead life. A well filled CV is definitely a good one, but joining shit JUST for the sake of filling up the CV is only going to make you an asshole. Take that.

On another side note, I am probably going to suicide during the winter break (break, i typed as berak. I corrected it). I am going to bungee jump in south! Unless I go for plan B which is Melbourne (after Aimee leaves that goddamned place)

Update from Malaysia!

Hello people (or person. That's you Aimee. I doubt anyone but you read my blog)

I am safely back in Malaysia, and still filled with shit.

Sometimes I do wonder why humans are all full of shit. Don't you ever wonder why you go to toilet EVERYDAY and still have shit in you?

(And yes I know its because you eat everyday)

Anyway, I am safely back in BP after a brief stop in Singapore and JB (I still remember someone actually pointed out to me that JB is the state and Johor is the city. I am amazed by Malaysians as always)

My nieces are all veryyyyyyyyy cute. Insanely cute. They drive you nuts about them.

But they are not the main topic for today.

I have noticed that driving in Malaysia is indeed dangerous. Malaysians do not give way to you if you're making a turn or changing lanes. And while they're at it, they make sure you give way to them. By making dangerous stunts that force you to avoid or collide (that sort of rhymes).

Second thing is, I always thought of BP as a small city. Better than a town. With this many cars and people and malls, you would be inclined to agree with me.

If so, why are my neighbors rearing chickens? Not to mention my next door neighbour who kept 3 dogs after his house was burglared (2 rottweilers and one dead).

The dogs are kept in a cage 24/7 and hosed with cold water. Figures they will drop dead sooner or later. I wonder if this is animal abuse. Probably is, but I guess I can't be bothered. I am a Malaysian after all.

Now what pisses me off are the chickens. This is too much. I live in a residential area. Dogs are alright. CHICKENS? What, you hoping for eggs everyday or what? If you want to eat it, but it fresh from the supermart or the market or the farm. If you want eggs, you can get them virtually everywhere. Why the hell are they keeping chickens that cuckoo every 15 seconds during the day?

Speaking of which, animal activists are an interesting lot in my opinion. If the animal is born to be eaten, personally I do not even consider it to be a living thing. Its destiny is the slaughter house and that is the ultimate cruelty. Campaigning against keeping animals in small pens and the like is missing the main point.

This is my personal opinion, I repeat.

If you really want to help them, campaign to get people to be vegans. If you insist on campaigning for them, then you might as well launch activities against keeping fish in aquariums. After all, its an enclosed space and they are in an unnatural environment. Chances are they die earlier that their natural lifespan allows (ignoring the predation factor).

No, you love animals, you want to help them, you don't eat them. Simple as that. Saying you're cruel to animals that are going to end up in the slaughter house is missing the main point.

While I am at it, I am intrigued by the invention of 'fake' meat. Chinese people really can do everything. The introduction of vegan meat is an interesting one. I mean, vegetarian meat? Vegetarian MEAT?

For those of you not familiar with it, its made of dough (I think) and added with bean seasonings that make it slightly saltish. What amazes me is they can control the texture to vaguely resemble the real deal.

You want to go vegan, you don't eat meat. You don't think of meat. Why are you eating even vegan meat? Its against the idea of meat abstinence. It shows your inability to forget meat, and you find a compromise with eating MEAT that is not animal sourced.

Well to me that is another source of delicacy. To you vegans, this is my opinion, don't even think about it even if its vegetarian. Calling it meat is mocking you and your idealogies. (unless you're vegan for health and not for compassion)

Its like I shun the devil and make a pact with the cultist. (Ok bad analogy. I should have come up with a disgusting one)

People!

Since I have some free time before I retire to my jaded slumber, let me enlighten you stupid people! (with a torch light)

Anybody like Dilbert? I like the way Scott Adams keep telling everyone they're idiots. And the comics do portray some rather obvious idiotic acts that the engineer and the people around him does.

Well surprise, you guys aren't that much smarter. If I were to do an experiment, I bet you guys rank somewhere above a spider and below a bird. (that was a rough estimate though)

Of course, I would rank slightly higher than you bunch of idiots.

Before you start getting offended (though I think you should be by now), let me give you some questions to think about.

Question 1
Think about the past 10 topics you and your friends have talked about. Bet it either includes sex, money, bitching about others, or your lame movies (that is why I don't watch many movies or even TV at all), studies or work to name a few.

Question 2
You don't give a shit about statistics, do you? All that talk about 1 car 12183384 tonnes of CO2 per year, 1 person @!*#^#!@$!$ tonnes of shit and land waste and the likes. Non of you give a shit. How many of you are even bothered by the Holocaust or the Peking Massacre?

Question 3
Who do you admire? If its your father, that's so primary school. If its one of the 21338434 singers of the west whose songs don't make an ounce of sense, well you probably just like the music. Not the person. If its your prime minister, you're bloody damned stupid.


Well, what I'd like to highlight is actually this. You people are stuck in this world and you don't know shit (haha!) No really. I'm being serious here.

For instance, can anybody actually even explain to me why do we even exist? Forget the shit about God, I can accept the argument that God created humans. No problems there. BUT WHY????

This is where it gets interesting. Religion can give you many interesting answers, some of them don't make sense, but most of it has some elements of wisdom in it.

Problem is, non of you realize it. Oh sure you realize it, you post it in your facebook status don't you? I just love it when someone puts a quote and says how meaningful it is. 99% of the time its sappy shitty corny lovey dovey crap.

I am a critic. A cynic and most probably skeptic too, but at least I think about my surroundings.

How many of you ever wondered why the grass is green huh?

In the end you humans are just a bunch of zombies who're proficient at bitching, feeding and of course, breeding.

For a start, lets make all public servants including the Prime Minister take public transports to work and ban cars for people earning less than Bill Gates. That should give us some good results. Solves overpopulation, pollution, corruption and improves the public transport too!

*No, I am not emo. I am just plain pissed. Really.

Mental cases

This is the view from my room window in Auckland during Spring. Its really nice.

I keep telling my stalking victim Aimee that I want to develop some mental problem so that I can be

1) infinitely much more annoying
2) And have a valid reason to be annoying, which is annoying + frustrating to others

Alas, I have failed for I underestimated the power of mankind.

Sometimes I get defeated by sheer naivety. My desperate attempts to be really annoying by saying totally unrealistic stuff failed because the victim believed me.

At times I get defeated by sheer lack of humour. The victim gave me a totally pissed look and the look-I-will-beat-you-up-if-you-go-any-further.

And most of the time, the victims just laugh when I say something stupid purposely.

Epic fail.

Now the professor shall list a couple of mental cases that are either attempted to develop or will attempt to develop.

Top on the list :

1 ) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

For more information, check it up on wikipedia. Basically it sort of mean having the compulsion to MUST DO IT THAT WAY sort of thing. I like to collect stuff (and I probably have this problem though its not really a disorder), and most of the time I like to identify a pattern which will make them all nice and ordered. Take books for example, they.must.be.from.the.same.publisher. Why? Because the cover will be similiar of sorts, and the spine decorations will be of a nice pattern. Details omitted, but I got really pissed off one time when my aunt bought me a book from another publisher and I was mentally fantasizing burning that book.

2 ) 3-D complex

I don't know the exact term for this, so I made up that complex. It means an unhealthy obsession with a 3-D object, humans included. Aimee has this complex. This complex can be further divided depending on its object of interest. Siblings-obsession, celebrity obsession and the likes all fall under this category.

3 ) 2-D complex

This is an interesting one. Its an unhealthy obsession with 2D stuff, almost exclusively fictional characters (why 2D? Take mario for example. He's a sprite. Period.) This complex is slowly evolving into 3D, simply because now technology has the ability to generate 3D fictional characters.

One most interesting characteristics about this complex is it occurs mostly in guys (I think). There are many lifeless people out there who obsess with characters from animations or games. Trust me on this, everytime I go wallpaper hunting I will drop by the forums. And I see titles like 'which anime girl will you marry'. There was one guy who collected dakimakura covers (dakimakura is japanese term, not sure what it exactly is, but I think they are bedsheets or something.) The cover does not come with pretty butterflies or fish or even Garfield, there's a picture of an anime girl character in EXTREMELY suggestive position (self-help anyone?). By the way, I looked it up. They are not cheap. (100USD each is not cheap to me, not for these kind of stuff. And I am so not interested in it).

4) Plushie fetish

I invented this term. Seems to me that I am buying a lot of stuffed toys for the kids at home. And just before giving them away, I like to play around with it and try and find whats so interesting about it. In time, I realized I could probably annoy people really good if I made the point to the victim that I think more of the plushy compared to the victim.

Alas, epic fail. I became the victim. So much for being original.



These are the latest ones I bought for my cute little nieces. That's my Gundam model behind and the fearsome Monster Penguin on my coin can. The main object is the Kiwi bird, the penguin and the Pukeko (its an endemic swamp chicken in NZ. For those of you who can't understand 'endemic', it means its only found in a certain geographic location. In this case, its NZ)

I would call them finger puppets, but that would so nice and innocent. And so not me. Thus, I name them 'I like it up my ass plushies'. Crude. Yeah they're for kids.

Another purchase I bought is an interesting plushy. There's no name for it, but its the type where 'pull my tail and I shake!'. I was thinking it would jump around like Monster Penguin, but alas I got the shock of my life. ITS A FREAKING VIBRATOR. Nevertheless I bought it. Its fun and disturbing.

The last one is somewhat normal. It squeaks when you press it. Good for mental squishing the cute animal, because it makes a sqeak sound when you squish it. High pitch or low pitch? Just control the speed and strength you use to squish it.

5 ) Wiki-ism

Obsession with Wikipedia. Nobody is free from it.

6 ) Lezard-ism

This is a reference to the game Valkyrie Profile 2 in PS2. Symptoms include :

• Super unhealthy obsession with a Goddess
• Acute power hungry-ness which leads to

• Self proclaiming one as God, and using force to do whatever is desired.

7 ) Youtube fever

I am sure you know more about this than me, so I will cease any explanations before I even start.

I will defy George Carlin's law of 10 in a list and settle for 7 for now. I am sure many of you can relate to at least 2 of the above MWAHAHHA (the lezard mental case sounds interesting. I might do it someday)

Edit :

Number 8)

Facebook obsession. You people spend so much time on facebook and its apps, it annoyed the hell out of me. Unfortunately I am the victim here.

Number 9)

Room Obsession. I notice many scholars have this. The tendency to lock one self up in the room and study (or maybe jerk off or something.) I do not understand this case, and it annoys the hell out of me. The sun is losing popularity it seems. Unfortunately, I am the victim again.

Now, I just made myself sound normal didn't I? I am victim to so many of the cases above, it defeated my original purpose of listing these