Haha

As the title suggest, I do not have a title again.

But, today I am posting up something interesting again.

I find that, I really do do interesting things from time to time.

Guess what I did this time? (Nope, not the talking to myself part. I still do though, when I am alone for long periods of time)

I was walking to the gym with my friend Jason. A lady approached Jason and asked for directions.

Being the idiot dumbass he is, he doesn't know where Maidment theater is. Despite being here for a year and passing by the place soooooooooooooo many times.

He turned to me and passed the question to me.

I knew where it was, and I told her.

Thing is, I told her the right location. INTERESTING thing is, my finger pointed at the opposite direction.

* I didn't realize it until Jason asked me where, I told him and he was like 'Isn't that the other way than what you pointed to her?'. Wtf.

I am a dumb fuck sometimes HAHA xD

Degree

Celcius.

Sorry for that lame thing -_-.

Anyway, I wanna talk about degrees. I mean certificates here.

People are stupid. I don't know why, but its the truth. People are stupid. I love saying that, it makes me forget I am one of the people. People are stupid.

Why do people like to think that they can't do shit without a degree? People are stupid. I don't need a degree to shit now do I? What's with this degree craze? And the university just loves to award degrees don't they? Even hopelessly stupid people can get degrees. So to solve the problem of finding out who's the smarter one, they made first class honours degree, and second class and third class and fourth class. Brilliant.

Next thing you know, universities award degrees for knowing how to shit. And not everyone can get that degree, trust me. Many of you will get fourth class degree in that by the way. Aimee claims you people SQUAT on SIT toilet bowls. How on earth do you get first class honours degree in shitting if you do that?

I just love it when people start going on and on about success in life. Why is success in life all centred around money anyway? ...what the fuck?

True, money is a medium of exchange we invented. It carries a value that we can exchange it for whatever we want. Funny thing is, everywhere there's inflation every year. Which means the value of money is dropping, due to some weird economic mechanism that is evil at work here. The value of money is dropping? Simple solution. Make more money. More money means more value, and more value means you can still do the same shit.

Stop worshipping money. Worship me instead. At least I can verbally abuse you to make you feel better.

I'll proceed to convince you people why you should worship me instead of money.

1) Money makes you feel guilty.
This is a pseudotruth. People feel happy when they get money. But if they overspend, they feel guilty. If the money is dirty money, that is money earned through deception, people feel guilty (that is if they have conscience).

I can make you feel guilty. Just tell me all your sins and I'll verbally abuse you into depression. So I can actually do what money does here.

2) Money can buy stuff
This is a fact. Buying is exchanging a certain amount of money for stuff you don't need.

I don't need to do anything here. I have fulfilled the role of money thus.

3) Money is dangerous
You can get robbed anytime. You freak out calculating your money.

I am dangerous too. So why worship money?

4) You can't do everything with money
So can't I, nor can you do everything with me.

5) Money can't talk
I can. I win.

Argh

I have chicken bloody pox! Aggggggghhhhh

____________________________________________________________________

On an unrelated note, I shall be discussing another issue that might not be an issue today.

Is it just me, or are earphones/handsfree/earsets/whateveryouliketocallit the perfect convenient item for avoiding conversations?

I have friends who are perpetually on the earphone. Its a big turnoff.

When they are walking to class. When they are eating. When they are talking to you. I wonder do they wear it when they bath?

Are those earphones a replacement for your teddy bear then?

First off, you wonder whether he/she hears you or pays any attention to you at all. It kind of tempts you to say all sorts of bad things about him/her, but then you worry that he/she might be able to hear it? It creates an internal conflict I say.

Second thing is, if someone is wearing an earphone, it makes you think twice about talking to them. Because they might hear you and choose to ignore you.

It annoys me when walking along with friends that are perpetually on the ear phone. Come on, this world is more than your music as you slog along your boring life of routine and repetitions.

Seriously

People are weeeeirdddd. Seriously.

I made a new friend recently. A guy friend, not a gay friend. He's in the health sciences, but a victim of circumstances he has to take physics.

When he learned that I am in engineering, he began reciting formulae for me to confirm its correctness. And insisted I teach him physics.

And today morning 7.30am. 7.30 AM. FUCKING 7.30AM he sent me an sms saying nothing but 'oh I just realized I have a physics test next week'.

wtfarghsasdkjaskd heriskedthedarklord'swrathanddisturbedthedarklord'sslumberjustforthesakeofsaying HEHASAFUCKING TEST

___________________________________________________________________

On the bright side, I found my haunt :D well literally the place I'll be haunting in my spare time anyway.

Now I am having a headache. I am intending to specialize in green/environmental engineering. But what if due to space limitations I am not admitted? ...Fuck. I need to think of alternatives.

Till then, just a brief update

Shrink shrank shrunk

This is a random post.

I just found out some of my clothes are not meant to be tumble-dried. Figures why some of them shrank hahahaha.

Underwear included.

Seems like underwears getting tight was not due to size increase after all HAHAHA
(omg can't believe i typed that)

Crusade?

Professor Leslie's tentative plan to kill the stupid people in the world.

This is the crusade against stupidity.
_______________________________________________________________

Step 1

Start a random group in facebook. Any name will do. For example, 'Kill people who brush their teeth while taking a shower', 'Kill people over the age of 8 and still can't fucking use a toilet properly' or 'Kill people who do stupid quizzes in facebook'.

Step 2

Start a chainmail in MSN and facebook. Tell everyone to join and forward to everyone in their contacts. If they do not, they will die by midnight. If they do, they will be blessed with whatever they want.

Insert random story about random boy's name who didn't believe and died horribly. Insert extra random story about random girl who died horribly for extra firepower to convince people.

Step 3

As admin of the group, begin ordering people around. Spread rumours that a group of assasins work for you, and you have ties with the underworld and the dark lord himself. If they do not obey, you will employ hackers to find out where they live via their facebook account and insert some technical computer jargons to confuse them and make yourself sound convincing.

Now begin telling them to commit suicide subtly, one by one. Make sure it cannot be blamed on you. Publicize each death beyond sensational level. Manipulate data to make your chain mail extremely credible now. You should get a steady source of new members while you steadily kill off old ones.

Step 4

When you find that the number of members joining has trickled to zero, you have probably killed off all the stupid people. Next, aim at application code writers. Use above mentioned steps 1-3, using all the deaths of the stupid people as leverage.

___________________________________________________________________

This is bullshit. But can someone try this? And tell me whether it will work ahaha

Woohoo

You know what? Before Zhi Wei's birthday I thought of buying an ukulele since I couldn't afford a guitar. I didn't. My friend advised against it. I thought it was useless compared to a real guitar. And it costs itself to send it to Malaysia.

Now that piece of fuck puts on facebook saying he wants an ukulele. USELESS!

Oh yea, I haven't been updating for ages.

Why now?

Because of the re-emergence of fucking facebook apps that absolutely piss me off. Not to mention the advent of chain sms-es and 'MSN is closing down you fags forward this mail and the blue dude will turn blue and suck ..' never mind..

Seriously, people can be uber stupid. STUPIDDDD!

If all the facebook application does is randomly insert your friends into random adjectives, THEN DON'T USE IT! (I am pissed I got labelled UGLY)

What is the point of the whole thing if when people complain, you shrug and say the bot did it? FUCK YOU

And chainmails/smses piss me off too. You will die tonight if you don't forward this. You will get laid if you send this too 1000 people. I swear if that were true, I would have died 213896129846231894 times by now, and there will be no desperate guys in this world.

Pardon the angst. Just need to release some tension. No, zhi wei, enough with jacking off. Its masturbate I say. (Why do we use the words when we didn't even discuss about this?)

P/S : I have an idea. I'll fight fire with fire. Tell everyone to stop chainmails or they'll die. Hmm. STUPIDDDDDDDDDD

Animes and Hollywood

Dear bloggie,

I am sorry to have neglected you for so long. I was always lazy to type up new stuff to entertain my readers (which i suspect there's only one. Aimee that's you, don't look behind). As such, in times of impending exam, I turn my attention to you as a perfect excuse for procrastinating my revision.

____________________________________________________________________

The topic Professor Leslie shall talk about today shall be about animes and Hollywood.

Seriously.

What the fuck are the Hollywood people thinking?

First they made this :















My hero............................................................................................ the zero

Which I did not bother to watch. I'd be encouraging them to make more if I did. Its like... its like some kid pooped in his pants right in front of you and you giving him money and saying 'well done'. To top it off, the pants he is wearing is your favorite brand.

And oh ever noticed that adding the word 'Evolution' makes everything sound right? Yeah God knows whatever it means by 'Dragon Ball Evolution', since Dragon Balls technically are orbs to summon the dragon god, it is not a living thing, it cannot evolve. Dragon Ball evolution? Yeah, Goku evolved from a muscle perfect super saiyan hero to a white punk. That's degeneration by the way.

Don't get me wrong. Not all anime to live action movies suck. At least I don't really think so despite the 'prettiness' of anime people (drawn people look abnormal). Observe Death Note by Japanese producers. Manga and live action versions of L.















The resemblance is not bad, in my opinion. You have to be slightly racist here haha. Serious. At least Goku is not some random punk who 'you must save the world! and grab that chick while you're at it'

And the next thing. Cowboy Bebop. Nope I did not watch the anime, nor the anime movie. But guess what? Keanu Reeves is going to act in the live action version.















Hmm................................. I seriously don't know what to say. From Matrix, Hell, Streets, now anime? Mr Anderson this better be good. Because there's a high probability it sucks.

And guess what? There's an english version of the famous chinese gangster-police story 'Internal Affairs'. I conveniently forgot the title. I didn't bother to find out about it. This is unrelated though.

Well the final straw is this. This is an unconfirmed rumour circulating around the net. They say that Hollywood's making a live action movie of Death Note too! Maybe anime's the new cash cow for Hollywood. And...















They say Light Yagami (left) will probably be played by Zac Efron. High School Musical anyone? From dancer to man-suffering-from-delusions-he-is-god-but-he-can-kill. I'll admit that even the Japanese version they couldn't find someone who looks like Light. (Light's such a cool name isn't it) But one thing I hate to admit, Zac there does look slightly like Light (maybe its the hair).

Oh well its unconfirmed rumour though. But I do not like the idea of Hollywood putting its grubby hands into the anime grounds. I mean, well drawn people certainly look abnormal (note : unusually big boobs, big eyes, eyes with different colours I forgot what this is called, small people bearing SHIT HUGE weapons etc)

Why? Because it shatters the illusions one have of the anime. Two it makes me feel like an idiot IF i watch it. Three because its just so wrong.

I seriously wonder why though. Maybe because its the large industry Japan has in the manga/anime section. I mean, its gotten so that people worldwide are reading comics from there. I wonder do white kids ever imagine going to Japan someday and find out people are seriously drawn there (haha).

One thing is evident though. Hollywood sure is putting its grubby hand in anime grounds.

PS : I hate picture posts. Annoys the hell out of me to upload photos

Life

Today Professor Leslie will make the strange connection between life and survival.

The way I see it, life is all about survival.

You have to survive your childhood by not dying in some freak accident. And enjoy as much of this phase as you can.

After your childhood, you begin education phase. That's where they brainwash you into mindless zombies and tell you you are a free individual cause you are educated. You gotta survive this. Its a whole load of crap actually, and at times life in this phase is really really hard.

Then you begin work. Work for society to earn your keep in society. Contribute your part for society to be parasites of Earth. And working phase absolutely sucks so bad your shit actually smells great at times (ok disgusting comparison sorry). Working politics, politicians, wages, finances, sex, booze, sin, religion and all suddenly swirls around in a cauldron that makes a concoction smellier than your shit (ok i used it again. Real sorry). You gotta survive this somehow.

Somewhere in the middle of work phase, you have kids. You fulfill your biological role, that is to reproduce (which explains why orgasms feel so great. To encourage you to breed). Your kids turn out to be total pain in the ass. You got to survive this.

And then, you retire. You still got to battle those incoming diseases as a result of those many phases of life. You have got to survive this, though it doesn't matter if you don't.

In the end, you survived everything, you can now go and die.

Sorry it was morbid, was not meant to be. Just a ... ok maybe slightly morbid way of looking at life in the 21st century.

(And now they are telling me 2012 Feb 1 is Armageddon. WTF? The year I graduate on my birthday.)

God

Ok, if there's a God, he's on my case.

First, I got my wish from god. Read previous post. I shall not say what it is.

Then suddenly trademe.co.nz people came selling stuff that i want, all for 1$ or 2$, without competition. I bought almost 10 books off for less than 50NZD. Ok, they're mostly second hand (with a couple of brand new ones) , but what a grab!

My mistake was never acknowledging that this probable god gave it to me.

So he or she punished me.

AAAhh I made a 60 dollar mistake!! And a stupid one at that! I mistook a bed cover sheet for a DUVET cover sheet!

So yeah, I acknowledge your probable existence, oh probably god! Now grant me more good stuff.

PS : I suspect this god is Aimee, for she hath typeth to me that I have to close my eyes, speak her name out loud 3 times and the sky will open above me and she'll grace me with her presence. She said she has no money though =/

PPS : I decided Aimee is not God. She is GAWD

What a day

Today I found out one thing.

If there is a God, he's a real cheapskate.

My day started horrible.

First I had a massive headache the moment I woke up I had to cancel the gym appointment with my friends to sleep it off.

Then I overslept wayyyy into lunchtime. If Kelvin hadn't messaged me, I would have missed lunch. (bugger phone didn't ring my alarm!)

After lunch, I tidied up my room and cleaned my clothes.

Then I sat down and revised my Mechanics.

The easiest question eluded me. I couldn't solve it. God knows why, but my brain is stuck. I could not even understand what the heck the lecturer was writing in the solutions. So yeah, I failed at copying answers there.

To add salt to the wound, I realized my room keys are missing. They cost 15NZD to get a replacement.

Feeling extremely pissed, I chucked the text books away and started playing poker on facebook. Lost my trousers.

I then turned to computer games, hoping to massacre the computer players.

I got kicked in the ass and had a cucumber shoved inside (ok disgusting analogy. Sorry)

Then all the items I bid on trademe.co.nz were outbid (they were fantastic bargains)

Which, is a string of extremely bad news. To top it off, I could not find my maths assignment that I did partly before.

Which means, I lost my keys when I tidied my room, and I threw away my maths assignment together with scrap paper.

WTF

So I yelled out in MSN at god.

"Dear god, the only thing that can compensate my shitty day is by giving me 1000nzd to spend"

And what happened?

God gave me back my maths assignment AFTER i printed a new one and finished it.

God gave me back my keys, which he hid among my instant noodle stash.

AND he let me kick the computer players' ass and shove brinjals up three times over.

I say, you cheapskate you!

Above all is true except my feelings for God though, everyone knows I am agnostic hahaha xD

Quirks at work

Was at the gym, in the cardio section.

Went over to the bicycles-that-won't-move thingys.

Saw an empty one.

Went towards the empty one.

Guy cycling the bicycles-that-won't-move BESIDE the empty one saw me.

Made eye contact somehow.

And I asked (while pointing at the empty one).

"Are you using this?"

_________________________________________________________________

In tutorial session, teamed up with some Indonesian and China Chinese.

And the Indonesian said to me.

"You are Malaysian right?"
"How did you know?"



....



"Because your accent is super strong".
*LOL WTF I HAVE A STRONG ACCENT

I am alive!

Yes, I am alive and very much enjoying life right now.

Weather's cool.
Classes are few.
Food's not bad.
Babes galore.
Beautiful sceneries.

What's there to hate?

Malaysian students here who don't know how to use the toilet.

In Auckland.

How sad is that?

____________________________________________________________________

Seriously, our politicians have to be the only ones in the world worshiping a tree as tree of democracy. And the other side is equally stupid to try and come up with ploys to destroy or undermine that tree.

THAT TREE IS FUCKING INNOCENT! NOW GO DRAW UP A PLAN OR PROJECT THAT BENEFITS THE PEOPLE YOU MORONS!

____________________________________________________________________

NZ is, well, pretty much an ecofriendly place. Greenery everywhere, rare rubbish sightings on the roads, no politicking in the newspapers (the newspapers are fuck boring. Everyday there's a feature about a cat. A handsome cat. A heroic cat. A lazy cat. Wtf?) I don't bother reading the newspaper here btw, Malaysian newspapers amuse me more.

Well, NZ is pretty much the place to retire at. No joke. Its so peaceful here, anyone can just come here and waste life away with the sheeps, and cows, AND CATS. Funny how there doesn't seem to be any strays, and dog sightings are far more common than cats.

Anyway, will update with more freak theories when I have the time (and idea).

But here's a rant about facebook to satisfy you guys for now, if you even come to my blog anymore.

As I mentioned in my previous post, people get stupider as we multiply (which john made some huge calculation errors and claimed he solved the problem)

Nono, politicians or Malaysian students abroad aside, its facebook. Malaysians on facebook. Melayu Cina India.

WILL YOU STOP FUCKING DO THOSE STUPID QUIZZES? GEEZ!

The answers given are so general, it is correct for everyone. Are you a true Johorean? Yes you are. Are you an anak Kedah? Yes you are. You are a hot lover (obviously you are not, I mean look at yourself..). You are a good kisser (ever kissed?). You are great in bed (bet you're a virgin). You are sentimental (yeah, sentimeter + obviously mental). If you are a politician, you will be the Prime Minister (a big IF. How many Prime Ministers can we IF HAVE anyway).

For fuck's sake, those quizzes
1) Waste time
2) Annoy the hell out of me
3) Insults intelligence
4) Waste energy and memory
5) and many more...

Now if I can just find out how to turn off those quizzes, facebook conveniently hid that teeny weeny little button that can shut your quizzes out of my laptop screen...

Excuse the anger and the angst in this post. I just spent 3 whole days on assignments. It severely damaged my internal organs, killed 80% of my brain cells (which explains why I hate Aimee for introducing me Zahada at this untimely moment. It killed the other 20%) and made me lose weight. So yeah, if you have weight problems, come do my assignment.

Update!

Professor Leslie has a new theory. Its about human intelligence.

First, let me illustrate what intelligence is by giving you incomprehensible and incorrigible examples, analogies and bullshit.

Imagine a fixed value 'x' (oh its mathematics now), assigned to intelligence. Note that 'x' is a constant.

Now, let us say, the more intelligence we have, the more functions we are able to do.

Which explains how the first humans managed to survive. There's only one man and woman. And they managed to survive by finding food and reproduce (imagine that! One man hunter vs. a dinosaur)

This is because the man had 'x' divided by 2 units of intelligence. Meaning he can do half the things ever possible for human, because he's smart enough. So he's smart, he can kill a T-rex by himself without brawn (but lets just add the brawn to make it more realistic). So the first man is a muscular and smart man who can kill a T-rex with his bare hands (what part of intelligence comes in anyway.. but this is proven by absolutely nothing).

Fast forward a lot. Today we have 7 billion people in the world.

Which means...

You have 'x' divided by 7 billion units of intelligence. Note that 'x' is not infinity.

Simply said, you are getting stupider as we multiply.

Which explains why people go into 'specialization', meaning you 'can only perform one task which somehow passes the bottom line of bullshit retarded job done at a single time'.

So if we extrapolate the non-existent graph, soon humans will have .. lets say an infinitesimal value of intelligence unit per person.

No more multitasking. Too difficult. Specialization brought to a new level.

One group of humans to work. One group of humans to do nothing. One group of humans to screw everyone up and reproduce. One group of retarded humans can only complain.

So which means the more people we have, the stupider we are.

I don't know about you, but I am opting for the group to reproduce.

Damn I feel stupider by the minute already, people stop fucking around!!

____________________________________________________________________

After a long long hiatus because I was too busy doing nothing, I shall update about my life.

In less than 12 hours I am flying to Auckland.

Yes unfortunately I am coming back. After 4 years. Till then, I shall be (probably) updating this blog (maybe) frequently with (perhaps) the most enthusiasm.

Oh by the way, I registered a skype id to make free calls to my family and friends (why does Digi put friends first anyway)

Its prof_leslie.

Yes I know its a nice id. Thank you.

Body Parts

Today Professor Leslie shall discuss about body parts. Consider this sexual education for the strangely naive and sex-ignorant people even at the age of 18 (yes, they do exist)

Professor thinks that since evolution is constantly occurring, then the following arguments should theoretically be possible eventhough unlikely (which means it won't happen)

The specific topic under body parts would be the protruding parts of our body (or some call it extremities if Professor is not mistaken).

For those of you who are thinking only of penis, go wash your brains.

Let's explore some of the vocabularies currently existing.

Protruding part number 1 : From head
We call it a horn. Somehow humans don't have horns, but we observe it in creatures like goats and such. We humans have nothing better to do, so we photostat this body part and copy it onto otherwise normal creatures to create abnormal creatures. Satan, Unicorns and John comes to mind. Nothing of interest here, just to highlight this part.

Protruding part number 2 : From teeth
We call it either a sabertooth, a fang or less accurately a tusk (screw technicalities, it is from the teeth if I say it is). Somehow humans don't have this also, or it is not obvious or does not function. Again, we copy and paste this feature onto other otherwise normal creatures to create strange monstrosities. Dracula and Zhi Wei comes to mind. Nothing of interest here, just to highlight this part.

Protruding part number 3 : From hands
We call them fingers. If you have not heard of them, take a look at your hand. Those wormlike things you use to grab things are your fingers. You should have ten of them, normally. Nothing of interest here, just to highlight this part.

Protruding part number 4 : From legs
We call them toes. You should have ten too. If you have not heard of them, look at your toes. If you can't see them, time to get some exercise. Nothing of interest here, just to highlight this part.

Protruding part number 5 : From your crotch (males only)
We call it a penis. Magical muscular wonder of males. Makes you wonder why God or evolution made this organ this way (Key and keyhole comes to mind). Funny if you think about it. Not funny if you kick it hard, or break it. Voted (in a nonexistent poll) as guys' most important part in the body, and its protruding out instead of protected by strong skeletal frame. If you are a guy and you think this part is dispensible, you are probably gay and seriously lack libido. Unless you are a hermaphrodite anyway.

Strangest part of a male body. Size is adjustable, though maximum size varies. Hardness adjustable, depending on environment. Displays attracting and attention to loving stroking. Very sensitive to heat, and obeys the Physical Law. Size becomes small when exposed to cold, and relaxes in a warm condition. Definitely should not be exposed to high temperature as permanent change is possible to occur. Serves multiple purposes like removing fluid waste and discharging reproduction cells.

*Funny how leisure activities are called rest and RECREATION

Protruding part number 6 : From fingers and toes
They are finger/toenails. Professor usually forgets/procrastinates to cut them. Not an essential part of the body, but can be useful in a few disgusting ways. Cleaning your teeth, digging your nose or ear comes to mind. Nothing of interest here, just to highlight this part.

Now, since we like to copy body parts and paste them on other creatures, lets have some fun and play some Spore on humans!

Imaginary protruding body parts on humans (all nouns)
1) From your ass
Professor Leslie deduces that should evolution take a naughty turn, what comes out from your ass should be cilia like little things. The reason we would ever need these would be to sweep away dust or dirt before we sit down. It should be called Jasons.

Example usage : Mr. A cleaned the chair with his Jasons before sitting down.

*Professor has just finished typing this part, and remembered there's such thing as a TAIL
** If shit comes to your mind, shit comes from asshole. Question answered.



2) From your knees
Professor Leslie can find no reason for any organ to protrude from the knees. But in all possibilities, parts coming out from knees should be sharp and hard. This is because in the midst of a fight/brawl, it will come in handy in giving a kick to the crotch (called something like boning of sorts). This part should be called a Christopher.

Example usage : Leslie used his christopher to severely damage Mr.B's testicles.

*Professor checked the dictionary, and 'boner' actually meant 'penis erection'. WTF?

3) From your neck
Professor Leslie can actually think of a reason to protrude a body part from your neck. To protect your windpipe (Though it seems unnecessary)! This offers protection from external forces (note :Star Wars) that will crush your neck with unseen powers. It should be like a rib cage as well. This part should be called an Aimee.

Example usage : Zhi Wei would have broken his neck if he didn't have his Aimee around his neck.

4) From your shoulderblades
They are called wings. Professor Leslie remembered this as he typed and is saying 'wtf' now.

5) From your chest
No, not boobs. Professor is thinking that people who do not like hugs might develop this body part. It should thus be hard and tough to deter people who give hugs. This part would be called a DVD (because I ran out of names)

Example usage : Since Alamak disliked hugs, he always kill people who hugs him with his DVD.


That is all from Professor today. If you feel bored, feel free to imagine other protrusions on your own.

Random random

Came across this forum the other day while surfing (yes I am that jobless). The topic in the thread was 'Homosexuals'. Basically they were discussing whether its right or wrong.

As usual, the religiously pious ones were saying its definitely a sin. Its wrong. Its unnatural.

Then came the brilliant reply.

"A car is also not natural. So car = sin?"

But anyway, Professor Leslie (resurrected at last) shall offer some opinions regarding homosexuality.

Animals do it too! And people of reknown like Alexander the Great and your idolized Spartans (imagine 300, many people wanna be like them) are said to be gay!

There is an interesting theory that got my attention. Homosexuality is a form of evolution too, in the face of a state of overpopulation. Basically what it means is..

People horny --> People have too much sex --> too many babies --> overpopulation --> people still horny, but too many people --> They have same gender sex! --> No babies! --> Horniness appeased but population under control --> problem solved

Professor Leslie feels that homosexuality is nothing wrong. It's fine if you are oriented that way (which I am not), as long as you do not disturb others who refuse you. Heck, its wrong even if a guy forces himself on a girl eh? So no issue there.

Due to the abscence of readers, Professor shall refrain from sexual jokes.

____________________________________________________________________

Top current embarassing moments (my life's full of them, wonder why)

Picture in your mind comical characters for the best humour effects

1) At a local tid-bits shop that offers free samples
Leslie : *walks in casually, sees SQUID! Dried squid! Drowns in revelry and daydream*
Shop attendant : *stare stare*
Leslie : *eyes shining, mouth drooling, pretends didn't see the sample given, grabs a big piece from the mound*
Attendant : "HELLO SIR! *points at sample, miserably cut down small pieces*
Leslie : -_-" *got caught*
Customers : *glare glare gossip*

2) At a local private hospital, about to remove my lower wisdom tooth
Aunt : Go brush your teeth! Wait dentist see dirty very embarassing!
Leslie : *nods, walks into the toilet with toothbrush in hand*
People : *stare stare gossip gossip*
Leslie : *stress -____-"
Leslie : *starts brushing teeth in toilet*
Leslie : *feels a sudden stress from behind*
Leslie : *peeks*
Toilet cleaner : *leaning against wall, staring at Leslie with 'wtf-is-this-guy-making-this-place-his-home-or-what-why-is-he-brushing-his-teeth-here-i-want-to-mop-the-floor-but-he-is-strange' look.
Leslie : *brush brush*
Toilet cleaner : *stare stare*
Leslie : *brush brush*
Toilet cleaner : *stare stare*
Leslie : *sweat*
Toilet cleaner : *stare stare*
Leslie : *creepy*
Toilet cleaner : *stare stare*
Leslie : *done*
Toilet cleaner : *sighs
Both : *walk out of toilet together, as if just finished watching an action movie

Update more when I feel like it.

Results out in 6 hours O_O

wee

In case this blog dies.. or gets deleted.. I publish this meaningless post to keep it alive.. for now..

now for something random.

JOHN WEARS PINK UNDERWEAR!! ( he does?)

Super Heroes

Professor Leslie has observed that recently there seems to be a mushrooming population of super heroes in our media, comics and such. ( Tomatoman, potatoman and cicakman comes into mind )

Thus, Professor Leslie has grouped together the types of heroes, and the criterias that you might have that made you a hero, and shall discuss it here and now.

Rule #1 :
- You must have strong arms. Everyday heroes seems to get themselves in positions where they will fall off the ledge, whether intentionally, unintentionally, pushed by enemy, pushed by friends, tripped over a rock or just plain blind. Therefore, you need strong arms to grab the ledge, hang around for 10 minutes yelling for help, then be able to pull yourself up without a single scratch. If you have it, you are Rapunzel's prince.

Rule #2 :
- You must be invincible. A hero cannot get killed, else you're no hero. You can get stabbed, shot, blasted with uranium shells, hacked with an axe together with arrows in your guts and then your head lopped off, or placed in a freezer and then smashed with a 1000 tonnes hammer and you're still alive. If you cannot be killed, you are god.

Rule #3 :
You must be a morally blind person, and must be stuck to only one belief. Who ever heard of a superhero going 'oh the bad guy's innocent after all, maybe i should spare him'? Nope, all superheroes go 'peace will only come after i assrape that bastard villian'. No superhero considers 'oh the villian's desperate for food, that's why he robs. I should help him.' If you have this, you are a normal human, most probably an evangelist.

Rule #4 :
You must have suffered some past tragedy. Your pet dog died, your village kena ransacked, you have been tortured by a master of some craft, you have been bitten by an ant, or you simply ate the wrong ice cream after dinner. All these somehow turns you into a hero. If you have this, you are a strange mutant.

Rule #5 :
There almost is always some device or weapon that will help you kill your enemy. All the enemies come out initially fucking strong, and the hero fucking weak he can't kill an ant. But after an irony that the enemies somehow can't kill you ( note : rule #2 ), the enemies get exhausted by the effort or they just suddenly grow weak for no apparent reason that you can kill him/her. If you know these kind enemies, you damn lucky.

Rule #6 :
You must be awfully handsome/beautiful. Enough said. If you are not, you must wear a mask to hide your face, and conveniently use it to hide your identity. If you do this, you must be really ugly.

Rule #7 :
You must be beyond godlike lucky. Picture this. A superhero using a sword is fighting an evil wizard who has powers like omg-he's-god. The evil wizard uses his power to summon monsters, dragons, and at the same time hurl fireballs, lightning strikes and nuclear bombs at the hero. The hero manages to kill the dragons, monsters and at the same time avoids everything the wizard throws at him. The wizard must be a strange one ( powers beyond godlike and he can't hit a single person ), or he can't shoot properly cause he's blind, or he's just a stupid fuck destroying everything but the hero, or the hero's plain lucky cause there happens to be a rock everywhere the wizard shoots. If you are this type of hero, you are plain lucky.

Rule #8 :
You need a costume. Go some halloween shop and get that awful looking gorilla suit and you can be gorillaman. Simple as that, if you are this type, you are probably a clown.

Rule #9 :
Introducing the ultimate hero. A hero with no purpose at all. Picture this. A hero is wandering around aimlessly with no purpose in life. He spots a girl getting groped by a REALLY FAT UGLY GUY ( picture your principal ) and he BEATS THE SHIT FAT OUT OF THE REALLY FAT UGLY GUY! And he gets called a hero. Then he resumes wandering around aimlessly, staring into space. If you are this type of hero, you are a loony.

Rule #10 :
The hero of heroes. You kill stupid teachers and government servants who don't give a fuck and ruin your day somehow everyday. You are a hero of heroes.

So in conclusion, are you a hero? If you are, check what type you are, and I'll mail you a 'You suck! Haha' card to you :P

I still do not have a title for this

Due to my amazing laziness and my amazing ability of procrastinating added with my amazing ability of finding excuses not to blog, I can conclude that I am an amazing person.

But anyhow, an update!

Today I shall discuss something weird to me. Perhaps you guys all know about this, but I seriously didn't know until recently.

The story goes like this....

I was in a certain class with a certain number of people in a certain place. And in my dictionary classes = boring, therefore we can conclude that I am handsome and amazing.

Back to the topic.

I was feeling bored ( who wouldn't in a class? ), so I was counting the tiles.. how many spins the ceiling fan turns in one second.. then my eyes got fixed on this girl. Now now, she's not attractive. Serious, -_-"

I don't know why my eyes refused to leave her. Something just makes me focus on her face. Then.....

I realized........

WAH LAU EH!! SHE HAS A MOUSTACHE??????????????????? (took me a while to remember how to spell that)

Even though it was slight, but it was a noticeable line of black HAIR. Something like what I have if i didn't shave for a week.

I always thought the fairer sex were the.. erm... lets say they only have hair on their head, legs and erm you know.. hehe..

But a moustache O_o

Now I can't stop piecing moustache on people's face.

Aimee looks disgusting. Serious. Make sure you shave often.

I don't know if this applies to everyone, I never bothered to research on whether girls are hairy creatures or not. But Aimee sure is disgusting with a moustache, I can assure you that.

I better escape. She's going to kill me for my imagination

(Just joking larrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

No updates!!

No updates this time round. I promise will update 3 weeks after this, after my mid year exam and during my holidaze :P