Old stuff

I recently rediscovered Avril Lavigne. The Canadian who was my high school imaginary sweetheart, with her powerful voice and some lovely songs now entertains me again. I am happy, despite exams breathing down my neck.

And Avril Lavigne >> Taylor Swift. My friends are avid fans of Taylor Swift. I think Lavigne wins hands down. At least I can relate to Avril Lavigne's songs (old songs anyway, like FREAK OUT) more, Taylor Swift is alwayssssss about some sweet love.

There's something I don't quite understand about exams. I don't think exams are useful. I don't think exams are a fair assessment of what I have learned. After all, learning which equation to put to which problem doesn't sound very helpful when you're asked to design a real bad ass reactor, for real.

And yet, I somehow find myself stressing out each and every time there's exams. I can't seem to shake off that grip exam has on me, I must do well in this exam because the grades are important. I know its not, I tell people its not, but my ego is there to tell me I must do better than the others, because there is that satisfaction I can answer exam questions better than them! HA!

No, ask me any time and I'll tell you exams are a waste of time. Somehow formal education has put itself in a bind, I guess. Without any assessment, who is to say whether the whole time spent on educating you has not been a waste of time? And yet the only form of assessment that we have is so unbelievably standardised that it fails its purpose. Ironic.

Chances are, I won't be an engineer a good portion of my life, despite spending 4 years on it (5% of my life, assuming 80 years lifespan). I roughly know which path I want to take, but whether I will do it is unknown to me. I do not like dabbling in the future, except when dealing with issues about safety and risk.

On another topic, I recently blew quite a bit of money buying books to read. This is acceptable money spending, except I hide in a game here and there to tell myself ITS ALRIGHT! ;)

Currently reading 'Life's X factor' by none other than my department head, Professor Neil Broom. I found Dawkins to be horribly boring except Greatest Show on Earth (before I read Prof. Broom. I haven't even completed the book yet). I finished Selfish Gene somehow, and Extended Phenotype helped me sleep many nights away. So reading Prof. Broom is a refreshing activity, since the book is dedicated to point out what he thinks is wrong with all these biologists out there who denounce the existence of God, behind the shield of 'natural selection'.

This topic interests me greatly. How on earth did evolution, natural selection etc. manage to drag the existence of God into question? I suppose largely its because mainstream religions like to portray a God that breathes down our neck and checking whether we've been naughty or not. And now we find that we are evolved(ing) creatures, and that our existence is not directly attributable to the Mighty One. And we argue.

Honestly? The fact that existence exists sounds to me as though there already is a manner of creation at hand. You cannot have something without creation, or its just a logical difficulty. In fact, I believe in a God, but not a mainstream God. I do not side with anthropocentric views, but there is certainly a cool guy out there who made things possible.

Back to revision. Update again when I feel bored enough. There's so much thoughts that I haven't been able to jot down, its such a waste, really.

Because in the future (oops) I will look back and maybe laugh at myself a bit (Yes I do it now too. I think I was an idiot. Probably still am) when I read back about myself. Its a great way to reassess how one has changed, particularly the self.