Degree

Celcius.

Sorry for that lame thing -_-.

Anyway, I wanna talk about degrees. I mean certificates here.

People are stupid. I don't know why, but its the truth. People are stupid. I love saying that, it makes me forget I am one of the people. People are stupid.

Why do people like to think that they can't do shit without a degree? People are stupid. I don't need a degree to shit now do I? What's with this degree craze? And the university just loves to award degrees don't they? Even hopelessly stupid people can get degrees. So to solve the problem of finding out who's the smarter one, they made first class honours degree, and second class and third class and fourth class. Brilliant.

Next thing you know, universities award degrees for knowing how to shit. And not everyone can get that degree, trust me. Many of you will get fourth class degree in that by the way. Aimee claims you people SQUAT on SIT toilet bowls. How on earth do you get first class honours degree in shitting if you do that?

I just love it when people start going on and on about success in life. Why is success in life all centred around money anyway? ...what the fuck?

True, money is a medium of exchange we invented. It carries a value that we can exchange it for whatever we want. Funny thing is, everywhere there's inflation every year. Which means the value of money is dropping, due to some weird economic mechanism that is evil at work here. The value of money is dropping? Simple solution. Make more money. More money means more value, and more value means you can still do the same shit.

Stop worshipping money. Worship me instead. At least I can verbally abuse you to make you feel better.

I'll proceed to convince you people why you should worship me instead of money.

1) Money makes you feel guilty.
This is a pseudotruth. People feel happy when they get money. But if they overspend, they feel guilty. If the money is dirty money, that is money earned through deception, people feel guilty (that is if they have conscience).

I can make you feel guilty. Just tell me all your sins and I'll verbally abuse you into depression. So I can actually do what money does here.

2) Money can buy stuff
This is a fact. Buying is exchanging a certain amount of money for stuff you don't need.

I don't need to do anything here. I have fulfilled the role of money thus.

3) Money is dangerous
You can get robbed anytime. You freak out calculating your money.

I am dangerous too. So why worship money?

4) You can't do everything with money
So can't I, nor can you do everything with me.

5) Money can't talk
I can. I win.