Professor Leslie in hibernation

Been in a state of perpetual hibernation the past few weeks. Heh..

Anyway, today Professor Leslie shall speak about an interesting phenomenon that I and Zhi Wei had noticed recently.

The surge in the number of help books for students to score fucking number of As. As usual, Professor Leslie thought of writing a book like these and cashing in on people's stupidity (yay)

"How to study like fuck, get fucking number of As, and still be fucking cool" doesn't sound like it will appeal to nerds, but whatever, it might work. =/

Tip number 1 :
Remember, getting the highest number of As is your life. It can determine everything in your life. So aim for the impossible, if you fail, never mind. It was impossible to begin with anyway.
Or you can slit your wrists and just die if you feel sad.

Tip number 2 :
Buy self help books on how to improve your grades and still get tons of boyfriends/girlfriends.

Tip number 3 :
A very useful theraphy would be to run around naked (again!) and carrying many books of knowledge with you. If the police comes and arrest you you can deter them by starting to tell them about general knowledge which they are too stupid to comprehend, or you might wanna just throw the books at them. Or just try and pass off as a scientist who discovered something in his/her bath and keep yelling 'EUREKA! Discovery of the century!'.

Tip number 4 :
Don't be shy to talk to people. Hey, people don't like you cause you study too much and you suck ( which is probably true anyway ). Appeal to their better side. Make them see the positive in you. Show them that in the world of people who study too much and people who suck, you are the best. They might like you, who knows.

Tip number 5 :
People say you read too many books. Burn your books in front of them. You got them stored in your computer anyway.

Tip number 6 :
Have great friends around you. Eventhough you don't have any friends, just have great friends around you. They help you with mental stability.

Tip number 7 :
You know how the self help books like to assure you that nobody is stupid? They're lying. You were dumb enough to believe them and bought their book. So don't buy self help books, and get a DIY toolkit to help you study. Because it allows you to screw around yourself.

Tip number 8 :
The simplest words you can put in a help book. 'Believe in God'. And nobody actually thought they can say those words to themselves.

Tip number 9 :
If you fail to achieve your goal, never mind, its not the end of the world. Go sell char kuay teow.

9 super offensive tips that offer no help at all to improve your grade. This might be a bestseller yet xD

Who knows, you might get to become a minister in the future.

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I forgot to mention two interesting habits of people in Shanghai.

1) Everybody smokes like fuck
2) Everybody drives so dangerously a boa constrictor chokes and dies of its own poison just by looking