Health

Today Professor Leslie shall discuss about health.

As we all know, health plays a vital role in a penguin's life. And well, maybe a human's too. But which human cares anyway, as long as his/her sex health is healthy enough, everything else can go to hell.

Alright, back to an interesting topic. Professor Leslie shall elaborate on mental health. To be more specific, its not health related actually, but an interesting behaviour that will lead to a health problem.


Observe ( yes more penguins ). I call it the Football syndrome.

After much observation, namely two subjects I made observations on ( no not lab mice, nor penguins, they are Christopher and Zhi Wei , I conclude that fans of football all suffer from this syndrome.

You see, when they are playing the football game 'FIFA whateveryear', they get some kind of hormonal arousal that makes them high. And when they score against an opposing team, that's their hand signal. Both hands up. With a cheeky face that you want to slap the bloody shit out of him.

Of course, in what way is this related to health? Honestly I am not sure either. My hypothesis is that, when they do this hand signal, they get a sudden surge of blood to the brain. The hormones produced ( I said before, they get hormone arousal when they play FIFA ) make the blood hormone rich, and this in turn makes them high.

The good thing about this is that, it releases stress and probably make them a healthier individual as they are generally happier. That's good.

The bad side is that, the extra surge of blood to the brain might make them smarter. That's one. The other downside is that they might suffer blood deprivation to the lower parts of the body, particularly the symmetrical line waist down. This could cause the dreaded 'flacid tentacle' that men fear most, especially old lecherous men.

And the conclusion? Congratulations you just spent 12398112642 seconds of your life reading something totally unfounded and stupid. I bet that makes you healthier!

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On to another observation about health of mine. This is not exactly unfounded. But it is unproven... so far.

I have decided that people who think too much tend to have white hair or are balding.

For an interesting example, I have chosen Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton. Of course, your physics teacher probably applies under this law too. Unless he's a fresh graduate. Visit him in 10 years time.

The picture you see is the world famous scientist Albert Einstein. He was the one who is credited the creation of the nuclear bomb. Now, we all know that nuclear scientists really think a lot. That is a pure assumption.

Sir Isaac Newton and his lustrous locks of WHITE hair. If you try to tell me that Sir Isaac Newton actually has blonde or whatever colour, I will act like an asshole and tell you that he was wearing a wig because you would be proving that I am wrong. Professor Leslie never wrong, therefore I am always right. In that way you are wrong when you prove that I am wrong.

Enough babbling. Sir Isaac Newton realized the existence of gravity when an apple hit his head. I can conclude from here that he thinks too much, therefore leading to the discovery of the gravity factor in Force.

Normally, any normal individual struck by an apple on the head would probably go
"Knn CCB! Blardy farking tree want play is it? *kicks tree* Lim Peh eat all your fruit and shave you bald then you know!!! Niahma eh.."

But Sir Isaac Newton went 'Hey, why didn't the apply drop upwards?'. Hence, his white hair.

Of course, if you try and tell me balding old men don't think too much, you are wrong.

Balding old men do think too much. ( Exclude scientists and professionals in this category, they have too much to think about already ). Balding old men you normally come across in the coffeeshop thinks too much about sex. Yes you heard me. Thinking too much about sex can cause you to be bald/have white hair.

See see? I am right eh, you just realized.

So for your hair health, don't think at all! I promise you Rapunzel will be jealous of your hair.

Note : The above post is meant for entertainment as usual. Huge fans of any of the characters mentioned above, please do take it as a joke ;)

I do appreciate their contribution. Now lets go shoot someone and blow everything up. Thanks Albert! ( Ok that was a very sick and bad joke -__-" )