Malaysia Boleh

This will be the last post until next Wednesday ( not that I have been very hardworking anyway. My productivity has reached total zero. )

This is because I will be in KL with Zhi Wei meeting up with a couple of BRATs friends. If you want to meet us, feel free to call us. We're still too free despite the current plans xD

I won't post my number here. I don't want any stalkers on my back. So I'll post Zhi Wei's number here, contact him if you want to contact me or him.

Zhi Wei's number is : 012-3456789. Damn expensive number wei, better call and make it worth his while.

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On to today's post. Today I am featuring Malaysian Drivers. No kidding. In Bolehland, the drivers are all extremely skilled people. To make my point, I even spent the whole night drawing shit on paint but fortunately still quite comprehensible.

For starters, Malaysian drivers are the most skilled drivers in the world. This is a common thing to happen, as I have observed for quite a while.

If you do not understand this.. it means that two lanes can become four! You think everyone can do it meh?? Only Malaysians can do it you know!!

This one happened to me. Imagine you driving along the road, and suddenly one whole row of
cars parked are coming out TOGETHER and drive you off to another lane.

This is another common thing. You're approaching the traffic light and you're first. The traffic light is turning red, so naturally you would slow down. Then comes along some hot shot and overtake you JUST BEFORE THE LINE.

I say, never underestimate Malaysian drivers. Driving on a straight road with smooth traffic, one or two of us can get into the drain. God knows how, but they always manage. You ever seen this in other places? No right!???

This is a Malaysian Classic. Two super duper wide roads. One heading south, one heading north. Both one way. This can even happen in Highways. Somebody always manages to get on the wrong side of the traffic. Sometimes I wonder how they get out. It is not uncommon. I repeat. It is not uncommon.


Generally, Malaysian drivers can be categorized into two categories. One kind, is the one who cheong traffic lights, and basically cheong everything else. 2 seconds to go, and they are 1km away from the light, you bet they sure cheong.

Another kind are the slow and steady kind. Yeah, slow. Very slow. So slow in fact, they take the 15 seconds out of the normal 40 seconds in a green light just to pass the line. Ok maybe I was exaggerrating, but I have encountered these kind personally. Me and my pal Christopher. Many occasions. We were not stepping on the gas pedal, and we're overtaking them. Wtf.
Even the accidents here are special. Motorbikes tend to crash during rainy days. This special accident I saw was laughable if it wasn't so tragic. The motorbike crashed and lay horizontally in the middle of two lanes. And the road was quite narrow xD Blocked the entire road.

Malaysia is infamous for its Mamak. Some of the mamak are so good you would die if you don't put on weight there. But some are notorious mamak xD You have to becareful by what they mean by 'tambah lauk'.

To people who don't understand this post, you have to be
1 ) One who is seriously underaged and has no experience whatsoever on the road, and are freaking lazy to pay any attention when your parents are busy chauffering you around.

2 ) One who seldom drives

3 ) Seriously stupid

:D This is among the few natural phenomenon on the road in Malaysia. There are lots of others!

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This is a short post about Grandma Chronicles.

My grandmother's sense of humour still exists despite her age. There was this night, she woke up at 10pm. She slept at 7.30pm by the way.

So she called me. *in Hokkien*

"I want eat peanuts."

I was like.. 'where got peanuts.'

But being the nice guy I was, I said 'Ah ma don't worry, I go and buy now'.

At 10pm, all the shops were closed. So I pusing pusing around town until I finally found a shop. And bought a packet of peanuts.

When I reached home, she was there waiting. When I passed it to her..

"I don't feel like eating already."

WTF

Another occasion was I told her I was going NS.

"Ah Ma, I am going to become a soldier."
"OKAY GOOD! You go there become a commander come back with good name."
"Orh.."

Then the maid came along..
"Ah Ma I also want go!"
"OKAY GOOD! You go there also become good commander then don't come back."

WTF

My grandmother was saying about how she feels insecure because she has no money on her.

"You know one bowl of rice how expensive or not?"

Then she continued..

"Work all your life to buy a bowl of rice every meal. Then when you are old go find one river jump in BOOM! and your life ends."

I was like.. '_'

She actually made sense.

Alright, that's all. Now I am going to have an early rest. Tomorrow going KL woohoo!