Family auspiscious affair

My bro's getting married!

There's a buffet at home tonight, dinner in restaurant tomorrow and we're going to Singapore for another dinner next weekend.

And yes, he is marrying that Singaporean girl.

:)

Though it probably sounds to me as if my family is marrying my brother off to Singapore now.

Well, just a short update. Hope my bro is happy with his choice :)

Will try to take photos. I will be in very very formal attire for the very second time in my life.

Toilets

Don't we all love toilets? They rock!

Firstly, because as my principal puts it.. the toilet is full of djinns. Anyone who frequents it is in cahooooots with them and therefore are evil. Then he starts going on about crabs and biscuits. Haha, I can imagine the *wtf* look on your face. My principal only knows 3 'peribahasa's. 'Bagai ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan tegak', 'macam biskut lemau' and one more is... crap I can't remember.

My School's toilet is seriously the most screwed up place. All talks about an AJK R & R has been flushed down the toilet. They are just not functioning. WHO THE HELL WANTS TO MAINTAIN A TOILET THAT BREAKS DOWN EVERY OTHER DAY???? Partly, its also because the students don't fuck enough, that's why they are full of shit. Then they break the toilet.

So.. initially, saw a dramatic improvement. Doors have lock ( AT LAST! But doesn't last ), can flush, pipes functioning, sinks unclogged and slippers provided.

Now, door locks can lock but door still opens anyway, pipes flow non stop, sinks clogged, and half the slippers are missing ( and its all the left side one. So we started with 5 pairs each toilet, now we have 5 of the right side ).

And this is the best part.

On blok H, there is this toilet. Stinks like hell like others. Pipes cannot off. Sinks clogged. Everytime banjir.

But here's the funny part. There are two toilet cubicles side by side.

One cannot flush.

The other cannot stop flushing.

WELL DONE MR PRINCIPAL! At least its different from before now xD

Trials suck

Trials suck.

My trials suck anyway =/

Here are the results!

Malay Language - 77 ( A2)
English Language - 91 ( A1)
Mathemathics - 92 ( A1 )
Additional Mathemathics - 65 ( Omg )
Moral Education - 73 ( A2 )
History - 89 ( A1 )
E.S.T - 94 ( A1)
Physics - 72 ( A2)
Chemistry - 85 ( A1 )
Biology - 78 ( A2 )

Total results : 5 A1 4 A2 1 B3. The B3 pretty much screwed up my straight As. ADD MATHS FROM NOW ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Yesh, I am partial perfectionist.

Anyway, here's the screwed up part. Out of 32 in my class, I think 15 got straight As. Ah shit. And Zhi Wei's full of shit. I got number 13 though. Position in class is 13 out of 32. 13. 13. 13.

13.

13....

13...........

What a nice number. I could go on all day. Mid year also 13th or 14th, I think is 13th. 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13..

My average saved me though =/ 82.00000000. For ten subjects.

I suck WOOHOOOO!! Time to get high xD

Utter randomness

This is my current wallpaper, made by one of my most favourite-est flash artist on Newgrounds.com. That girl's Lilium, and I love that flash for the dark theme it represents. Hey, the wallpaper fits my flat screen monitor. It looks nice and dark. Oh and the artist is Emi Greneby. He rocks!

Currently, I am into the third book of the Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix. Its good, and deserves a 7½ out of 10 so far. The story is great, more dark stuff. :) Read lots of books, and felt this is slightly different from others.

In case you are wondering, I Googled my own name some time ago. And... ta-daaahh! Leslie's Potato Chips. This is indeed a great conspiracy. Do you not feel the world vibrating with the power emitted by the powerful lord of senselessness? Seriously, this rocks so much! You can get many funny stuff when you google your own name, the more common your name the better. Just don't go with some name like 'Tap Some Bong" or something..

And I just watched 'Click' on my computer. 41 hours of downloading via torrent, partly because I was downloading 3 movies at once. The other two were Garfield I and II, which kinda sucked. Jennifer Love Hewitt didn't appear that often. Anyway, back to 'Click'. All who watched Click has to see its message. ITS SO FREAKING CLEAR! If you don't get the entire message of the movie you can go jump off a cliff or something. And Kate Beckinsale was hot as usual. Why can't we ever meet such people? And I dare bet with you Adam Sandler is swearing at himself after shooting the movie. Whoever is such a dipshit to fast forward having sex with her? o_O
Out of 10, Kate gets 9 from me. Jennifer Aniston gets 8½. Jennifer Love Hewitt gets an 8! I don't give such high marks for women you know!! And our local Amber Chia gets 8½ too.

And.. hmm... Potatoes and Penguins still rule! The day of Reckoning draws closer as more and more people consume Potatoes everyday. Each day passing, more people are professing loyalty and swearing fealty to the mighty penguins. Soon, Earth shall be dominated under one strong force that rules with sheer pointlessness!

Right, on to another regular.. well, 'regular' session with Leslie on Philosophy. My friend Heng Leng bought a book entitled 'Follow your heart' by some author which costed him RM43. Hey, these kind of books, I don't really like. Chicken soup for the whoever, and such and such that tells you moral stuff written nicely by them well learned and experienced writers.

So I began thinking. First, I had questions. At the end, still no answers.

To fully understand and comprehend such books, I suppose such procedures matter.

1 ) Define the meaning of Life to yourself. I suppose then only can you fully comprehend and adapt the different situations presented to you in these books.

2 ) Define the meaning of Existence. Oh sure, we are here to reproduce. But why the heck are we reproducing? I actually thought orgasms felt good because our body feels we have done our duty in reproduction. But then..

3 ) Contemplate on how the Universe was created. Forget not I am mostly Agnostic, though not publicly. Can't risk getting burned on a stake or something. How the fuck did something exist out of nothing?

4 ) Do you live a rich life? A life as you wanted it to be, with your free will deciding the paths you take, or are you suppressed by society and pleasure? Are you one of them who harps on about love but is stupid like shit to realise it before its too late, or are you one who thinks your life is great because you have managed to please most people in your life so far? If you are either, you are a rather sad person to me.

5 ) Anybody who has read Sophie's World would probably know this question. Are we fictitious characters, existing only in the minds of an author? Similiarly, is reality all but a thought, a biochemical impulse? A virtual world that we comprehend as reality. Is it possible that the fiction books we read everyday, the stories they portray are real and happen in another dimension?

Simple questions. Questions easily asked. Fuck like shit also cannot answer.

Aye, Zhi Wei's full of shit. Would be pretty interesting if some of you guys actually bothers to comment on the questions and tell me your thoughts, which is unproven that actually exists independently yet.

And you guys wouldn't believe the word verification for this post. I won't even tell you what I see at first glance. You get the point. Though I have always wondered why the hell is that handicapped dude sign doing sitting there.

Until then, no funny stuff :P

Stupid things in life

In response to Zhi Wei's recent post about school rules banning coloured spectacles, here's my point of view in a more general sense.

We Malaysians are proud to be Malaysians. We have Malay people, Chinese, Indian and on and on to form a totally unique country.

I don't know about you guys, but foreigners are jus going to look at us and say 'Ceh, Asians'.

Not like we care what they think of anyway. Those thoughts are for losers aren't they?

Anyway, as Zhi Wei aptly put it, Senseless school rules. I am here to show you guys more things hidden in a veil of stupidity in school.

For starters, when I first came to High School Batu Pahat, they started distributing blue cards that says the school rules and such and such. I find the rules particularly amusing. Its funny if you get what I mean. Don't think, that's the keyword.

Well, why do I find it amusing? Let's see here..

Kesalahan-Kesalahan dan Hukuman ( Wrongdoings and punishment )

1. Vandalisme - 10 markah demerit
2. Tidak buat kerja rumah - 5 markah demerit
3. Melawan guru - 10 markah demerit
4. Melawan pengawas - 5 markah demerit

Something like that. You get the general idea. That's not the stupid part. You are thinking man.. DON'T THINK! Here's the funny part.

Kesalahan-Kesalahan berat dan hukuman ( Serious wrongdoings and punishment )
1. Merogol atau mencabuli kehormatan pelajar perempuan - 20 markah demerit
2. Kesalahan mencederakan pelajar lain - 20 markah demerit
3. Mengambil dadah atau merokok - 20 markah demerit.

Seriously, in my school, when I was in form 1, there is only demerit but no merit. And each students start with 100 or 50 ( can't remember, at some point some even said 500 merit points ) and at the end of our education period in school, the behaviour value in our certificate will be based on our merit points.

BULL SHIT.

We can rape at least 2 girls and only get a 'kelakuan buruk' in behaviour value. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FOR???????????

Are you thinking? You are not supposed to. And you know that in an event where a rape occurs, demerit system won't even be in use. The guilty asshole will be apprehended and on to the court with him. So why the fuck do they even bother to put that in? Probably them authorities think students are as senseless as them. If it has to be in, at least the punishments has to be logical ain't it?

And aaaahhh, being a prefect is not easy at all in my school. No talking, have to show a good example.. chosen as the best students among all... no fooling around. All bullshit lar.

Prefects are allowed to go out 10-15 minutes early before recess, and equally long after recess. That means our recess is split into two, before and after recess.

Recently, the management called all prefects to gather round to receive instructions. I shall call the Mr. 1 and Mr.2 and Mr. 3

Mr. 1 goes : "There are teachers complaining that prefects are taking their own sweet time to go into class. Please don't abuse your freedom. Don't tarry too long and go back to class immediately after your recess. There are teachers saying that prefects play truant under the cover of having recess after doing duties. Please don't do that anymore thank you."

Sounds quite ok. Until Mr. 2 comes along.

Mr. 2 goes : " If you are called to help other teachers or senior assistants, please explain to your teacher first. If not they will complain. I know it can't be avoided that prefects go late into class, so next time inform your teacher that you will be late. But don't take too long to inform them, if we ask you to help please come immediately."

Sounds stupid. But still quite ok. Until Mr. 3 comes along.

Mr. 3 goes : "You all prefects don't be lazy. Don't go back to class so early!! Wait until at least 90% of the students are back into their respective classes before you leave your duty post and go back to class! I see many prefects leaving their posts the moment recess ends! Then the students will stay out and not go back to class!"

THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM?? One wants us to go back ASAP, one wants us to inform teachers but be there immediately, and one wants us to go back late. the fuck they want?

And as much as my principal loves the toilet, tries to maintain it and accuses anyone who stays in there more than 3 minutes as collaborating with djinns, my school toilet still sucks. Door cannot lock, toilet cannot flush, pipes cannot off and all. Sure, after principal scold, things were good for a moment. Then it started to revert back to normal. And principal also does not really bother about it. He just like to scold.

Here's a general definition of our Malaysian small-leaders ( I don't include our Prime Minister. So far he hasn't done anything I don't like yet. ) I mean those club leaders.. school leaders and all.

They like to talk. They usually go up stage, talk about one issue for half an hour, then come down and let the others do their job. Then they get the credit.

Here's an example. Zhi Wei and I mimicked the hell out of them.

"Kita mesti bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Kerjasama sangat penting untuk menangani masalah ini eh. Kalau tidak ada kerjasama, masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani lar.. Kalau masalah ini tidak dapat ditangani, maknanya tidak ada kerjasama lar eh? Oleh itu kita mestilah bekerjasama untuk menangani masalah ini. Paham?"

Being a prefect ain't easy either. For the entire year, we work for them, we PAY them, we suck up to them, we do their dirty job, we get scolded, and we don't get praised for job well done.

I know because I am a very angry prefect in school. Other prefects usually abandon hope and neglect their duty altogether. I become the victim. I am the unfortunate fucker who happens to be at the place where they abandon duty, and I end up doing work of four prefects. Then in meeting, I am not mentioned ( not that I want, but this sucks ) nor praised, but I am scolded together with them who do not do their job. Occasionally, I have to skip duties for more important issues at hand, I told Head Prefect, but I get the hint when he starts scolding in meetings. So, do work get scold. No do work get scold. And I pay you to scold me. And now as I approach closer to SPM, us form 5 prefects get threatened all the time. Our certs are in jeopardy. The fuck? I understand if my fellow form 5 prefects don't do their duties and I cover for them, I am willing to. But I seriously hate it when its the Form 6 or Form 4 or even Form 3 prefects who escape duty, I cover for them, and us Form 5 gets the scolding.

That's it. No praise, all scold.

And the way they scold, they go about like the pathetic shit they are. They start saying how tough things are for them, how they get scolding from teachers, how we must respect them.. truth is, all they do is walk around chat with their friends and then see who is not at duty. Then scold. Prefects cannot talk when doing duties they say.

I don't mean all head prefects are like that. My school vice head pref is a decent chap :) He knows how to say fuck, and swears like me. But more discreet larrrrr~~

Speaking of swearing, Zhi Wei and I's influence in my class is evident. We started out as a good class. Students with no life but study. Until me and Zhi Wei and Melvin came along.

Half the class started swearing in no time. Even those goody-goody-two-shoes also started swearing. Heck they even know more about foul words than me, some of them.

Just imagine a very innocent looking guy who studies everyday, and seemingly so absorbed in his studies that he does not think about negative values. Then just imagine that guy suddenly looks up and at you, then says 'Fuck!'

DAMNIT LAR DAMN FUNNY YOU KNOW??????????

Waaahhhh...

The next time someone starts saying about how easy it is to download porn or watch porn, I am going to laugh right in his or her face.

A friend asked me where to download Mission Impossible 3 soundtracks. Naturally, I would search for the torrent since bitcomet is such an easy tool to use. And guess what I found.

Click for clearer view.

This is so screwed up. What has the world come to? Such a title for a porn movie?

AND CHECK OUT THE NUMBER OF SEEDERS AND PEERSSSSSSsss

My first time!

Skipped school today. :D

So I asked my friend, bobdog the stupid dog a.k.a. Chong Wei Ming a.k.a. someone-who-has-a-decent-name-but-prefers-a-stupid-name-just-to-be-cute.

"What did you guys do in school today?"

His reply was 1 word. 1 WORD!!

"Nothing."

How cool is that?

Anyway, my aunt left the car for me while she went outstation to play golf. Why must go outstation? I also don't know. But that's the reason why she asked me to skip school. And I am not complaning.

So.. the reason she left the car for me is so that I can buy grandma lunch, whatever she wants to eat.

After buying porridge for her, I thought for 2 years about what I myself wanted to eat. Then I decided that I don't know, and I will go to the nearest restaurant or food business outlet and buy whatever they offer. And I found KFC!! Hey, whose complaining? I always liked KFC's mashed potatoes.

So as I was searching for a parking, I noticed that there were unusually lots of parking spaces. The logical thing to do would be to park closest to the KFC store.

After parking, I went into KFC and came out 3 minutes later. And I saw A RED SLIP ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE WINDSCREEN.

WHAT THE FUCK??????

Kena saman?? Ape benda??

Apparently, the fellow who issued me the summon marked my mistake as 'Meletak kenderaan bermotor di tempat yang menghalang pili bomba'.

I was like, where the hell is the fire hydrant? Then I saw it.

Behind a rubbish bin, and covered with big black trash bags on both sides.

Conspiracy man. So I was like 'Wtf, RM100.' Have to starve five weeks.

Then I keep thinking of ways to tell my aunt. How on earth did I get slapped a fine in 3 minutes. I even thought of offering five weeks worth of allowance to pay for it. Just to be responsible.

When I told my aunt however, her reaction totally totalled me.

"Issued by whom? Majlis or Police?"
"That pink pink one. I think is Majlis one.."
"Majlis one don't bother about it."
"wtf? '_'???"

And oh yeah, I am avoiding KFC for some time now. I could have been out in 1 minute. Thanks to KFC's jabbering staff. That might avoid me getting the fine.

I ordered KFC Zinger meal ( Zinger burger + wedges ), 1 regular coke, and 1 mashed potato! RM9.30. I paid, and left the receipt at the counter, which they cleared it immediately. Pretty efficient.

When I reached home, I found that those FREAKING STAFF DID NOT GIVE ME MY MASHED POTATO!

WHAT THE FUCK????????????????????

Zhi Wei's birthday bash and Hokkien people

Guess who? Yep, 4th of September was Zhi Wei's birthday. Took me long enough to procrastinate until I finally feel like updating now.

17 years old, and not once he celebrated his birthday.

17 years old, and not once he treated his friends.

So on his 17th birthday, his friends TREATED Him! WHAT THE FUCK!@#???$?

As you can see, Christopher and me went off to secret recipe and bought a whole Chocolate Indulgence cake! It costed us RM65 what the fuck.

So here's basically how we got the idea to surprise that fucker on his birthday.

3rd Sept : 8.30pm
I was studying. Then I suddenly feel bored. Then, I suddenly remembered its Zhi Wei's birthday in 3 and a half hours. Then, I suddenly remembered I had friends called ah Kwong and Christopher. Then, I suddenly send SMS-es to them ask whether they want to buy cake. Then, I suddenly realized they are fuckers so they won't reply my SMS-es. Then, I suddenly thought I should call them.

here's what ah Kwong said.

Kwong : Buy cake ar? Ok ok, you all buy. How much money tomorrow tell me.

Walamak... steady man. Next day he tells me he no money.

Christopher : Buy cake ar? I go fetch you now.

Also another steady one. So we went off to Secret Recipe. The very first time in my life to step into a Secret Recipe shop. How pathetic is that?

So.. we spent half an hour choosing. Then Chris bought two brownies and one black pepper lamb pie. I bought one cheese brownie.

Price?

1 cake + 2 brownies + 1 cheese brownie + 1 pie = RM 83. Cha Ching.

So the 2 brownies and the 1 cheese brownie was separately packed. Chris asked the cashier..
"Which is the chocolate brownies and which is the cheese brownie?"
I told him.. "Open it and see lar.. stupid.."
The cashier took one on each hand, without opening it, and told Chris which one is the cheese and which one are the two brownies.

Trick? THE WEIGHT LAR!! ALL THE SAME SIZE, TWO IN ONE BOX AND ONE IN ANOTHER BOX! WHAT THE FUCK LAR WHY SO STUPID ONE???

Standing from left : Ah Kwong, Me, Christopher and Heng Leng, whom I forgot to include in the surprise deal.
Seated : Fucker

Form 6 girls, who happens to be Zhi Wei's mum's ex-students also baked him a cake. Sixteen years he has not celebrated one birthday. And his 17th one turns out to be a double celebration. Oh make that triple, we had Maths Modern Paper that day. 12-14 years in his life, each time birthday sure exam one.. fucker betul. And those form 6 girls said "you all buy one ar? can throw away already..'

This is the cake they baked. You can see Zhi Wei's hands there.. his white pants.. his blazer....

And you can see a blue skirt + white shirt + a tie beside him. Can't remember who is that..









So we compare lor.... they siao siao lor..

The four girls told me : "You all see already cannot tell other people de leh!"

Then, they went around school finding every guy they know to try their cake.









Fucker you better enjoy the cake. Beside fucker is my goooooood friend Han Hong.

And guess what? Fucker doesn't even know how to cut a cake. I had to do everything for him.

Once again.. happy birthday my friend.

On an unrelated issue. Hokkien People.

I notice right.. Hokkien people are funny people. Most of the things we say doesn't make sense. Really!

Here's why.

In most Hokkien people's dictionary..

'Me' is 'Gua'. But it is never used. It is considered bombastic.
Instead, 'Me' is 'Lim Peh', which literally means 'Your father'.

A classic joke I always like is..

Disneyland's fairy tales always starts with 'Once upon a time, in a place far far away..'
Hokkien's fairy tales starts with 'Lim peh kah li kong..' ( you father tell you.. )

I was at restaurants a couple of times. And the TV there shows Astro, and the programmes were hokkien soaps. Usually, it always involves gangsters. Hokkien people seem to think loud is good, crass is better, rude is best.

Anyway, I almost choked when I actually listened to their script.

The hero was getting beaten up. He was tied head down, and then the rope was lowered and he was dunked in a barrel of water. Then he was pulled up, gasping. The chief gangster went near him and said..

"Lim peh jit zhun kah li kong. Le eh lao peh lao bu sama di lim peh eh chiu!"
( Your father now tell you. Your father and mother is in your father's hands )

"Na si le mai ka lim peh kong lui di do lo, lim peh tiok ho le lao peh si "
( If you don't tell me where is the money, your father will kil your father )

Doesn't make sense. What kind of soap is that?

And then right.. every sentence they speak is incomplete without foul words. E.g.

"Wah lao eh hi kor siao gina jin eh si kanina eh pua siu.." ( I won't translate. )

:)

Conclusion? Hokkien people are cool because they don't make sense.

Until then..

Chronicles of my 'life'

Seventeen years and seven months and twelve days ago ( post date ), the boy was born. The boy who lived, at times unfortunately.

Right, to most people who doesn't know me, which practically includes everyone and myself, here's a brief introduction to the greatest guy on earth.

First off, I will skip the part about myself.

Moving on, my familyyy.

My parents are ubercool people. My bro's cool, and my sis is also cool. My bro's handsome, my sis is beautiful.

Let's start with my mum and her cute conversations with me.

Since the age of .. when I first began to have a memory anyway.. mum would go like..

Mum : Son ar, what do you want tell mummy ok?
Me : *stupid arse* I want this.. I want that...
Mum : Okay! No problem! Wait until mummy tiok lottery first!
Me : *stupid stupid arse* Okay!

Promises from the age of five until seventeen. So far, the score of fulfilled vs. unfulfilled remains at 0 : 21. Everything ranging from a car, a mansion, a trip to Disneyland and etc etc.

Finally, at the age of 16, back at my mum's village in Kuala Pilah.

Mum : Son ar, mummy really promise you if tiok first prize in lottery will give you everything ok?
Me : *fucker* Ma.. get first prize also cannot fully pay me lar....

:)

Here's more!

Mum : You know hor.. you are the very product of accident. An accident that resulted in a boy.
Me : Wtf?

And that is why, my bro is 27, my sis is 25.. and I am 17 '_'

Here's a couple more. My mum's super gossip attitude. :D This is the coolest.

Age five : Shit in pants in elementary school.
Age six : My mum asked me my ambition as in occupation. Stupid arse me replied :
"Ma, I will become a car salesman so that next time, what car you want also I give you."

Present date :
Mum to friends : This son ar.. shit in pants you know.
Me : WHAT THE FUCK????

Mum to friends : This son will become a car salesman. Next time I can have any car I want.
Me : '_'|||

Mum, you are so cool!

Here's a couple of coolest ones with my Dad.

Me : Hey dad, bla bla bla..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla bla bla...
Dad : *grunt*
Me : bla blab labl ablablablabkla....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok?
Dad : *grunt*
Me : ok..
Dad : *grunt*

and this is recently..

Me : Hey dad.. I think I scored like shit in mid year exams..
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Really really terribly....
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok..

After getting mid year..

Me : Hey dad! I scored straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : I am among the only six to get straight As!
Dad : *grunt*
Me : Ok...

My dad's so cool you need a jacket at times to talk to him. Want to make him talk? Get him drunk first. My dad smokes and drinks.

Age 7 : Dad got home drunk one night. He started singing loudly.. burping and all. I went downstairs to see wtf was happening. Dad saw me, he smiled and laughed, then he came next to me, gave me a can of beer and a packet of cigarrettes. Then he went upstairs to throw up.

And no, I did not smoke or drank what he gave me. Stupid arse..

My bro.. nothing much special. He dotes on me very much, very hardworking, the very exact opposite of me in character. But we never fight. Probably the age gap. My bro's very sensible yes. But since the beginning until now, he had.. 4 or 5 girlfriends. All of them Christians. That makes my mum a bit cranky. My mum believes firmly in Chinese ancestor worshipping, and her own son not holding the joss stick makes her very pissed off. Now my bro is getting married on the 30th September to a Singaporean girl, who also happens to be a Christian.

Here's the funny part. That girl's family, everyone is a devout Buddhist like my mum. Except her, who joined Christianity. And my bro's been dragged along to church, religion yet unknown to me whether he is still Buddhist or Christian now.

So.. my mum was like..

Mum : Son ar.. next time don't be like your bro ar.. preferably find a girl who is a buddhist lar.. don't find those Amen one.. ( in my mum's dict, Amen ones are Christians )
Me : *fucker* Ma, I won't lar.. I promise.. I go find Allah one.. ( and Allah ones are Islams )

My sis and I just share a harmonious relationship. Nothing much exciting between us.

On to friends.

My life with Zhi Wei.

Can't remember since our history goes waaaaaaaaay back until standard 2 or 3. But here's a couple of VERY MEMORABLE ONES. Ones that will show you what kind of fucker he is.

Situation A : At the age of 5, I had my first crush. Can't remember that girl now. Then at the age of 11, I fancied this pretty girl ( who suddenly became freakishly ugly as she grew older ). I did not tell anybody. Until I told Zhi Wei. Then.. I regretted it.

Recess time in Montfort school :
Zhi Wei yelled to everyone.
Z.W : Eh Eh! Come here come here everyone! I tell you one biggggg secret! I tell you who Leslie likes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me : '_'...

And soon... from one name, I gained six nicknames over night.

And I can tell you, Zhi Wei's dad is also cool like my dad. I remember once in primary school. Zhi Wei was walking with his dad at the hall. I approached them.

Me : Uncle.
Zhi Wei's dad : *walks past by..*
Me : Uncle!
Zhi Wei's dad : *continues walking..*
Me : wtf..?
Zhi Wei : *shrugs*

then I remember once I went to Zhi Wei's house. His dad was trying to tembak Zhi Wei.

Z.W.D : My son ar.. has so many video games.. ONE entire album full of it!
Me : Uncle.. I think I have four lar..

:) Until the penguins-potatoes-full-of-shit-rectum-on-fire-chlorophyll-and-many-more stupid philosophies, I guess that's it.

I feel so damn free now. Physics paper is beginning in another 33 hours.

Recently, I also cannot control myself lar.. my mum no need think also can guess.. wah liew eh.. she terus say I gila perempuan. How the hell did she know??

I tell you guys( and girls) honestly lar.. there's this Form 6 girl in my school who happens to catch my eye. She's not pretty. She's not cute. She's short. She's skinny ( maybe not that skinny lar.. ). But she's beautiful..
Get the point.

And I am not going to tell Zhi Wei who she is. I have enough nicknames ranging from 'Leslie' to 'Fucker' already.

Fat guys! I bring hope!

It is scientifically unproven! But this Indian dude I saw just went on ahead with it!

Well, if you are worrying about your Battle of the Bulge, here's the solution to your simple problem!

Ever felt that that tummy is ruining the way you look in every kind of clothes? Ever felt that you want to stop wearing baggy clothes for once? Then go ahead!

I saw this quite fat Indian dude today downtown. My aunt was driving btw. He wore a shirt so tight, I could see his nipples and navel and EVERY STRAND OF HAIR on him. I was like.. 'Oh my god..... this guy looks like.. wtf man..' I told my aunt and she began laughing so hard I felt insecure sitting in the car while she drove.

Ya know, the shirt was so tight, he looked like he had blue ( the shirt was blue btw ) skin instead of normal skin colour. Know those porey-porey shirts that are a bit like singlets? He was wearing them, and the pores are over stretched xD

You gotta admire him man.. walking around half naked. I wanted to take a photo of how absurd he looks, but I was afraid he might suddenly turn around and look at me, then go 'Oi, what the fark?' then he starts throwing mashed roti canai at me.

Trials - 9 and 1/3 subjects over. All that is left is physics I and II. Wish me luck!
Considering my Add Maths already hancur.. All I can hope for now is 9 A1s and 1 more fucked up grade. Pray that its at least a B!